To ask what others do? (Childcare)

[Staycalmandscream]

Lone parent. Zero family support of any kind, for years. So I've raise my kids totally alone. Friends I could lean on, don't live near us (I moved away for work years ago) so can't help except maybe in an emergency.

So I was a SAHM due to various factors for the first 8 years, now I have a little job which is a few days every few months. Altho moneywise it's terrible it allows me flexibility & kept my freedom to revolve life around the kids, with no one to fall back on if they were I'll etc (one has medical considerations).

Anyway... I've seen a job at a local school linked to what I currently do, more regular hours within the school day but still not FT, the pay still poor but could be good for me / us in the bigger picture.

I've checked term dates & on the whole they correspond to my kids school hols but there's the odd day / week not.

How do other people who have literally no one manage in these situations? I know on defined holiday times there's holiday clubs, is there an alternative? As I'd only be working a few hours in the core part of the day so would be paying for a full day I wouldn't need. But also like in the NY, this potential job would need me in a day before my kids go back, and I'm not aware of holiday clubs over Christmas / NY. What do others do who have no one? Having been out of the work environment since having kids I'm hoping there's an option for people like me I'm unaware of. Or else how on earth do others manage!

If it’s school holidays then there will be local clubs running the kids could attend. I know financially you might have to take the hit at the time but think of the longer term bigger picture.

But what about the odd inset day or going to work in the NY a day before my kids school resumes, those clubs don't run then? Or is there something else?

I don't know how people manage. Although I guess part of it is this job being school based means there's no flexibility with taking leave which perhaps is the limiting factor compared to other jobs people might be in

Depending on when the holidays land over xmas some holiday clubs might run after new year, it might just not be one attached to your kid's school. This xmas schools here don't go back until the Thursday so our club is opening Monday-wednesday and will take kids from other schools.

Depending on the hours you have to do during other holiday periods you may be one of the rare working parents who some of the activity clubs work for - there's always cheap sports ones near us but they tend to be 9/10 to 2/3 so don't fit with full working days

Babysitting swaps (a.k.a. play dates) - if managed in a fair way (so that you don't end up as the subject of a thread on here!) can be a lifesaver. People make it up as they go along, mainly. Childcare is expensive, and not always available. But holiday clubs will often do half days, so you don't have to pay for a whole day that you won't use.

I worked at a school and the holidays matched my kids school holidays. There were about 3 occasions when my kids had an inset day and my school didn't. There were no holiday clubs because it was officially term time. On these occasions my DD's best friend's mum kindly looked after my two. I help her out sometimes when she needs childcare so it's mutually beneficial. She's not actually a friend of mine (although I like her a lot!) it's just that our DDs are best friends. I don't have any close friends or family nearby so can't ask them. Do your DC have any best friends whose families might be able to help? You can offer to help them another time.

It depends on the school really. My sil is a teacher and school allows them to take in kids over the age 5 for extra time etc but not admin staff. My friend’s school has links with local childminding services who offer discounts etc.

I feel for you. We’re in the same position, though not a single parent family, we both work and have zero support nearby.

DD’s old childminder will sometimes do a flexible day here and there so you could ask around CMs locally to see if anyone would be prepared to have that sort of relationship with you?

There are also obviously babysitting and nannying agencies but expensive.

DP and I often have to manage it through taking annual leave. Would that be an option in your new set up?

Good luck, it sounds like a great step forward for your family in the bigger picture.

My childminder will let me pay for just a morning or a few hours, it's worth asking round childminders in your area and specifying what you'll need, many will charge by the hour for odd days.

If there's odd days in the school holidays, you can see if any of yoru DCs friends have working parents who'll be up for a childcare swap - if you offered to have their DCs for a full day in the school holidays in exchange for a day you can't do (which wouldn't be a full day given your hours), many will accept.

You could also look at building a relationship with a local childminder. If they have spaces they tend to be more amenable to more ad-hoc arrangements.
Otherwise, some schools are happy for staff children to come in on inset days if they amuse themselves quietly.

Our childminder we used from when she was a baby but she still takes kids up to any age, they love it as they get to play with the little ones and theres a big range of ages there in the holidays and after school. She also will charge by the hour so perhaps message a few in your area and see if they will accept not paying for a full day. Also ask other parents in your childs school, others will have different set ups but might give you some ideas.

The fact that it's school based is the clincher, so it will be harder with less flexibility. I work full time (as does my dh, so not a lone parent, but the solution is the same regardless). We have no family or friends who could help. We rely on annual leave and holiday club. We do have a local holiday club, but it's only open 3 days a week (closed on Mondays and Fridays). I/we take annual leave to cover those days. Because we don't work in a school (dh is self employed, so no paid leave anyway, he just doesn't work and doesn't get paid), we can take time off quite flexibly.

You may actually find that it makes more sense to not work in a school environment, build in a bit more flexibility for yourself, so that you can make use of holiday clubs and your annual leave.

What about something like Sitters.com? If you know the dates well in advance you should be able to book someone in early?

First thing first - you need to get the job! So if this is the only thing stopping you, apply for it!

If you get an interview, start chatting to any childminders who to do the run to your DC's school, explain about the few days and see if any would take your DC for the odd day here and there.

There's also the childcare swap option with friends. Definately worth investigating. (Eg. I would definately take someone else's child for the last day of the school holidays at Christmas if you would take mine so I could do last minute shopping and prep on one of the few days they are off before christmas!)

Are there any of your DC's friends' mums/dad's who may be happy to help and have your DC for a playdate? Just in general chat you could mention about possibly starting a job and your issues. One may jump in and say they would help.
Do you have playdates generally with your DC's friends over? It would be a good start at getting to know people and forming a support network. Worked for me.
Maybe a friends' family have a regular sitter they could introduce you to who they use or maybe they have a young family member who is experienced and looking for the odd babysitting job.

If ita just the odd day, Pay for a babysitter? Or try and swap favours with other parents?

How old are they?

I agree, you havent got the job! Don’t let this put you off applying and seeing through the process

We manage by paying for childcare. But from what you’ve said that won’t be possible (financially?) what would stop you from taking the day off? Aren’t admin staff allowed the odd day off in term time?

I've got a friend who has this problem, and sometimes she pays my 16 year old to mind hers for a day.

Babysitting service if it's just for a few hours.
Is it a job you've got to physically be in the office for, or would wfh on the odd occasion (eg 3 days a year) be an option
Do you have any additional holiday? Or if it's part time, they might let you swap days around if you're stuck

If you have a local parents facebook page just put a post out asking if there are any holiday clubs or play schemes etc on x date

Single parent here, my DDs old Nursery open for holiday clubs and they cover two of the local primary schools inset days, obviously it costs holiday club prices, but they do baking, play sport etc. so I'd look and see if that's an option too?

It also helps to look at your child care expenses as a long term not short term expense. I have ridiculously high expenses on some days, but on most have I none, so I look at it as the cost per total hour worked, not cost per specific hour worked. I save during the year to cover those expenses spells.

I don't work for this reason but my partner does. When my youngest starts school in 3 years I will try and work abit somewhere.

My sister used a childminder for one offs when needed. Maybe look around x

We use Sitters for this and they have always been fine. Get the job first though!

Ha I can see it might look presumptuous I am worried about the logistics of a job I haven't got! I'm just a worrier & practically-minded!

Thanks for suggestions. Reciprocal arrangements are tricky due to accommodation issues. Which money from this job would help to pay to get sorted! Catch 22!

Appreciate all the replies.

Then childminders are your best bet.

If you are a worrier, then perhaps speak to any childminders who are on the school run tonight and ask if they take on extra children for odd days here and there. (Just say you are looking at a new role that might mean you ahve to work some of the holidays and would need holiday care).

But apply!