AIBU to ask when you told colleagues/friends you were pregnant, how many weeks?

[ClassicFlourescent]

I am struggling to hide my symptoms, often being sick during the day and extremely lethargic so am considering colleagues.

I am 10 weeks. Am I tempting fate?

I told some colleagues at 10 weeks. My boss, so that he would be sympathetic if my work rate dropped, and HR so that a health and safety plan could be put in place.

Your other colleagues have probably already worked it out, but they won't ask unless you tell them

If your boss knows then nobody else has to know unless you want to tell them. I told my boss at 8 weeks but other colleagues weren’t told unless my pregnancy impacted them directly during the beginning. I then made a short announcement in the second trimester at a meeting that I was pregnant but very unwell and so might not be as visible as I once was.

Telling people is not a know cause of miscarriage or problematic pregnancy

I told folks in the first few weeks because I was doing ivf and would have been open about talking about miscarriage

I told my boss straight away when I found out. He knew I’d had a miscarriage earlier that year and he needed to know that I was anxious. And pretty much all friends and family.

I found the mc hard as not many people knew I was pregnant. I felt that if it happened again I couldn’t really hide my trauma again, so would prefer to be able to share openly with people.

The rest of my colleagues I think was roughly 10 weeks ish.

Told Line manager at 20 weeks and the rest at 24 weeks. Family was told at 20 as well the first time around. With the second we told immediate family at 22 weeks. Others didn’t know until after he was born. I’m not one to announce and would happily go along and not say a word to anyone. If/when we have a third, probably will just let family see me and leave it at that. We live far away from our families so could easily go through most of a pregnancy without being seen.

DC1 I told my boss at 12 weeks and the rest of my friends and colleagues at 26 weeks

DC2 I told my boss at 17 weeks and everyone else after 21 weeks

Family at 14 weeks, work at about 18. I threw up for my whole pregnancy, but no one noticed me puking at work from week 7 .

If the worst happens your manager can deal with telling everyone. That’s not something you should have to worry about. Good luck and wishing you all the best for a happy and healthy pregnancy!

I told them at 12 weeks. I still lost the baby after this. I show really early too. By the time I lost the baby I was huge and people knew whether I told them or not.
I got pregnant again and still didn’t tell people until 12 weeks. I had decided to leave this job even though they had been fab. Someone asked me a few days before my scan if I was pregnant as I was really slim when I started a course we were on and now I wasn’t! I found it bizarre someone could even ask that but she did know my past to be fair even though it was only a few months earlier.
I think there is no right or wrong. I think work found it easier to deal with and were better with me as they already knew. I also think tell those you know would be a great support if the worst happens.
Good luck.

I asked my manager to tell everyone as pp says above. Made it much easier for me:

My boss: four weeks. Because I needed time off for appointments related to the pregnancy straight away, so he needed to know! He’s been incredibly supportive, I actually think he was the third person to know after my husband and I!

Colleagues: I didn’t announce it so to speak, they just found out after we announced on social media after the twelve week point had passed.

Friends: close friends I told at around six weeks as and when it came up as I knew I’d want their support if it went wrong. Other friends who weren’t super close I told after twelve weeks.

Basically before twelve weeks I only told people I was really close to who I could trust to keep it a secret and knew I’d go to for support and be okay discussing a miscarriage with if it didn’t work out (barring my boss who needed to know for appointments, but I’d also have wanted him to know if it’d gone wrong too in case I needed time off work). I was glad I stuck to the twelve week ‘rule’ as I couldn’t have handled having loads of people to explain it to if it’d gone wrong.

didnt tell anyone: family, friends or work until after my 12week scan

Christ I’ve only just found out, it’s crazy early and I can’t keep my mouth shut about it! I thought the second time I would be much more chilled but I am too excited to keep it in 🙈🙈🙈🙈

I told work around 15 weeks. Had had previous m/c and wanted to be private if it happened again. Only told them cos my uniform was getting tight and I needed to size up, and I was pretty sure my boss would guess anyway from the enormous boobs that appeared from nowhere

Announced today! Had my scan yesterday but I did tell close colleagues and my manager much sooner so they could support and cover for me if needed.
Congratulations and good luck x

On the whole I told no one until 13 weeks with either pregnancy (other than my husband) and doctor/midwife.

The exception was that with my first pregnancy I had some bleeding at 8 weeks and took a few days off work. I told my boss but asked him not to say anything to other staff in case things went wrong. Instead, he just said rather vaguely that I was Ill.

While I was off, a friend and former colleague phoned me at work and was told I wasn't well. She immediately phoned me at home to ask what was going on as she didn't believe I was ill (on the grounds that I was never ill). I told her but asked her to keep it to herself.

I drink tea at regular intervals during the day. One of the first symptoms of pregnancy for me was that the smell of tea, which normally I don't even notice has a smell, was sickening. So, anybody who had been pregnant could tell by my request for some herbal tea, that I was pregnant!

I don't get why its a big secret - if you have a miscarriage, needing a D & C, the absence is obvious and the fact that I for one felt knocked out and exhausted by the loss of blood, was not something I could cover up in a small office.

I told my manager around 5 weeks as had some episodes of early bleeding and had to go for scans etc. I can't actually remember when I told other colleagues. I told close friends and family around the 5/7 weeks mark again because of bleeding. I figured those were the people we'd tell if we miscarried anyway so why not put them in the picture right away.