I’ll try and keep this shortish. My OH and I both have small families. His family lives almost 200 miles away so we don’t see them often, but still a few times a year. My family lives on the outskirts of the city I live in. I have one child and none of them have been to see her since her birthday in the summer. I take her to them to try and maintain the relationship even though I don’t drive and it means multiple forms of public transport. For context, it’s about 20 mins in a car, but the transport link-up is pretty shit and can take up to 90 mins. She likes the bus and train so it’s not that bad, it just feels like all the effort is on me.
Anyway, before my daughter was born everyone was always going on about how they were going to do this and that (she was the first baby born in the family in over 20 years) and spend all this time with her, but it hasn’t happened. I’ve mentioned it several times since she was born, which results in promises to see her more, but it doesn’t happen and I feel like none of them really even knows her. They’re missing out but more than that I feel like she is. When I was young I loved staying at my granny’s or my auntie’s and spending time with them, or when they came to stay with us and it was a riot. I’ve got a lot of really great memories. My wee girl just doesn’t have that and it bothers me. I’m not being unreasonable am I? They were all so excited when she was born and I don’t place any expectations on them at all really, I don’t expect them to disturb their own lives. I just feel like they don’t make any effort for her no matter how often I invite them to our home or make it clear they can stop round any time. It’s not unreasonable to feel saddened by family that lives a 20 minute drive away not coming to see my daughter now and then surely? Yet I feel like I am.