To be fed up of being ignored !!

[Fudgecakes]

Just a vent really! I'm fed up of being ignored/forgotten about by my adult nieces and nephews!! Texts are rarely acknowledged yet you know they've picked them up as they're always on their phones, birthday cards are always late, that's if you get them at all - even my dd's birthday (13 and youngest, I have 7 nieces and nephews - the oldest is 28, youngest is 21 so much older than her) is forgotten til after the date or completely ignored. DH, birth uncle to 4 of them, NEVER gets a card. I always remember their birthdays and will just pop a tenner in a card so they can have a drink on us, as they're all working now - small gesture but I don't forget. Also spoil DN's 3 kids on their birthdays making an effort to pop in and see them.

Am sad...it's rude at worst and at best....it's obvs I'm not worth bothering about or remembering. I texted my niece on Sunday requesting an easy favour....just could she pop something in the post to me....heard nothing. She hasn't forgotten...has form for this and rarely acknowledges even invites to family things...I always have to text a few times. It's just so bloody rude ☹

Take a step back and stop trying. Still send a card but without any money in it. Don't ask them for favours and let your partner deal with inviting his family to family parties.

Stop sending them the £10... they don't appreciate it.

Text your niece again and request quite clearly that you want her to call you.

Make sure you remember their lack of interest at Christmas.. Cards only.
Empty ones.

I don’t send cards to my auntie(s) or uncles and I’m not sure if anyone else who does it. Also don’t get gifts for my cousins or their kids. There would be wayyyyy to many birthdays and gifts to remember if we all did this.

Maybe your nieces and nephews are just not as close to you as you feel you are to them. Especially as you say they’re in their 20’s and their own children are on the scene.

You're expecting a lot more than they're willing to give I think.

I don't send cards to my aunties, uncles or cousins and they don't send them to me.
It's rude not to acknowledge your messages but other than that you need to accept they have separate lives.

Maybe you're right @MrsWill....maybe I'm overthinking the birthdays and I should scale back theirs now they're older. But ignoring texts from your Aunty is rude and disrespectful.....it's a one way street!

I think not acknowledging gifts and cards is very rude regardless of age.

You might need to stop OP. I was in your position. They were very happy to receive but utterly shit at remembering my DC birthdays. I didn't expect cards just a text would have been nice. I don't do it anymore.

I did attempt to talk about it to the parents but got told 'they are children'. I gave up. 🙄

Just one more text to say you are sad they don't have time for you. Then stop, no more texts, no more money, no favours. Send cards late and empty.

They won't care, especially if there is nothing in it for them.

I would never expect cards etc from my adult niece. She's far too busy with her friends, having fun, which is exactly as it should be! I occasionally send her a funny photo and I like it if she sends back a laughing emoji, but I don't expect any more than that. Oh and we love each other to bits, would do anything for each other etc.
Just scale back the contact and don't be so needy (kindly meant, OP).

I guess I need to stop judging others by my standards....then I wont be hurt or offended! Common practice on my side of the family to receive birthday cards from Aunties and Uncles...I still do now from my one remaining Auntie! I'll pull back a bit I think....maybe families just aren't as tight knit anymore 😕

Gen Z don't really do cards in my experience.

I agree with PP - just pull back a bit and leave them to it.

I have 17 DN and N. Almost all adults now. I love them all dearly and am genuinely close to most of them. I have never received a card from any of them for a birthday and probably not Christmas.

Obviously they still usually get a mention in their parents’ cards.

Not sure what you are texting to them but yes, a bit rude to never reply.

Relax and enjoy their company. In a few years your DD will be one of them and hopefully will have an adult relationship with her cousins. Ours all get on brilliantly and that brings us huge joy. And no, they never send one another cards either.

I am wondering why you send cards to your DH's nieces and nephews. I don't send anything to DH's family. They're his relatives, he can deal with it. If your side don't send anything back to you, then don't bother with them. I wouldn't expect anything from an aunt as an adult and I wouldn't be expected to get them anything either.

I guess it depends on how close you are about texts etc. And what you asked them for. Do you definitely have the right number for them? Can you not just send messages through your sibling to your niece? This is what my family are like.

I agree with winterdays, don't bother to send them presents or money if they don't have the courtesy to say thank you.

You are being taken for granted. If you hear any complaints tell them the simple reason why.