I am lucky to have lots of people in my life. A very small but loving family, a couple of sets of really good friends, a nice man in my life... but I see these as different compartments of my life and I not always, but often, choose not to mix them.
My friends have never met the 'special person' in my life and to be honest unless I get engaged or move in with him - neither of which I'd want to happen for at least a couple of years - I don't want to introduce him to anyone. I just find that specific relationship very private to me and it isn't really something I feel that open talking about. If anyone ever asks oh how's it going with him I just shrug and say oh yeah good thanks. Don't get me wrong I'm not hiding anything and he treats me well, I just think as long as I'm happy people don't need to be concerned. On the odd occasion when I've had a disagreement with him (we met online a couple of years ago) I've just fumed in private and we've then sorted it out between the two of us. I'd never phone somebody to rant about it, probably my Mum but even then only if I was desperate! I'm not hugely close to any of their partners either and it's not like any of us would want "couple nights out" etc. I think part of this is because I've seen and heard it all so often in the past. Somebody will flaunt their relationship around and air everything in public both good times and bad times and then well meaning friends will pick apart someone's personal life with their opinions and judgements. I'd much prefer it if people stayed out of mine thanks! I'd find it very intrusive and quite pressurised.
Another example is work. A friend of mine recently (casually) asked me to enquire about any jobs at my place now that her youngest is in school, which I immediately said no to and was very honest about. I feel like my place of work is my own thing and shouldn't be mixed with my personal friends. It's not a hospital or a big corporate place where I'd likely end up seeing a friend who just happened to start working there it's just a very small office with 10 of us. I know if someone I knew applied for a job there then that's up to them and I can't control where people work, but would I specifically try to secure a job for a mate? No. Again I've seen it all before several times with personal friendships deteriorating or going south permanently because they've mixed their work and have then grown sick of the sight of each other or there's been a fall out over a promotion or some other work related drama etc that would never have happened if they'd not worked together. Twice I advised a friend not to do this, twice she ignored me and eventually lost both friendships.
The final example would be a needy, toxic relative and my complete refusal to have him around me at all when I'm with other people. I don't have an issue with family in general, just this relative specifically and the discomfort I feel around him. But there's much more to that and I won't bore you. He makes me feel like a shit person for not including him, but I won't budge on this.
Don't get me wrong I've introduced people to each other before and I've been pleased when they've hit it off just like I've not been bothered if they've not liked one another etc. I did also introduce my past boyfriend to a couple of people but then it didn't work out so it was pointless anyway. I often see someone having a night out with colleagues and they'll think nothing of bringing friends along too, or someone will plan a spa day with some mates and they'll happily invite the mother in law.
I do feel things are simpler and there is less hassle by keeping certain things separate but also wonder in the back of mind am I just a massive, awful control freak?!
Does anyone else pigeon hole parts of their life?!