To have a word with this friend....

[inmyshoos]

My friend has no sympathy for mh issues.
My partner has some quite serious issues that he has had his entire adult life (abusive childhood and carries lots of unresolved trauma)
This affects our relationship and things have never been easy but he loves me and i love him dearly. Yes there have been times when he is ill and it has been really hard, ive cried a lot... but this is a normal reaction to a tragic situation. Poor mental health is not easy and still so stigmatised.
Now i understand she wants the best for me, i believe that, however she is completely inappropriate in how she speaks about my partner to me and infront of my dc. She actively tries to set me up with other people and says to my dc i need someone who will look after me and take me on nice holidays
She has lots of very good qualities. I value her friendship. But i do not want or need her judgement around my relationship choices and most definitely not infront of my dc who fortunately are mature enough to see how inappropriate and unkind her comments are. Im in my 40s and perfectly capable.

Aibu to think there might be a way to get this message across and not risk our friendship?

She actively tries to set me up with other people and says to my dc i need someone who will look after me and take me on nice holidays hmm

She has no respect for you. I would cut contact.

I think she does lack respect for me. Im ten years younger and think she perhaps mistakes kindness for softness. Tells me i need to be more resilient... which makes me wonder if much of it is projection. I'm pretty resilient i think, i left an unhappy marriage and im doing fine, so are my dc. She is in an unhappy marriage and feels needs to stay for her dc.

I dont want to cut contact altogether. We are part of a nice group of friends. It would be awkward. The others have commented to me that the way she speaks to me/about my relationship is not ok.