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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU in thinking this is ageist

21 replies

mimp · 05/11/2019 17:35

I went for a job interview. It went well I was in there for over an hour. Initial feedback was good they loved me my experience was brilliant etc etc. They would be making a decision in the next couple of days.
Today I get the call that although I was perfect for the role and they had nothing negative to say about me they have decided to go with a younger candidate that they can mould to the role.
Maybe I'm being over sensitive but it feels ageist to me. For the record I am 47.
Thank you for reading..

OP posts:
Yarboosucks · 05/11/2019 17:40

Before I get to your question I think they probably neglected to say "and pay less..."

Of course it is ageist - negatively for you and positively for the person who got the job. Is there anything for you to take action on? Probably not.

It is shitty though and I think you need to be kind to yourself tonight- in an age appropriate way!

MepsiPax · 05/11/2019 17:41

Bloody hell OP,that's awful. 47? If they consider THAT too old,I despair for people in their 50s or even 60s,trying to find work.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/11/2019 17:41

Obviously ageist

How awful Thanks

safariboot · 05/11/2019 17:53

Unlawful discrimination. Up to you if you want to press it - but unless they deny ever saying what they said, it seems like a strong case.

Original poster
mimp · 05/11/2019 17:58

No I do not want to take it further. I have just never come across it before and I am trying to work out if I am being overly sensitive or it is ageist.
On another note if that's there attitude I'm better of elsewhere.

OP posts:
SafetyAdvice0FeedWhenAgitated · 05/11/2019 18:05

Did they really say younger or did they say less experienced?

Dyrne · 05/11/2019 18:07

If they specifically said they wanted a younger candidate then yes that’s massively ageist.

It’s one thing if they’d said they wanted someone with a bit less experience who didn’t have too many preconceptions about the role etc etc; but to specifically bring age into it could land them in extremely hot water,

wineisnecessary · 05/11/2019 18:19

Definitely ageist but I think a lot are rightly or wrongly. I've experienced discrimination myself during a interview too . Years ago when my dc were quite young I took redundancy and I went for 1 interview and they were really keen and all positive. I got home and they rang me to say when would I be able to start . I was honest as they knew I wasn't working and I said the week after next as its school holidays and I was planning stuff with them . I was dropped like a hot potato, I know it was definitely because I had children. I could of lied and said I was on holiday . I was quite annoyed at the time and I followed up with email for feedback but got a very curt brush off reply . Tbh I was annoyed but then I thought do I want to work for a company like that no .
Believe you be able to make a complaint if you have proof was it on a email or verbally?

wineisnecessary · 05/11/2019 18:19

Sorry missed that you said you got a call .

cosytoaster · 05/11/2019 18:27

Yes - ageist , unfair and wrong. The fact that they told you upfront shows how entrenched ageism is.

Original poster
mimp · 05/11/2019 18:28

It was verbal and said as follows from the recruitment agency "you were perfect and we have nothing negative to say about mimp and nothing that she can improve for any future interviews, it's just that we have decided to go with someone younger that we feel we can mould to our company and she can mould to us"
I would never say I am unflexible, in fact my current role and previous roles all demonstrate how flexible I am.
This clearly isn't the right company for me but I just have never come across what I see as so blatant ageism!?
I posted because my DH says he can see both sides.

OP posts:
PucaIontach · 05/11/2019 18:30

Yanbu.

It is very hard after 40. Sexism and ageism.
I like my job but it took me two years of looking for a job to get it and i was 45 when i started looking.

bizmum1 · 05/11/2019 18:34

Outright ageism - the cheeky beggars! 'Mould to the role' basically means 'pay less'

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 05/11/2019 18:46

,I despair for people in their 50s or even 60s,trying to find work.

I am in my early 50s and can tell you its night on impossible.

MissingMySleep · 05/11/2019 20:25

Yanbu

Fairyliz · 05/11/2019 20:34

I think 45 is the cut off age for getting a new job. After that in my experience employers immediately write you off as being too old and inflexible. Often it’s not even to do with salary if that is quoted in the advert presumably that is what you are prepared to accept.

Doesitevenmatternow · 05/11/2019 20:42

How awful for you op.

It was very very silly of that recruitment consultant to say that to you by the way as it is totally illegal. I suspect she is new to the role - most are sneakier, they take that sort of honest feedback from the company and adapt it to something more palatable. I used to work in recruitment and I often heard outrageous feedback from companies that I would never pass on to the job seeker. The only feedback I ever gave was constructive (eg. They hadn't researched the company or came across unenthusiastic in interview). She probably naively thought you would be happy to hear you hadn't done anything wrong or made any mistakes.

I suspect they wanted somebody 'younger' in their careers however. There can be many reasons for that. Less experience means less pay, less expectations, less demands and more hunger to prove themselves (so way more flexible).

Please don't let this level of shortsightedness make you feel bad. It's their loss!

PucaIontach · 07/11/2019 21:27

,I despair for people in their 50s or even 60s,trying to find work.

I am in my early 50s and can tell you its night on impossible.

AGREEING WITH THE ABOVE STATEMENTS

And yet, governments raise the retirement /eligibility to state pension age. Crazy. Unless employers are induced to put aside their sexism and their ageism then it is cruel to have women going out to job hunt again and again every time they're let go for the heinous crime of being the oldest in the office. (I'm not talking about specific professions) but when sexism and ageism are working against you it's tough finding work. I think a lot of women in their 50s are doomed to finding work in cafes and the like, no matter what they did before.

HidingFromDD · 07/11/2019 21:33

Just to say it's not all doom and gloom. I'm on my 4th new role since 45 (I'm now 56). Each one has been an improvement on the last and I've significantly improved my level and salary. I would say though that I'm in a senior role, and there are some companies that just don't value the experience and that is obvious from the adverts.

Larger corporations are paying much closer attention to be gender diversity and age diversity now so there is hope for the future.

Allegorical · 07/11/2019 21:38

Dh is in recruitment at quite a high level and was surprised and says it is blatant ageism and says she could very easily take that to a tribunal.

Dizzywizz · 07/11/2019 21:45

Surely they would just deny it though, if it was verbal?

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