Workplace AIBU – Or has anyone else experienced similar

[VioletTurner]

So long story short, I have been in my current job for 7 months now and took over from someone (we’ll call them ‘A’) who had been doing the job many years. I’m in Property Management and I’m enjoying the work, but ‘A’ was a qualified surveyor (something that isn’t required by me in my role, mines more of an administrative role). ‘A’ retired 9 months ago and loved it from what I’ve been told. My manager (‘B’) and ‘A’ are great friends and have been for years as they’ve always worked together. It’s a fairly quiet job for me because I’m still learning all the details and processes etc. and I’m more of ‘an extension’ to ‘B’, my line manager. However I seem to be reminded almost every week now that ‘A’ & ‘B’ have been on a night out together, or have been texting, with ‘A’ saying they miss working and really wants to come back. ‘B’ always openly admits that it could be a possibility one day if the business gets more work and ‘A’ would definitely come back.

To be honest I’m not liking the thought of her coming back. I’ve met her many times and she is lovely and I know her knowledge is invaluable. ‘A’ pops in to see everyone every now and again and even came in for 3 days to help out when ‘B’ was on holiday. Everybody seems to love her but I’m absolutely sure that what I’m feeling isn’t necessarily jealousy but more like I’m being pushed out. I have a horrible sinking feeling that if we get more work, ‘A’ will come back and, because they knows the business inside out and worked here for years, will be given the stuff I do now and I’ll become bottom of the pile.

I know its paranoia and I’m not great at confrontation at all so wanted to get some advice first because I know I will have to speak with my manager about it soon enough. I'm considering looking for another role because of the fear of being pushed out.

It’s jealousy you are feeling. If she comes back it sounds like in a different role to you? The best thing you can do is work hard and show them that you are good at your job and easy to work with. Do you suffer from low self esteem?

I totally get that this is upsetting, but I think you need to do everything you can to stop thinking about it. It is almost always the case when you move into a new workplace that people will still be talking about - and often be friends with - former colleagues, and you feel like the person who crashed the party because you don't have that past shared history. It is very easy to feel like any reference to the past colleague is a slight on you, but it really isn't. The reality is that if she was there for years and was well liked, people will still be taking about her 5 years from now, so you need a much thicker skin. I've definitely felt like you do when I've replaced much-loved team members, but as I've gotten older I've learned that it actually talk of former colleagues isn't meant to make me feel bad and isn't a criticism of me.

If you want to be proactive, think hard about what you can do to do your job even better. If B is approachable, why not ask for some feedback. Maybe even say "you all obviously really liked A, is there anything she did that I don't do that I could start doing", etc. Or rather than trying to be A, do what you can to put your own stamp on the job.

But I very much doubt A will come back. Odds are that the longer A is out, the less likely she is to come back - retirement is hard to give up. She may also only be saying this to be nice to B, and has no real intention of coming back.

Unfortunately it would be the same role as me. And yes I suppose I do in some sense.

Op, if your going to take this up with your manager please just say something like - I’ve heard A may be returning part time I just wanted to know if this will affect my job role as A used to do my job. Don’t bring in feelings of being pushed out it may make you look a little immature. I do understand though it’s always hard to gel with everyone in a workplace especially when your relatively new. But please don’t bring in your feelings keep it strictly business. Will it affect my job work load etc x

Agree with @IrrationalIrational, there's nothing wrong with asking what happens to you/your role if A comes back but don't make it sound like you're jealous of her or insecure about anything else. If you don't get an answer that satisfies you, maybe just keep your eyes open for another job?

Well they would only take her on if they have the work you would assume? I doubt it’s all an elaborate plan to get push you out. I wouldn’t say anything just keep work hard and be good at your job, don’t waste energy on these intrusive pointless thoughts.