NC because I feel stupid to admit this.
I’m in a nice relationship now, but at the start of last year I was with someone who wasn’t great to me. I think the problem was that I had kind of idolised him for 2 years because (it appeared) that everyone loved him, he was the life of the party, etc and I thought he was totally unattainable. Turns out he wasn’t and we started a relationship in January. By May he had gotten me pregnant (lied about fertility problems, I was stupid to believe him but you trust the people you love), and had backed me into a corner where I felt like I had no choice but to have an abortion. I stayed with him anyway and a month later he cheated on me.
I feel so stupid because every so often I find myself missing him so much? even though he really fucked over my life for some time and I still feel horrendous about the abortion etc. I just don’t know how to get over it, I’m in a nice relationship now and my life is completely different to last year, I live hours away from him now etc, but I still feel sad about it?