What is the Christmas present buying pecking order when budget is limited?

[Whatjusthappenedthere]

Mine is.
Children under 17. Still at home.
Grand Children.
Adult Children.
Elderly Parents.
Young Nieces / Nephews / elderly relatives .
Adult Brothers Sisters / in laws ... esp the ones with children you are buying for.
Each other.,

Really unsure about this.
I have two children , 16 and 13.
DH has 2 young grandchildren and 4 adult children.
On his side we have brothers / sisters/ nieces / parents.

On my side. No one other than my 2 children and an elderly aunt so long as the budget reached that far.

We share all finances. Joint account and both salaries go in. I earn almost twice as much but I know if it was the other way around it would be exactly the same. Plus My DH works hard but just isn’t paid as much.
However, he does choose not to do over time even when offered.
This year we have less money to spend on Christmas. We are not broke but equally we have had an expensive year primarily due to DHs and my DD mile stone birthdays.

We do need to prioritise the present buying this year. Actually, we would have been in the same situation last year but I was fortunate to receive a PPI payment in respect of a bank account I had a decade ago before I knew DH. This money was shared out between my children , DH’s children and his grandchildren plus all the other gifts. I didn’t mind. I’m not a grinch.

So , is my list fair? My children are having their formative Christmases . So are DHs grandchildren. If there is anything left then I’m happy to work down the list.

AIBU to say I don’t really care if no else gets a gift beyond my children and his grandchildren.
I also host quite a bit over the festivities. But not his adult children as they live to far away.?

What's your budget?

I'm only buying for my DS and my parents this year. It's all getting ridiculous.

I think young children are number one priority and the adults should understand that.

Prioritise the young children. Teens are capable of waitng untill the new year. I don't ever buy for adults.

DH children are all between 21 and 30. Working or sahm’s.

Children living at home
Each other
Grandchildren
Adult children
All other family members

No.4+5 are token anyways in my opinion.

I agree with @reluctantbrit

My whole of Christmas / December birthdays Budget is 1200 pounds this year . That’s gifts, entertainment and travel. I may have a bit more but that’s basically what I’ve managed to ring fence from my overtime
Last year we spent over 3000 but that included 600 pounds going overseas to DHs children and Grandchildren.
Previous Christmas’s have been between 2000 and 3000.
To be fair, these sums include 3 near Christmas birthdays, my DS and 2 of DH adult children, it sounds a lot but it never seems to spread that far over the course of a month .... that’s between the first of the birthdays , Christmas then the last birthdays.

It’s token giving I’m trying to give up if I’m honest. Feels like a waste of time as well as cost. I wanted to introduce a sort of secret Santa style of giving this year between the adults but my DH says it’s just not how his family do Christmas, fair enough as I’m still relatively new to the family . I come from a small family mainly of whom have died so virtually no gifting required sadly.

We get family presents for brothers/sisters and their kids eg. a nice family board game we know they would enjoy. Individual presents for parents & children - you don't have to spend loads on kids though (my 6 year old wants a fluffy keyring, an LOL doll and some felt tips!

I would buy presents for your kids, each other and anyone you are actually going to see in person over Christmas.
I would send a voucher for an experience for the grandkids to do with their parents.

I would send everyone else a card. Presents are overrated once you're an adult. Anything I really wanted I would just buy unless it's expensive in which case I wouldn't expect someone else to buy it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Grandchildren...2 ...£250 each approx
daughter £120
husband £150
mother £100
son in law £80
great nieces and nephews ...£15-£20 each approx £80
cousin £25
cousin's husband £25
cousin's son living at home £15
cousin's grandchild £15
mother's friend £40
my friend. £15

2 dogs stocking and toy approx £10 each

Also send new pyjamas down to daughters for children on Christmas Eve and a new outfit to go under the tree to wear on Christmas day. They are aged 14 and 11 now but they love it all so much.

Everyone at my house on Christmas day also gets a stocking ...so 8 people approx £10-15 each

We also host the whole day every year including all drinks from champagne on arrival through wine at lunch liquers with coffee and any drinks anyone wants throughout the evening.

Hmm bit of a shock when I've had a sudden add up here. Not all bought at once though. Main presents still to buy for all but little surprises bought when I see them. Have been thinking of cutting down. Right ...definitely prosecco instead of champagne on arrival. Need to think of other little economies which won't impact on everyone's enjoyment. Think I have raised expectation too high over the years but I enjoy it all so much.

Your budget of £1200 is doable, if you are smart with the money you have.

Cut back on presents for the adults and focus on your children/grandchildren.

Cut back on the hosting, or ask guests to bring a dish to spread the load.

Get yourself over to the Xmas boards for bargain ideas for Xmas.

My top gift would be £100 all in for my children. Actual children. Not adult children. £50.00 on grandchildren.

Just read it back. Changing this year. Think will put charity gifts in all the stockings. My husband always asks for charity gifts and he gets me them but I'm sure the others would be happy to have less. Daughter quite broke so would be better to keep some to help her out later in the year as although we have gone stupid at Christmas I can see writing it down, which I haven't before that it would be better to do less at Christmas and give some financial help at other times.

We only buy for our own children and their cousins. Grandparents only buy for their DGC.

I budget £50 per child and £20 for the cousins.

We only buy for
Children
Grand children
Son in law
Each other
My mother and step dad
My brother

We stopped buying for DHs family and my sister and family and friends a few years back. Total budget of about £1200

I would get all the kids and grandkids and parents the rest isn’t as important.

Ditch the totally unnecessary 'token' gifts. Generally stuff that folk don't want or appreciate anyway. Buy decent presents for children & under 18 close family only, from your pretty decent budget. The rest can get a card, smile and a Happy Christmas. Card optional.

I really don't spend much on presents, currently the most is on my partner at about £50 as our child is still a baby. I spend about £30-40 on each of my parents and then most other people get a book - I know a lot of big readers so we all value this kind of gift which is happily both thoughtful and affordable. I spend about £320 for 22 people. This includes a few fiver gifts for friend's kids.

Our current big cost is travel and hotels at Christmas as one side of the family we can never stay over and have to also sort out all transport to and from house and meals (ill health) which gets very expensive. Other side are in the UK and can normally stay there but won't be able to this year. So I feel a lower present budget is fair enough.

Depends entirely on your view and your family but I like to make sure family members who I know won't get much in the way of attention otherwise get something.

Last year we got partner's mum an adopted donkey, which she loved. She's too ill to visit him but we are going to take the baby and send her the pics.

I think elderly relatives who live alone should be counted into the present buying.

You've only got three relatives to buy for, including your children, so although technically down the list, your elderly Aunt should be given special consideration, unless she has a really active social life etc and it doesn't matter to her.

We don't do Adult gifts, we have no elderly relatives left. I spend around £250 each on my two Grandchildren. Tgis year it's been partly for flights and hotel for a winter holiday. I buy all year round for them, as well, my DD is struggling. Her ex gives maintenance when it suits him.

I put £50 on her gas and buy 'the house' biscuits/chocolate etc.

Me and my youngest Adult DD who lives with me exchange about £40 gifts.

My youngest and eldest earn more than i do, as do many relatives and we're not people who do stuff, so present buying becomes a bit pointless.

We do a Christmas Market together and other Christmas days out instead.

Other people's Budgets are meaningless really - some go all out at Christmas and some spread it out over the year, some go into debt, some are loaded etc.

Same with families - I'm really close to my cousins and they are on the list but for others they just won't feature.

I agree with cutting down on crap.

This year we found an amazing local pottery place and the older ones are getting candle holders or vases from there.

£250 on grandchildren seems kind of excessive...

I wouldn't see it as a pecking order. I'd just spend a bit less on each person. It's important to deal with these issues head on - it can be a bit embarrassing to raise, but you often find people are actually grateful. We suggested a £20 cap on spending per person with BILs family when they were having building work done - they were really pleased that we had brought it up. And it was useful when we had our own extension done a couple of years later.

Surely with £1200 you can buy something for everyone if that’s what you want to do? £150 for your teens, £50 each for the grandkids (they must be young so £50 will go a long way), £20-30 on everyone else. You should still have loads left to spend on hosting, as long as your husband doesn’t have 12 brothers and sisters or something

Mine is:

My kids
Nieces/Nephews
Dh/me
Siblings
Parents
Extended family.