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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to just want my boobs back?

1 reply

surprisedbylife · 04/11/2019 09:56

I have a three-year-old son who was breastfed for the first 18 months of his life. But he's been off the boob for as long as he was on it. And yet he is still completely fascinated with my boobs! It began with him just kinda fondling them while he was sitting on the couch (instead of feeding, I'm guessing) and I just sort of thought it would stop but in the last few months it's gotten worse. He has gone from just absent-mindedly stroking them if we're cuddling to full-on demanding "boobies" at all times of the day and grabbing at them if I don't let him hold them. He won't go to sleep without having one in his hand and when I try to tell him to stop or bat his hand away and say "no", it provokes a full-on meltdown.
I don't know what to do. I know developmentally it's pretty normal and I know he's still really little and it has no sexual connotation to him but it just makes me uncomfortable, especially when he does it in public. Also, it hurts! He really needles in there and goes for the full-on nipple-tweak and he's strong!!!
AIBU to just want my boobs back? I'm a single parent so it's not like they're really sexual objects for anyone else either- but I'm getting to the point I'd like to start seeing someone again and maybe forming a relationship and I just can't detach from the fact my boobs are still purely my toddler's playthings! Anyone else been there? Is there a way to 'nip' this in the bud (pun intended) or should I just wait and let him grow out of it?

OP posts:
St0pTryingT0MakeFetchHappen · 04/11/2019 10:06

I stuffed a pillow up my jumper when I wanted to stop bf at 21 months. You are not at all unreasonable to have boundaries and part of his development is learning that other people have boundaries. So buckle up for tantrums, but gently saying "No, we don't do that any more" and removing the hand(s) is an appropriate response from you. If you want to incentivise it with a chart/marble jar/new cuddly toy, you know your child best.

I think you nees to be kind to yourself, and that includes having your own personal space.

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