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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to keep parking here?

50 replies

KanelbulleKing · 04/11/2019 08:26

DS's school has a huge carpark round the side and a tiny one at the front. The front one has been turned into a drop off route for the school buses and signs have gone up now forbidding cars from parking there.

I asked the school if I could continue to park there as I am disabled and have a blue badge. Headteacher said yes and was a bit embarrassed that they hadn't thought of this and said the signs would be changed to allow blue badge holders to park there. In the mean time I has to send in my reg number and a copy of my badge so she could notify the bus company that my car has permission to be there.

The week before half term one of the drivers had a right go at me for parking there. I told her that I had permission and showed her my badge but she wouldn't accept it and insisted I'm not allowed there. I double checked with the head and she confirmed I can and said she'd send a reminder to the bus company.

Since then the same bus driver is glaring and shaking her head at me every time she sees me parked there. I know I'm being soft but it's really upsetting me and I feel really intimidated by it.

AIBU to continue to park there? And if not, what should I do as the constant glaring is sending my anxiety through the roof. I don't want to be a pain for the school but at the same time I don't want to spend my whole day worrying about school pick up.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 04/11/2019 09:48

Give her a sunny smile and a wave every time you see her and complain to the bus company (get the registration of the bus she was driving on a particular day to help them identify her)

shearwater · 04/11/2019 10:01

I'd just ignore her and continue to park there. I wouldn't waste my energy writing to the bus company about it.

GruciusMalfoy · 04/11/2019 10:05

You've asked the head, and presumably aren't causing an obstruction? YANBU.

Storsteinen · 04/11/2019 10:11

I'd ring the bus company as others have suggested.

Original poster

KanelbulleKing · 04/11/2019 10:48

Thanks for all your advice. I'm going to get my support worker to ring the company direct when she comes tomorrow and ask them to remind this driver that I can park there. Hopefully that'll sort her out. If not then I'll move to plan B. I hope it won't come to that as I don't have a plan B.

OP posts:

Illberidingshotgun · 04/11/2019 10:54

Yes definitely complain to the company directly - if they have an issue with you parking there, then they need to take it up with the head, and not you. I would suggest though that you/your support worker contacts the company by email or another written method, rather than a 'phone call. Better to have written evidence of all that is said and agreed.

TreePeepingWatcher · 04/11/2019 11:03

Yes, complain to the bus company directly. If you can obtain a copy of the letter from the school stating you can park there all the better as that can be forwarded.

She is being a complete arse, she should complain to the school if she has an issue with it not give you the stink eye. But you have permission which the school would tell her.

If you are worried about making an actual phone call then email them instead.

BlastEndedSkrewt · 04/11/2019 11:03

can you park to the left of the green arrow therefore being completely out of the way from the buses but still near to the school?

Laiste · 04/11/2019 11:09

Can the buses get round you ok? It's a bit hard to tell from the pic.

Are they just having to steer a bit more to get round you or are they having to wait for your car to be gone to come through?

Perunatop · 04/11/2019 11:20

Ask the driver for their name and/or number. Then get a copy of the letter/email the head sent and make a complaint to the bus company enclosing head's letter and photo of your badge. It could be that managers have not told the driver but this should sort it out.

thenightsky · 04/11/2019 11:22

Not sure if I'm reading your map wrong, but it looks dangerous to have your child running between buses to reach your car. Are you sure you wouldn't be safer in the big car park? Maybe ask for a properly marked disabled slot right on the edge of the outdoor play area.

m0therofdragons · 04/11/2019 11:22

Are you using it as a drop off or are you parking and walking in. Maybe there's miscommunication? I'd think drop off in a drop off zone would be okay but blocking buses by parking isn't okay. I can't imagine you're the only disabled parent or child to attend the school.

Get clarity from head teacher and raise the issue re the driver.

ForalltheSaints · 04/11/2019 11:34

Assuming you really cannot park elsewhere or your child could not reasonably be expected to walk from school to somewhere you are parked, then the support worker intervention followed by contacting the bus company if needed seems the best course of action.

SoupDragon · 04/11/2019 11:45

it looks dangerous to have your child running between buses to reach your car.

Why would he be running between the buses?

crosspelican · 04/11/2019 11:52

I think that the school has put you in an impossible position. From your diagram, it seems obvious that the parking space you are using is obstructing the safe movement of the busses and that there should be no parking in that place.

However, the school, although it obviously knows this, is just hoping that this (i.e. you) will all go away if they leave nature to take its course. They should not have told you to continue parking there, but are unwilling to make adequate provision for disabled parking.

I would go back to the school NOT to complain about the bus drivers, because it doesn't look like they are at fault, but to complain that the school has removed their disabled parking provision and have not provided any alternative.

Put it on the SCHOOL not the bus driver.

None of this is your fault. It's the school leaving you high and dry.

crosspelican · 04/11/2019 11:53

Why would he be running between the buses?

Because they are coming in and dropping off children and he obviously has to cross either in front of or behind them to get to the school building from the car. There is a diagram.

SoupDragon · 04/11/2019 11:54

Because they are coming in and dropping off children and he obviously has to cross either in front of or behind them to get to the school building from the car. There is a diagram.

Yes, I know. That doesn't explain why he would be running between the buses. He is 6 and autistic. He'll be with his mother and being held.

KnickerBockerAndrew · 04/11/2019 12:01

This is one of those situations where you have to pretend to be a hard-faced no-nonsense kind of woman. (I am a softie and this would upset me too, so I do know where you're coming from!) Send the bus company an email and cc in the head. Be as formal as you can, and use straightforward and blunt language- "your driver of bus 5D persists in using intimidating gestures and body language towards users of the car park especially reserved for blue badge holders."

thisneverendingsummer · 04/11/2019 12:13

@KanelbulleKing Of COURSE YANBU!!!

Tell the head about this driver. They are being very rude.

Sorry you are having to tolerate this shit.

Laiste · 04/11/2019 12:17

''the car park especially reserved for blue badge holders.''

Trouble is the school hasn't especially reserved anything for blue badge holders. They forgot all about the BB holders and once reminded have told them to basically wing it as best they can in the bus area and stand up for themselves until the signs are sorted out. Even then it doesn't sound as if they will be marking out a specific safe area. This situation has risen from the lax attitude from the school.

OurChristmasMiracle · 04/11/2019 12:36

I think the reality is the school have messed up here. The signs say buses only still im guessing and the head has merely emailed the bus company with “please allow x to park too”

I’m sure you aren’t the only blue badge holder OP and really the school needs to be looking at finding suitable parking for blue badge holders not passing it off as “yep you can still park there” and hoping for the best.

DriftingLeaves · 04/11/2019 15:15

Schools have no obligation to provide parking for anyone. Badge holders or not.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/11/2019 16:32

Drifting
Exactly what I said. Bad though it is ... they do have to for pupils.

Beveren · 07/11/2019 06:59

Did the phone call work, OP? If not, your Plan B needs to be a formal letter to the bus company warning that their driver's action is clear harassment on the basis of disability and therefore in breach of the Equality Act 2010, and that you will have to take matters further if they don't sort her out.

JohnCRaven · 07/11/2019 07:03

YANBU but going back to the head won't have an effect. You're right your support worker needs to contact the bus company.

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