Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find a joint

39 replies

Toknowanything · 03/11/2019 23:40

what would you do if you found a rolled up joint sitting on the windowsill in your 16-year-old room?

OP posts:
MonChatEstMagnifique · 04/11/2019 10:59

Or the truth ?

The truth? The truth is no good comes of using them. I talk to my kids about everything, they also learn about drugs at school and have seen what they can do to people.

TheQueef · 04/11/2019 11:09

Sorry.

To find a joint
Purplelion · 04/11/2019 12:52

To be honest I wouldn’t be too bothered. There are far worse things a 16 year old could be doing.

m0therofdragons · 04/11/2019 12:59

Lots of very cool mnetters will say it's fine but I'd be really disappointed if my dc smoked anything and hate the smell of pot so no way would I find it acceptable. The stoners from school aren't the most happy or successful people I know so I'd not be so cool about it.

Toknowanything · 04/11/2019 13:36

I must admit I’m surprised everyone is so chilled about it.

There’s a split in the household; my partner thinks that I should ask her to smoke it off the premises. I think I should stop her leaving the premises only to go to college (which she’s dropped out of) and to work (if she bothers to get a job).

OP posts:
MaleficentsCrow · 04/11/2019 13:44

It's a class B drug and illegal at the end of the day, regardless of people's attitudes towards it.

Possession could get her in to a "bit of bother" with the police. All it would take is one jobs worth of a police officer and she'd have a criminal record.

I work in substance misuse with the homeless. I dont want to scare you but many of our drug users report weed as their first drug at ages 14-16 and sat Infront of me is then a 26 year old who smokes crack on a regular basis and is possibly a IV drug user.

Yes many go on to "grow up" and out of the phase, but her attitude of no school no work means she's heading down the path of drug dependency as all she seems to want to do is smoke weed in her bedroom.

You are the parent, do as you wish by all means, but it's not "un-cool" to stamp out illegal drug use under your roof. I'd say try and get her to engage in a drug programme but by the sounds of things that would be an absolute uphill battle for you if you even attempted, however something needs to be done, she can't just sit in her bedroom smoking weed all day, she's 16, that's no life.

Herbalteahippie · 04/11/2019 19:28

I’d have finished the joint and chat with says teen how the THC In weed causes mental health problems later in WHEN USED BEFORE THE AGE OF 25. Smoking weed as a teen is damaging. Please get them some good quality CBD oil capsules to take every day to counteract the damage caused by THC. They’re clearly into it and will not give up yet so damage control is important.
What about a CBD cape to help ween off the weed joints ?
Good luck x

FabbyChix · 04/11/2019 19:33

I’d smoke it

Toknowanything · 04/11/2019 19:49

@MaleficentsCrow

That’s my biggest fear that 10/20/30 years down the line it’s not just the occasional bit of puff.

Those who I went to school with none of the stoners have turned out successful (by any stretch of the imagination).

She said there was no point in me taking it as she can get more in less than 5 minutes?!

OP posts:
SuccessfulSmoker · 05/11/2019 08:41

That’s my biggest fear that 10/20/30 years down the line it’s not just the occasional bit of puff.

Don't worry about it, it's her life and if she wants to smoke weed she will do, you can only guide her.

Those who I went to school with none of the stoners have turned out successful (by any stretch of the imagination).

None of the "stoners" isn't the same as none of the "people who smoked weed", lots and lots of people do it a lot more discreetly than the visible stoners. Many people carry on smoking through life and lead very normal and successful lives/careers.
I'm 40 and use cannabis daily apart from breaks every few months for a couple of weeks.
This has largely been my pattern since I was your daughters age (although I have sometimes not done so regularly), I currently work in finance in a managerial roll, earn a very good salary, have a happy family and generally lead a full and varied life.

I'm not the exception either, the way I consume cannabis is very much the rule for people above college age. Obviously it is more visible when people are doing it on the street and these people are generally not how you might wish your daughter to grow up but that's just the visible image and the image the media might like to portray. The majority of over 25 year old smokers do it behind closed doors, occasionally in the park or whatever or even they do it out in the street but you would never in a million years guess that they were as they will make sure there isn't the smell etc.

Basically, don't worry about her so much. She shouldn't be smoking at that age as it isn't good for her developing brain but she's going to do it and she will definitely get some more in 5 minutes if she wants. There are some useful ideas above about giving CDB supplements as this helps to counteract the THC, basically the best you can do is educate yourself about Cannabis and then educate your daughter.

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 05/11/2019 08:46

I would not be chilled about it at all

I know too many stones who ended up flinging out (of college), triggered schizophrenia in one friend, depression in another

On top of that it is much stronger these days.

I know too many kids who started drug dealing to fund their habit, getting in with gangs/county lines in one case

I really do not get the relaxed attitude of some parents

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 05/11/2019 08:49

Ah, she already dropped out of college...

Where does she find the money?

MonChatEstMagnifique · 05/11/2019 08:55

Don't worry about it, it's her life and if she wants to smoke weed she will do, you can only guide her.

Ridiculous. Any parent who has a teen who is smoking weed alone in their room and has dropped out of college should be worried about their child.

I agree that we can only guide our children but if this was my child I would be 'guiding' them very strongly and putting consequences in place.

I think I'm a pretty relaxed parent but if OP lets her child drift, not attend college, not work and smoke weed, things are not going to end well. Like I say, im quite a relaxed parent in many ways, we don't have loads of rules but I really can't stand the 'I'm so cool about drugs' attitude. Also my experience of people who smoke weed into adulthood is that they think it's normal, under control, they're coping etc. When you look a little closer, that's not the case at all. As for thinking people can't tell that you smoke weed, they can.

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 05/11/2019 10:56

Yes, one of my colleagues got fired last year for being high in the office (in client meeting)

She was very confident she could hide it well Confused

New posts on this thread. Refresh page