Now I am being nervous about moving away permanently?

[SummerBreezeAutumnLeaves]

Also a AIBU to want to move due to the reasons I've listed below or am I being a bit of a pansy?!

After many, many years of being in the same town, feeling fed up of actually being here (because we are both unhappy here), my husband and I have worked hard to get out and we've finally managed to secure a job 5 hours away from where we live and the move will be happening in the next 4-6 weeks. We have already started looking for houses via letting agencies and start saving for a mortgage. The only downside is that we will have to give up our council house, which I understand we will never be able to get back but on the flip side, I'd rather do that than stay here any longer because I really could do with a fresh start. The area we live in is rough and it is getting worse. Nothing ever changes, there's nothing to do here, nothing to look forward to. We've tried to enjoy it but the only way we will be happy is by moving out completely and I don't want my child growing up here.

I want what's best for our future and that's why I am taking the plunge. The problem is now it is actually happening, I am TERRIFIED! I've never moved this far out before! I will be coming back down once a month to see a couple of my family members so I am not saying goodbye forever!

Can I ask if anybody here has moved completely out of their hometown/county and how did you find the move? My toddler is only 3 so we are definitely wanting to settle before he goes to school. I am already an isolated parent so I will not be missing "friends" as I don't even have any (only one, who is childless and still having the time of her life) so moving will be a chance to make new ones. Thank you in advance. Xxx

Bumping...

I moved a 4 hour drive away from where I’d grown up in my early twenties to live with a friend and it was the best thing I could’ve done! Slightly different situation and reasoning to you, but if anything it sounds like you have even more reason to go for it!

Change can be scary but at the end of the day, what’s to stop you moving back after a year if it doesn’t work out?

Yep, I moved 5 hours away from my hometown last year. I was also petrified. If I’m honest it look a long time to settle (and if I’m honest it was really hard as I was less keen on the idea than my husband) but 18 months on I feel like I’m finally getting there - getting a bit more involved in local activities, happier in my job and definitely seeing the benefits of the place we chose to move to. I still go home to see friends and family so that side of things has been fine.

We moved from a shit town in the Midlands to a lovely bit of Scotland and it was one of the best things we ever did. But neither of us were from said shit town originally which probably helped!

I moved around a lot growing up so have always scratched my head a bit at people who think it's weird not to stay in one place your whole life. I'd hate to live somewhere I was constantly bumping into people I'd been at school with in Tescos.

Despite having lived in different countries and also towns within the UK I totally get this! For me it's been since I have had children I am now nervous about making decisions that affect other people as well as my and DH. I'm always thinking about moving out of London (a place that I actually really like too!) to a town only an hour away where I have even lived before and even that makes me nervous. So I totally get where you're coming from.

The thing is it is a great thing to do though. It doesnt sound like you're happy where you are and it is understandable to be nervous about doing new things. Take a big gulp and enjoy it, new places, new people, a chance to make new friends and reinvent yourself if you wish. If you really don't like it you can always come back. But I think give it a year or more and you will think it is a great move. I always think that if we spend our whole lives in one place it's only one life lived rather than all the different places we could have tried out.

Thank you everyone. I get that I am going to be nervous and a little bit withdrawn but like you all said it takes time and it is a new adventure which I'm looking forward to very much. I just want a fresh start and create a new identity of myself and just start all over again really. Wipe the slate clean!

Understandable to have cold feet — you haven’t done it before. I’ve moved around in several different places within five countries on three continents, but I’m about to move internationally again, and for the first time with my child. And I do have cold feet because of him.

Good luck, OP!