To think we can’t have a lodger

[Umaaaar]

We are a bit broke and PIL have suggested we get a lodger.

I just think we can’t.

For one thing, dh would want family time in the evening so lodger would be condoned to his or her room. This room is at the top of the house where WiFi is intermittent.

Dh would also gripe and moan about stuff like lights left on and have the house cold.

AIBU or is it a disaster waiting to happen

It doesnt sound a great idea, I wouldnt want to be a lodger in those circumstances. Can either of you increase work hours instead.

Have you considered a Monday to Friday lodger? A professional individual who works in your city / town?

I had a bloke from Wales lodge with me on this basis. I live in North Buckinghamshire and he worked for a big organisation here and went back home to his wife and kids at a weekend.

He'd arrive on a Monday night and leave on a Friday morning.

He was a perfect lodger in lots of ways, despite having full use of the facilities, he had breakfast at work, he took his work clothes home to wash at weekends, showered at the gym and tended to stay in his room of an evening Skype-ing his wife and kids.

You could get a wireless extender to improve the signal in the loft. You'd need to be really clear what the expectations were re. communal spaces such as the kitchen, bathroom and living room. It's okay to say that the living room isn't communal, provided there's somewhere else for the lodger to watch TV, sit on a sofa etc.

But also, DH would have to respect the fact that a paying lodger is entitled to leave lights on and have the heating on, and remember that his rent will be more than covering whatever he's using.

I did the Monday to Friday thing for 15 months and it was brilliant. I had an en-suite room which had an armchair so it was fine to spend four evenings a week there. No access to their WiFi so I used my phone as a hotspot. I paid £500 a month for that. I definitely wouldn’t have stayed there if it was cold, though.

Where was it? London surely?

Reading.

WiFi extender for the top floor and lodgers typically only have use of their room, the kitchen and the bathroom. Not communal areas as they’re not a housemate.

If dh doesn't want a lodger he can suggest an alternative way to make extra money.

Are there any universities near you? They often have foreign exchange students who come for 3 weeks - 3 months and need accommodation. The students are out all day at lectures and on day trips, you have to provide breakfast (and there is the option of dinner/full board which they pay you more for). It's very very easy money.

Are you sure it wouldn't be easier to LTB he sounds annoying with his griping and moaning and insisting on having the house cold.

I did mon to fri in a few locations. Tended to work lateish, often ate at work and spent evenings out or in my room.

That said the rooms I took were advertised as conventional full time lodgings so I paid the full weekly (7 day) rate and sometimes was there longer than mon to fri - for instance I might arrive back on sunday evening rather than monday after work, other times I'd nkt leave until saturday and even stay weekends sometimes. All due to work commitments. So that might be a conversation you would need to have with prospective lodgers.

You didn't say if you wanted to have a lodger?

I've also lodged but honestly wouldn't take a residence with young children or without cracking good WiFi or with anyone who made a lot of really restrictive rules about water/heating/lights. I was paying a market rate for my space with own bathroom and anyone who gave off a vibe that they were doing me a big favour by taking my money to rent space I quickly marked off.

Your H would be awful with a lodger. Sorry, but you need another alternative.

It's a horrible idea and you know it.

My mum used to take in foreign students for a few weeks at a time as a host family.

Sounds like it might be easier to live with a lodger than with your dh tbh.

You can't have a lodger if your DH behaves like that
Having a lodger does mean your house is no longer all your own and must be up to normal standards too

I lodged many years ago as a postgrad with 2 families

Plentiful hot water and good heating are essential
I wouldn't have tolerated being nagged about lights
Nowadays, good wifi is essential too
I always had access to the lounge, same as the family, but if the bedroom has a TV that's probably not necessary

It's doable, but you just need to be realistic. How much do you need the money?

You can set clear expectations re use of communal areas. You would need to allow them to use lights as necessary and have a warm room.

WiFi extenders are cheap!