To have told the truth? (Long sorry)

[narcdad45]

Name changed but long time poster.

My mum died suddenly and unexpectedly this year. She lived with my dad but they have been divorced since I was 2 (I'm now early 40's).

I believe my dad is a narcissist, he abused my mum, my brother and me physically, emotionally and financially for years. When I moved out around 20 years ago our relationship was "ok" but that's a whole other thread!

So my AIBU is..... when we went to register mums death, the registrar asked mums marital status. Dad said married I said divorced which is the truth.

Dad asked if I "wanted to do this to him" but I said it's the truth and it's a legal document. Registrar stated it has to be what is factually correct which is divorced.

A few months have passed and my dad has told my mums niece (who I am very close to) that he has another son and my brother and I will get a shock when it comes to his will.

This is his "punishment" as he feels I've done him wrong but was I BU?

OP until you find out whether it was joint tenancy or tenant in common, you can't know if he has acted unlawfully as inheritance is dealt with differently depending on which it is

@clutchingon unfortunately not, mum took the document which she took from dads secret suitcase to a solicitor outside of London a few years ago. She went with her twin sister and had a solicitor look over it, they confirmed it was tenants in common so mum felt safe in that knowledge.

She returned the document to the briefcase and then it disappeared when she tried to find it again.

When we came out of the registry office I said to my dad, I'm sorry if that hurt you dad, but it's a legal document and the fact was you were divorced, his reply was that he didn't want to "start a family war". I was so supportive of him the few months after mum died and still continued to be supportive, sorry for waffling on, I just feel so desolate.

I will seek both legal advice and therapy. Thank you all

There will be a copy of that document somewhere in a lawyer's office

Phone the land registry. If the property was registered back when your mum went to see the solicitor they will still have a record of the restriction from that time. Why did your mum go to see a solicitor in the first place? Was she nervous of your dad's intentions? Did she want it to be tenants in common? Are you sure she didn't leave a will?. I would have thought that a lawyer would have advised her to make one if holding the property as tenants in common was important to her?

Did your mum discuss the house with you / her sister? It's all relevant.

I think you may need to see a solicitor to be honest. You may decide to do nothing but at least you will have a clearer idea of what has happened and if there has been a fraud you do need to move quickly to protect the asset.

Definitely no will, I called land registry and they confirmed it was joint tenants at the time of purchase over 25 years ago, I got a free 30 minute consult with a solicitor and they confirmed that the deeds had been changed into dads name and there was no restrictions, so legally it's all gone to my dad. The house is worth over £500k and mum was living in a shit hole, but since she's died the house has all been refurbished. All her things are gone.

As much as I hate him I'd never have forced him to sell but now I think how silly I've been, mum was so scared of him but never had the courage to leave.

You need to find the solicitor your mum went to see. You are her next of kin (and presumably dealing with probate). Will your aunt know who it was? They will let you see the file on that basis I suspect. If they advised on the document they will have almost certainly taken a copy. Land registry is not definitive. You don't have to register a restriction, it's for your own protection as you would have had comeback against the land registry if it was registered.

Did your mum tell you it was tenants in common? Did your mum tell you about the half brother?

You need to try and get this info as even if you do nothing now it may help you in challenging your dads will in due course.

Mum never mentioned a half brother, her twin also said she never knew as my mum would have told her, they were very very close. She is as shocked as me. Mum and her twin (who I am very close with) both said tenants in common.

I'm booking to see a solicitor for this week, I've been scared to do it for some reason. Dad said not to do probate as it takes years and years, then suddenly he says you can apply for probable now, so by that time he'd changed the deeds.

I don't understand why your mum didn't leave a will if she went to the bother of checking the property was tic. It's a great shame as it would have made her intentions clear. Is there any correspondence?

I would make tracking down the solicitor your mum originally saw your priority. Your solicitor won't be able to advise you properly without that information. Your aunt needs to make a statement too.

@clutchingon I think mum was so brainwashed by him, she did make an appointment with a solicitor to get a will but cancelled it for some reason.

Thank you for all your advice, I will seek legal advice and also speak with her twin. Mum didn't know she was going to die so soon, she was not unwell and had a holiday planned with her twin, she went into hospital with suspected gallbladder and died of liver cancer 10 days later, it was all so unexpected.

I'm so sorry for you loss. I lost my mum in September and it is so very hard. Xx

@clutchingon thank you, sorry for your loss too, losing a mum is just devastating