To be so sad it isn’t me

[Starryskyatnight]

Logged onto Facebook and have seen so many photos of my friends with their children this weekend.

Mostly I’m OK with it but for some reason it’s just really got to me now.

AIBU to have a bit of a cry?

Don't take what you see on FB as anything to be envious of - people appear to be happy and perfect but it's mainly for show.
You can have a cry though and I am sending a hug.

What fishcake said ^

My sis actually did her dissertation on how much people post a false impression of how wonderful their lives are when in reality they probably are also having a cry about something else! They could be looking at your profile and wishing they were as young / slim / pretty / successful / 'happy' /child free as you appear to be!

I am very lucky to have my DD (numerous health issues amazed she's here), but I know I also look at my friends who are able to sleep for a solid 8 hrs, who have time for self-care, who can go for dinner last minute, who can go to a hotel room and not be sitting in the dark by 8pm... and sigh wistfully.

This being said its perfectly OK to have a wee cry about the things you wish you had, sending big hugs too

Thanks - there’s honestly NOTHING about my life that’s enviable!

I was at an attraction today and all I heard was parents shouting at children. It ruined it if I’m honest.

I feel the same way every Sunday as it's the only day I dont work it's so lonely one day 💓

@Starryskyatnight I feel the same you’re not alone. I’ve muted so many people on social media. It isn’t easy. I often wish things were different

I'm sorry you feel like this. I left fb for 9 months, as looking at people's exaggerated pics/statuses made me feel sad! I felt great when I left. Now I'm back on it, I only check it a couple of times a week. Leaving it gave me a sense of perspective. Peoples statuses no longer affect me.

You're not being unreasonable. They have something that you want. You are allowed to feel upset about that.

I’ve always thought that people who over-post about their great lives are somewhat unhappy 🤷‍♀️ I don’t trust social media facades at all.
for OP and everyone feeling a little gloomy this evening. It’s the weather and the early evenings - make them cozy with some wooly garments and hot chocolate.

It's completely understandable to be upset about something that has a personal significance to you. So don't feel bad for that.

However, do take time to remember that photos are simply a snapshot of the day. What wasn't captured in the photographs was perhaps the blazing argument that happened in the morning. The child who smashed their breakfast all over the floor. The tantrum in the car. Etc.

Everyone has things in their life that are enviable. Whether it's kids, a job, a house, living in a certain area/city, being good at a particular hobby, a relationship, familial relationships, someone's personality, someone's pets... I guarantee someone will look at your life and wish they had part of it.

It's still okay to be upset, though. Be kind to yourself tonight- chocolate, a nice bubble bath and a film you love :)

my friend posts lovely photo's of her and her family having amazing holidays and days out, then she tells me what was really going on in the background... don't trust social media!

Faceshite is a load of crap. Staged photos. You can’t hear the whining children or the winging husband or see the overdrawn bank balance or the shouting matches and crying in the evening. Forget it.

I just don’t understand why anyone bothers with face book. It’s a load of crap. Delete it and move on.

I can see what everyone's saying on here about what goes on in the background

But I still find it very hard to look at Facebook and not feel that everyone's lives are good etc etc

I think people focused too much on the FB thing. The fact is whether they’re posting about it or not my life is empty

That may be how you feel currently (OP and others sharing), but many people have gone on to have happy, productive lives without children/high flying careers/other stuff.

Could you take time to make peace with the fact that you won’t have XYZ in your life, and turn a page to focus on new things and dedicate yourself to a cause, hobby or other pursuits?

'What wasn't captured in the photographs was perhaps the blazing argument that happened in the morning. The child who smashed their breakfast all over the floor. The tantrum in the car. Etc.'

The thing is, if you want children and you don't have them you want all of it. Even the smashed breakfasts and tantrums.

Is it empty because you don't have children? Is it out of the question that you ever will?

Are there any steps that you can take so the sadness isn't as great?

The pictures are going to be constant over Christmas.

The thing is, if you want children and you don't have them you want all of it. Even the smashed breakfasts and tantrums.

Exactly.

Sorry you’re in this position op. It’s hard.

What can you do to change things then ?
Could you look at adoption or becoming a foster carer ? Could you change jobs, take up a new hobby, meet new people ?
It is in your hands to some extent so onward and upward x