To think it's reasonable to want some time at home at the weekend to do things around the house?

[wintertime6]

DH always wants to be out doing things at the weekend, and it's starting to do my head in! He gets really annoyed if I want to have a couple of hours to do things around the house and thinks we're wasting the weekend. We have 2 toddlers and they need to get out too, but I don't think we need to be out doing things for the whole weekend?!

Today we were out for a walk and to the park this morning for a couple of hours and then home for lunch and for the youngest to have a nap. When youngest woke up, DH wants to know where we're going now and I just wanted to get some washing done, put the laundry away, tidy up the kitchen, think about what we're doing for dinner etc. DH thinks that's equates to wasting the weekend but I don't know when else it's going to get done and I just want to catch up with myself so I'm starting off at least a little bit organised for the next week.

It's hard taking both kids out on your own as they're very young and they'll run off different directions, so it's not easy for him to take them out himself and leave me at home for an hour or two.

Just need a moan, getting stuff sorted out round the house makes me feel more organised and my head a bit clearer, but DH just thinks I'm making everyone waste family time at the weekend. I'm not talking about staying in all weekend, just a couple of hours to get stuff done.

I work too, part-time and I have 2 days off during the week with the kids, but I get minimal housework stuff done in those 2 days apart from a few loads of washing and tidying up the kitchen after meals.

It's not even solely about the housework, I think it's also about having a couple of hours to yourself, without running after 2 toddlers, and just pottering around the house and getting stuff sorted out for the week ahead.

Overall I feel our division of duties works well. DH enjoys cooking so does the majority of cooking (and quite often the tidying up after meals too), and I do most of the washing and cleaning which I prefer to do. So it's not like he's leaving everything up to me, it's just this incessant need to be out doing family things for the entire weekend that annoys me, when I could do with a little downtime for myself at the weekend.

It’s not a “need” he has, it’s a preference. Your needs and wishes are as important as his.

How old are the toddlers? Some down time for them is good as well. We tend to have busy mornings and then more chilled afternoons. I’ve also found divide and rule works best for us. One child at a time seems like a break compared to two. Age 3 seems to be the magic number for activities when they can start to go for independent classes. I take child number 1 out on Saturday morning and my husband takes her out on Sunday morning. We both then get 45 mins of peace while she’s doing the activity and then the parent at home normally gets a nap with child no.2 to do stuff or relax.

I find this too also. It has just been half term and he wanted to go away. Which is fine, but then there was no time for anything else and we ended up being out all the time. All the packing and unpacking etc. Had to give my son a bath early this morning before school as we got back late yesterday, and had to rummage about for something for the packed lunch...it is such easier to get on with stuff when you are alone sometimes and I find it a bit full on all together all the time. But he gets sad and feels I don't want to be with him- it is not that it is just practicalities really.

Or that the men are not doing their fair share of domestic work and “mental load”!