AIBU to get drunk without him?

[trixiepixi]

I'll be name changing after this.

My partner is at university and we see each other every other weekend. I live at home with his parents and my son in the town that we both grew up in.

I went clubbing in town last night with the friends that we share, I got more drunk than I usually would and more drunk than I had intended to. I left 2.5 hours early because I wasn't enjoying myself.

My partner has been very off with me today and I told him about something I did last night that I thought was funny, he told me that it wasn't funny and that it was weird. I asked him what was wrong and he sent the following texts:

just you had the desire to get most drunk and have a better time when I wasn’t with you. You say you don’t really enjoy town and don’t get drunk drunk, so every time I’ve been with you in town you’ve got a little drunk, then when I’m not there you got smashed, because you were having a *better time or had the mentality of wanting a better time

it’s come from every time we’ve been town together as a couple it’s been a case of you being undecided, not sure if you want to go and not being arsed about it, but you were more motivated for town and getting smashed than you have been since we’ve been together*

I'm usually ambivalent when it comes to town but I go because I usually enjoy it once I'm there, I even told him before I went that I wasn't really in the mood to.

AIBU to get more drunk without him than I do with him there? I didn't get more drunk for any particular reason, I hadn't eaten much so I think that maybe that's why. I've never said that I don't enjoy town.

YANBU. He, on the other hand, sounds like a jealous, controlling arsehole.

Poor little man child is jealous that you go out and enjoy yourself without him. And then sulks and sends detailed texts of your 'crime'. Get rid.

Thank you for responding. I'm not sure how to solve this

Tell him to grow up, you're allowed to have a life when he isn't around?

Fuck that for a game of soldiers OP. Dump and move on.

What a twat.

Is this how you want your life to be? Constantly questioning and double guessing your actions, in case DP irrationally objects?

He’s a twat. Who even keeps a record of how drunk someone else has got on particular outings and who they were with?
He’s jealous, pure and simple.

I'm not sure this is about how you're phrasing it op. It sounds like he is saying you never really want to go out with him and never wish to party, but when he's not there that's exactly what you want to do.

So he's feeling rejected. You don't want to have fun with him, but you do your mates. And I'm assuming you're both young and his social life is his weekends with you, where you're never in the mood.

So I don't think this is as simple as how drunk you get, but more he comes home to someone who tells him they can't be arsed. And then goes out and doesn't let their hair down. But when he's not home it looks to him like you're right in there getting stuck in.

It's a communication issue and a failure to understand each other position

Jealous and pompous. Such attractive qualities

My resolution would be to tell him he's being a pompous arse.

Did he want you to say you went home early because you missed him or something?!

I’m in a bad mood today so maybe I’m being harsh but he sounds like a dick.

Bluntness it must have been how I was phrasing it. We have the same friends and go out in the same group that I went out with yesterday. I'm never overly bothered about going out in town whether he's there or not, but we always have fun once we're there. He has a social life aside from me.

I definitely let my hair down when I'm out with him, I genuinely act no different with or without it him. In fact, I prefer it with him there, which probably contributed to why I left earlier than usual.

YANBU but I suspect living with HIS parents is creating a really weird dynamic

lastqueen it is somewhat odd, but not as odd as I thought it would be.

He does come across as being a twat BUT giving him the benefit of the doubt and he's just feeling insecure, then I would explain that you really didn't go out intending to get drunk but BECAUSE he wasn't there you needed a bit more dutch courage to help you socialise, and you went too far. Then offer some reassurance. I think funny stories from when you are drunk always seem a lot more hilarious to you than to anyone who wasn't there.