DB and I have always got on well, and I’ve been proud to call him my brother. He works hard, he married a lovely woman and they have wonderful kids.
However, it’s come to light that he’s not been faithful, and he’s even fathered at least one other child. DB and SIL are in the process of splitting up - I’ve told him exactly what I think of his behaviour and quietly offered support to SIL. He is moving away from his kids so won’t be able to co-parent; he’s going to be Disney dad at best. He doesn’t see the other child either.
I’m disproportionately upset by all of this, and I need some wise words to get a grip. The workings of their marriage are not my business, but I cannot get my head around him being the kind of person that walks away from his children. This is possibly connected with me being unable to have kids, and so a sensitive topic for me.
He’s not only lied to SIL, but to me and our parents. Is it normal to feel almost like grieving that he isn’t the person (devoted dad) we thought he was? I get massive anxiety every time he messages me, and I’m trying to find a way of dealing with it.