To say no to this request?

[rubybambini]

My Norwegian friend has recently visited us in London with her teenage 17 year old daughters. My friend has just asked if her daughters can visit for a few days, without her, next February, with two of their teenage friends as well. Help. I don’t think I want this (added responsibility on my part, cramped living, I work full-time...).

AIBU to say no to all four of them?

Having been in this position before, I said that I’d be happy to meet them in the first day or so, help them with whatever they wanted to know (Oyster cards or whatever), and here’s my number if there’s an emergency. If I was being very generous, and it wasn’t a work day, I’d meet them at the airport and walk them through getting to the hotel.

I’d say yes so long as I could lay down ground rules with mum that I won’t be responsible for their coming and goings/what they get up to/what they drink etc and that I won’t be making them a meal every night.
Explain you will be at work and will need to be able to sleep so no late entries or noisy nights etc. It’s fine to say you would be anxious about the responsibility and risk of them staying out all night etc (blame it on the friends not the daughters you actually know!)

You could then say ‘are you sure they wouldn’t rather stay in a youth hostel as London has some great ones’

They might be great kids who won’t take the piss and actually want to genuinely sightsee and not to go all night raves etc.

Send them a link to YHA. Four teen is taking the piss. Why on earth would you??

17 is still a vulnerable age, I wouldn't want them going to a Hostel, and I hate to say it, but they usually have well behaved DCs in Norway. Still you have met them, and can make your own judgement there?. I'm sure it wouldn't be a surprise to them if you said no, and certainly you shouldn't feel bad if that is what you decide. Having not met their friends, is also an issue, could you chat to them all using a web-cam?
What ever you decide, the suggestions above are brilliant if you cant be doing with it.

That's definitely a cheeky request, glad you've seen sense OP!

I would say a very clear no. I don't think you need to give a reason.

I'd probably go with 'That's just not possible.' I hope you can find something else that works out for them all.

By the same token I would never expect a friend in a foreign country to look after my kids and their teenage friends.

I would say yes to the daughters but having the 2 friends as well is too much.

No no no no no!!!! So you'd be out of work with 4 17 year olds I your home. No way!

4 teens are literally my idea of hell - most of them are shockers!!! Lock up your food, say goodbye to a decent energy bill and book cleaners in for a month! oh and you'll be their personal uber too.

Nightmare! Just say no.

It's fine to say no. I don't think there is anything wrong with your friend asking - my bet is that others have asked the same of her with their older teens. I certainly remember my parents putting up various overseas cousins and their friends to stay when they were on gap years and holidays, and I'm sure it would have been reciprocated had I wanted to travel.

It would be nice if you could offer to do some sight seeing with them one day or send them some recommendations, but you don't need to.

Well if you don’t want to, just say no. Say you wouldn’t be comfortable leaving guests that young, in your house.

However if it’s just for a couple of nights I personally wouldn’t be worried and I wouldn’t feel responsible for them.Clearly it’s just free accommodation rather than someone looking out for them. I’d say they could stay as long as they were happy buying their own food.

I think asking anyone to accommodate four people is really cheeky tbh, if she had asked just for her DDs you could understand it. Definitely point them in the direction of a hostel.

That’s a lot of teens. You’re working. I do think 17 is fairly young to be by themselves in a foreign country if they got into difficulty. I’d maybe offer to have them over for dinner one night and be an emergency contact.

Thanks all - I wrote to say I hated saying no, but I wasn’t comfortable with all four of them, but happy to help find accommodation, be emergency contact, take them for dinner etc. The two girls are nice enough, but they did need a lot of help from their mum (my friend) this last visit. Plus it’s half-term in Feb, so I don’t want to commit ‘til our own plans are settled. PLUS 2019 has been horrible, so have also resolved to try to keep 2020 as easy as possible (when it’s something I can control at least!).