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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how often you DTD when TTC

56 replies

GaaaaarlicBread · 02/11/2019 22:04

Just that really !
Currently TTC baby number one. On month one after first AF post coil removal .
Dtd every 2-3 days , is that enough? Not using OPKs due to stress lol

OP posts:
Kelsoid · 03/11/2019 06:30

Every other day - BUT we were following the SMEP plan, worked the first month we tried after being unsuccessful for three months prior. Maybe coincidence, but I'd certainly look into it!

mindutopia · 03/11/2019 07:19

About 2-3 times a month all three times, got pregnant in the first month or two every time.

EmrysAtticus · 03/11/2019 07:26

Every couple of days but on our successful cycle we dtd twice on the day I ovulated.

BertieBotts · 03/11/2019 07:26

That's fine - you only need to do it once in the fertile window for it to happen :) It's most common for it to take 3-4 months, and second most common for it to take 1-8 months.

If you've reached the fertile window, you have about a 20-25% chance to conceive each cycle depending on your ages.

When you say every 2-3 days is that all month or just when you think the FW is?

Original poster
GaaaaarlicBread · 03/11/2019 07:31

Thanks everyone !

@bertiebotts thank you 🙂 no it’s all month , not just when I think it’s FW. Last month was a hit and miss as I didn’t know my cycle due to my coil so we kind of knew it wouldn’t work out , and we didn’t DTD as much due to DH shifts at the time . But this month we are aiming 2-3 days until period is due , and so on. Wasn’t sure if that was enough as I’d read online people do it every day but that’s just not workable for us , DH would be knackered 😂
I’m not tracking anything other than keeping an eye on CM because I tired clear blue OPK last month and DH found it a bit too much pressure which I totally understand .

OP posts:
Original poster
GaaaaarlicBread · 03/11/2019 07:32

@BertieBotts I don’t mean just 2-3 days before period by the way , I mean literally every 2-3 days and then if AF shows up, start as soon as it stops and then carry on as we were lol

OP posts:
Howzaboutye · 03/11/2019 07:35

Key thing is ovulation. If there's no sperm hanging around when you ovulate then it just won't happen I'm afraid.
Try doing the ovulation pee sticks from 8 days after your period. As some women ovulate from day 10, rather than day 14.

crispysausagerolls · 03/11/2019 07:36

DH and I did it every single day from the day period finished until when ovulation was predicated on period app (usually a few days after to be safe).

Conceived first child in 2 months and second in 1.

I just think the more sperm the better 😬

Pinkandbluecandyfloss · 03/11/2019 12:00

The amount of times you dtd doesn't matter. You only need to do it once a month, but it must be at right time - just before ovulation.

Whatsername7 · 03/11/2019 12:23

Every other day. Every day. Twice a day. I tried it all and with dd2 it took months. The hardest part was, after several months of disappointment, pretending it was spontaneous 'because im horny' sex so dh didnt get performance anxiety and fail to 'deliver' at the last moment. TTC sex is the worst! Good luck to you. Flowers

crispysausagerolls · 03/11/2019 17:35

pinkandblue

Sure but the best way of making sure you are doing it at the right time is to do it as much as possible!

Mjlp · 04/11/2019 08:24

@crispysausagerolls

It takes 48 hours for sperm to replenish. If you're dtd more than every 48 hours the quality of the sperm will be low & so you'll be less likely to conceive. Basic science Hmm

Pinkandbluecandyfloss · 04/11/2019 09:57

Scientifically, the best way to make sure you're doing it at the right time would be to check for ovulation with a bascal body thermometer.

Pinkandbluecandyfloss · 04/11/2019 10:02

... Not just do it as much as possible @crispysausagerolls. Like @mjlp said, that would just decrease the quality of sperm if it's too much.

Waiting4Sprogo · 04/11/2019 10:02

It took me and dh nearly 2 years but we’d been a bit too relaxed about it, taking a “it’s bound to happen” approach. When we started taking it v.seriously, I got pregnant quickly. Over those 2 years, I learnt that your most fertile window is the week immediately after the end of your period. I thought you ovulated 2 weeks after your period started so kept missing the moment. Let’s say your period is from Mon-Fri, start trying immediately from Saturday. The week we conceived, we were going at it 2-3 times a day (seriously, dh set alarms. So hot! 😂) Once that week was up, we cooled our jets. Also, after you dtd, put a pillow or cushion under your bum to elevate your hips to keep the sperm in. Good luck!

Whattodoabout · 04/11/2019 10:04

If you DTD every other day you stand yourself in good stead not to miss the fertile days. Some recommend every day during your fertile week but it isn’t necessary, every other day is sufficient. Sperm can live up to 72 hours during the fertile period.

Whattodoabout · 04/11/2019 10:05

put a pillow or cushion under your bum to elevate your hips to keep the sperm in

This does not work.

Original poster
GaaaaarlicBread · 04/11/2019 19:42

@Howzaboutye I don't want to use OPK's as I don't want the stress of them. I did them last month, and DH didn't feel comfortable knowing I was doing them as he felt a bit like it was all 'planned' which I know it is but he didn't like the feeling of knowing we were 'baby dancing' as people call it, rather than the usual making love, ya know. Which I understand. So I wouldn't want to do them as I know I will work myself up.

@Whatsername7 I totally get that! DH told me that is why he doesn't like knowing if I am ovulating as he gets anxiety and can't...finish

I think I ovulated yesterday (EWCM) and we DTD two days in a row which we don't usually do as I know people say about the sperm quality, so as we are aiming 2-3 days throughout my cycle that was more than usual. @crispysausagerolls DH really isn't up for sex every day lol, which was my initial panic about 2-3 days not being enough.

@Whattodoabout That is great thank you, so there is bound to be some little guys up there if we have done it enough!! Thank you for addressing the pillow thing as so many people say on here about keeping legs up etc but if I don't wee post sex I get UTI's and my GP told me it is BS about laying down etc, she says the strong guys should be up there already by the time you get up to pee

OP posts:
LonelyBones · 04/11/2019 19:49

Every other day, with plenty of Fertility Plus super lube.

Fell pregnant the first month we started using it, then amazon sent me an email asking for my thoughts and a review 😂

beadybear · 04/11/2019 19:57

What does DTD actually stand for? I can't find the answer😂

Original poster
GaaaaarlicBread · 04/11/2019 20:08

@beadybear Sorry! It means doing the deed

@LonelyBones Thank you :)

OP posts:
Witchinaditch · 04/11/2019 20:10

Got pregnant first month both times. Time 1 we dtd every other day for a month.. second time every day of fertile week.

Justneedatemporaryname · 04/11/2019 20:12

YABU
There's a conception topic for this

JessicaRarebit · 04/11/2019 20:12

I got pregnant over the new year, we dtd every day; sometimes more than once a day. We’d had two weeks apart so had some catching up to do. I don’t think that’s recommended though.

doublebarrellednurse · 04/11/2019 20:12

Well we were pretty much 4 times a week for the first 6 months. 3 months later it had slowed a lot. The month we fell pregnant it was the only time we had sex 🤷🏻‍♀️