4 year old left to peel potatoes

[theoriginaltms]

My DD is 4, just collected her from MIL house where she slept last night. She wasn't home and was at SIL house which is next door. Went inside they say she hasn't had dinner yet we're just cooking it egg and chips. Then SIL start telling me my daughter peeled the potatoes all by herself with a potato peeler, I say to my daughter are they just having you here to do the jobs they don't want to do. They laugh and MIL says well last time she stayed she peeled my potatoes carrots and parsnips she enjoyed it by the time I came back in from hoovering or what ever it was she was pre occupied doing that my DD had them all done for her.

AIBU to be narked that my daughter is 4 and a potato peeler is dangerous especially unattended or am I being silly and it's just her growing up. I don't no what to think but I wouldn't personally leave somebody's child or my own unattended peeling my veg.

The fact you won't let her probably makes her think it's so much fun.

My dc loved doing that sort of thing at that age. I think it made them feel grown up. I remember making lasagne with ds at about 3yo, and had him slicing mushrooms. Turned round and found him adding pieced of apple he found.
Result is that as teens they now will cook for me, but they're not as enthusiastic about housework as they were at 4yo.
Ds still enjoys washing and checking the car though, which he started at that age. Now he's old enough (and tall enough) to do it all by himself. Win all round.

They probably gave her a peeler and she peeled half a potato while an adult did the rest (and supervised). And they are bigging it up so she feels like she has done a very important job!
It would take a small child an age to do one vegetable (imperfectly) - no way did she do all of them!!

Wow, good for your DD! I can barely peel a potato/carrot/apple without peeling half of my finger off. I dont think my DD4 even knows what a vegetable peeler is! Think I need to set her to work on tea tonight

I have friends who had older children than mine and both went to boarding school. At age 16/17 neither knew how to turn a washing machine on, make a cup of tea or work the Hoover, I vowed I’d never make the same mistake with mine.

My 12 year old makes dinner twice a week and all of them can put a wash on, unblock a dishwasher set a table correctly, recycle, hang a load of washing on the line and most important make their mother a cup of tea.

We are very busy family of 5 and these skills help me but mostly I have always encouraged to do so that they can be independent and self sufficient when they go to Uni/college/move out.

Peeling veg Age 4 is a great start.

I think it is fine - I'd let mine peel veg at that age if they wanted to. Potato peelers are fairly safe.
And for 'she did it all by herself' I'd read ' she had a go under supervision and I gave the veg a once over to remove ll the bits she'd missed' - your MIL and SIL are bigging her up to make her feel grown up. It sounds like she has a nice family who like making her feel important and capable.

My parents used to get mine doing all sorts of jobs when they were little - they loved it - way more exciting than playing with official toys !

YABU. Don’t parent her to grow up as a snowflake.

at forest school we give even tiny kids potato peelers to use to peel sticks - they are safe and teach you the right movements for when you move onto knives later.
and at 4 she probably loves to help

If DD is happy doing this then it is fine. Potato peelers aren't dangerous in the same way as sharp knives.

I personally hate peeling potatoes so I avoid it baking them as jacket spuds, buying mini new potatoes or buying frozen mash.

I am a lazy slattern that way.

Mine have always loved to help us and grandparents prepare meals and a potato peeler at 4 wouldn't worry me. Both went to forest school type nurseries where they played with real hammer, saws, and drills, so frankly a vegetable peeler isn't a concern. They're both very good in the kitchen now.

When mine were 4 onwards they prepared the table, emptied the dishwasher (leaving the sharp knives in the rack at that age), made beds, used the handheld vacuum, helped peel and chop vegetables and fruit, made crumbles, made and buttered their own toast. By 5/6 they could make their own packed lunched.

I used to love doing jobs like that as a small child! Now? Not so much.

Yabu.
I know you've calmly accepted yabu throughout the thread, but your opening post is absolutely ridiculous. To even think this way in the first place is a really strange thing.

I think I used up all my willingness to peel veg & wash dishes before I was 6 🤣

She’s fine, they’re fine - but the peeler and tell her it’s Mummy’s, only for Mummy to use...she’ll be begging to do it 🤣

Try and get a ‘Y’ shaped peeler as they’re better for little hands. Mine peel and chop anything they can!

Scrambled eggs is a brilliant first meal for her to cook. She can do everything apart from the hot pan bit. Teaches then self-reliance and starts an interest on food too.

SIL sounds great, make sure DD spends loads of time there. I got my DS using a wood saw at 4YO, and GD cutting carrots at 4YO. My DS was very adventurous, I knew one day he would find a saw unattended somewhere, I wanted him to know how to use one if that happened, got one all two snipes from well-meaning misguided friends at the time.
He never once hurt himself using cutting implements, in fact I believe it helped immensely to carve DS future.

In the Uk we’ve gone WAAAAY too far to the other end of the scale of what we’ll allow children to do compared to the past and many other countries

I first noticed this happening as a brownie around 40 years ago!

Anyone involved in guiding/scouting or with access to the old handbooks will likely be a combination of shocked/fascinated at how much younger children were expected even generally accepted it was possibly for them to do.

I was doing my hostess badge (yea yea we can do the whole how sexist it was another time) age 7 as I wanted and felt confident in doing it but other brownies in my pack who were OLDER than me as much as 10 years old their parents wouldn’t let them do it because it involved handling a kettle/hot water/hot oven, things I’d been doing at home for at least a year.

Over the years I’ve noticed this trend of not letting children do “dangerous” things increasing.

As a guide/scout leader in the past I’ve had parents refuse to let their precious children:

Wash dishes aged 8
Peel veggies with a peeler not a knife aged 10
Bake cakes aged 8/9
Dust/polish ages 7-9
Peel or chop veggies aged 14!
Boil kettles as late as age 14!
Clean a loo/latrine aged 11-14

It’s ridiculous!

Then as a mature student x 2 I noticed things getting even worse. The first time there were a few of the younger students who didn’t know how to do a specialised laundry (as in unusual fabrics or instructions) or cook a proper from scratch meal.

By the time I was at uni the 2nd time in early 00’s there were 18 year olds who couldn’t make bloody pesto pasta! Who didn’t know to separate colours for laundry or that they needed to put detergent in!

Infantilising our children does them no favours whatsoever.

A veggie peeler is a fairly easy and safe tool for a 4 year old to use, certainly my dd would have been doing that type of task around that age and then doing more and more as she grew. I had odd the comment made by other parents when they discovered she was happily making hot drinks for herself or both of us aged 8/9, knocking up fairy cakes unsupervised aged 10/11, chopping veggies for stir fry’s around the same time...

I didn’t think of it as especially unusual at the time as it’s how I was raised, my parents both came from big, poor families and everyone was expected to “muck in” and they just raised us the same.

And not just kitchen stuff either, dad was army and as anyone from that background will know when you’re moving house you have to clean the old place top to bottom before you leave. From around 5/6 I would say we were expected and actually happy to muck in with that too. We weren’t given anything heavy duty to do but some things are actually easier for children to access/clean and we were quite proud when we had done a good job.

We also helped with things like if dad was fixing the car we’d hold “nuts and bolts”, hold torches in place for him to see what he was doing when still quite young, as we got older he taught us how to change tyres & check pressures, do an oil change, check water levels etc and explained while he was doing so why these things were important and the basics of how a car worked.

We also helped with any painting/decorating like one of our jobs we used to like helping with was sugar soaping the walls to prep.

And I’ve done as I said very similar with dd. As a result she’s actually been shocked and quite critical of some of her friends her age NOW (she’s nearly 19!!) who STILL aren’t allowed to use kettles and sharp knives! They certainly can’t cook or do laundry or iron or anything really. One friend caused much hilarity in the group because she thought when the bulb went in her bedside light she had to get a new lamp! She’d no idea that it just needed a new bulb let alone what kind of bulb or how to change it, another thought their games console was bust when it was just the fuse in the plug.

Yes dd is probably at the other extreme but I’ve never forced her to learn or do things it’s always been her asking “can I mix the cake batter mum” “can I pour the kettle mum” etc and I’ve decided if she is safe to do so and guided her on the right and safe way to do so and for the most part she’s been fine. There have been a FEW minor accidents but that’s life, nothing major and it’s mainly been me ended up injured!

Just remembered one of my favourite things to do when I was 4/5 was shelling peas! My granda has an allotment he grew veggies on and small hands are good at this kind of job, unfortunately I suspect I ate more than i eventually presented to my gran when I was “finished” 😂

Well said, Graphista!

I let my two year old do this all the time. She's totally rubbish at it but in her presence I would probably praise her for helping and exaggerate how helpful she was to build her self esteem and encourage her to want to help with chores generally.

I don't know many 4 year olds who would have the manual dexterity to do that, well done to your DD! Definitely put her to work does she want to come round to mine and peel the spud mountain in the kitchen?

Little children love that sort of thing. I have fond memories of standing on a stepstool "doing" the washing up!

Totally agree with Graphista Ds2 was king of the fitted sheet and duvet-putter-oner at his first school residential when he was 7 as other children had never done it so he helped loads. There were 80 children on the trip.

I remember being a teenager and seeing the "new" Y shaped potato peeler being demonstrated at the food market. Blew my mind

Ds1 is 16 and making dinner for everyone tonight. In fact pesto pasta (with ready cooked chicken thrown in) is one of the first things I taught my sons to cook independently.

OP have your DD peel potatoes with you and see how competent she is. At 4 children in primary school collect their moulded prison tray, choose and collect a lunch, collect cutlery, a glass of water and when finished, scrape their tray, and put their glass and cutlery in the marked bins. I bet a lot of parents don't even make their child take their plate from the table into the kitchen. I did.

Grandson was a devil for plug sockets when he wanted to use something electrical. No patience to wait for help, he would do it himself at two and a half! Daughter asked HV how to stop him (safety plug covers were just removed) and she was told he would be safest if she didn't treat it as something forbidden but instead taught him to use them safely. It worked a treat and in fact he lost all interest when it was no longer done to wind up his parents

The same applies to peelers and other things that are now deemed dangerous. Teach them properly and they will be fine. He is six now and tells me how to use knives, spanners, lopping shears and all sorts that many parents would have a fit over.

Well said Graphista and many others. Op you have accepted gracefully which is great. Please continue to let yr dd help.

I have pictures if ds2 having made a Swiss roll from scratch (whisked sponge and all) aged about 11, and dd certainly could bake unaided at that age. She is now at uni and a bit shocked that some peers don't seem to know how to wash up or sort laundry.

I recall a thread on MN a bit ago where a mum leaving a child at home said, of course he's not allowed to make toast yet, wth? We need to wake up and parent better so our kids are not growing up incompetent. I work with too many millennials who are afraid of their shadow and have no idea about loads of basic stuff that I certainly knew about at 25yo.

Ah bless her, I can’t believe she hoovers her own room! That is so sweet. I’m not being critical of you by the way. My five year old tried to do some tidying for me today and I thought it was so lovely of him. I wouldn’t let the kids peel the veg but that’s because I don’t have the patience. They’d love it I’m sure. It’s nice experience and better than tv.

I'm dyspraxic and always struggled with tasks like that but I remember peeling the veg aged about 7 at brownie camp and really enjoying it. So I'd say the average 4 year old would be capable enough.

You look at the Scandinavian approach OP. They have kids doing this with knives from a very young age. It's so good for fine and gross motor skills. Honestly this is a good thing!