To find silence absolutely deafening?

[Platypusmama]

DH travels for work, is currently away until end of November. I’m at home with our 1 year old dd who is currently sick and having a long nap.

It’s 13:20 and I haven’t spoken a single word to an adult.

I feel like my head is going to explode, I feel paranoid, anxious, lonely I guess.

All of my friends are childless so spend there weekends going out and sleeping, not so interested in hanging out with me and a toddler! I never really got that amazing mum friendship group everyone talks about.. not for lack of trying though, I’m just really shy and anxious in general.

Anyone else with me? It’s so cold and grey here so we can’t even do our usual park trip. I feel like my life is spent just constantly being on my own

So sorry you feel like this. It’s hard.

Can you invite a friend over tonight and get a take away or similar when your DD is in bed? That’s what I do when DP is away.

It’s really hard to feel so trapped do you usually go to groups that have been off for half term?

Can you wrap up dd and get her out in the buggy? Even just a walk to the shop would help. I found myself in a similar position and the only thing that really got me out of my funk was setting myself small tasks and goals to keep busy.

Is there a return to work on the horizon? It’s hard but it can make all the difference to feeling like yourself for a few hours.

Could you invite one of your friends over for the evening? Surely there must be one of them that would forgo partying for one night and would fancy a quiet evening with a glass of wine on the sofa? I know I was very happy to go over and visit friends at their houses when they were at home with small children. Also happy to make it an early night!

I used to feel like this. I go to the park or the shop just to be around other people on those days now.

get out.
to the park
cafe
(and dare I say it) softplay

get a babysitter one evening a week and go to the gym/pub/meet friends.

I’m with you on this, my DH doesn’t even work that far away but during the week I get a little bit stir crazy if I’ve had no interaction with another adult during the daytime - and poor DH comes back only to get bombarded with a stream of consciousness some evenings 😩

If you’re not in a position to go anywhere are there any friends/family members you can have a phone call with? That’s my strategy for crap weather days - I usually call my Mum twice a week (or more) when my twins are napping and it gives me that bit of adult human connection.

My twins are noisy but not speaking yet so I often feel like I’m having a one way conversation but I talk to them a lot, but it’s not the same as having a person who can acknowledge what you’re saying and obviously with my twins it’s all about what we/they are doing and not actual conversation

Thank you for all your lovely responses. I’m studying full time (well, 3 days a week), and dd is in nursery on those days so I do get some adult interaction during the week which is amazing. We usually go to soft play and the park on my days off, though never really talk to anyone there as everyone is in little groups already so I just focus on playing with dd.

My friends are lovely but unfortunately I have become the friend that just meets them for a quick lunch on their break at work, they aren’t really interested otherwise. They definitely wouldn’t spent their Saturday night in with me I guess really my problem is a lack of mum friends! Wouldn’t have any idea where to start though!

Forgot to say - softplay is only open for 3 hours Saturday and Sunday near me and is usually absolutely rammed so we tend to avoid it on the weekends! Dd isn’t yet old enough for baking or crafts (have tried paint once a few weeks ago and it was a disaster! ) so our weekends are just a silent cycle of cooking, naps, short things to distract her and many many meltdowns

That's difficult op.

I agree with others message your friends and ask them if free tonight. If I was and was childless I would happily join you as your friend. I think your overthinking that they won't want to, a night in catching up can be lovely. They probably don't want to ask and be seen to bother you, interrupt routine etc.

You need mum friends as well. Are you on Facebook? Search for baby and toddler groups nearby. There must be something. Music, play sessions, just play group.

You sound lovely, if you're midlands way I'll meet up with you 😁
I found it helped as DS got older because he would approach other children more and I'd have to talk to the other adults.

I think there's an app that helps people in your exact situation - Mush

Might not be to your taste but radio 4, LBC, radio 5 and/or podcasts can be lifesavers for the silence. Just to hear some grown up conversation and the odd thing that takes your interest can be helpful. Helps that I don’t mind arguing with the radio

Things willwill get better; it’s a really awkward age at the best of times for socialising if any kind unless you’re lucky.