To ask about your 11 year olds settling into big school

[motueka03]

Am a bit worried about my DS 11- hes quite shy and unconfident and has found the transition from primary to secondary difficult. He’s struggling a bit with the amount of independent learning that’s expected of him and also with friendships. A lot of the kids in his class have older siblings and are a lot more socially confident as a result I think - DS is quite reserved and at this point, doesn’t want to be arranging to go to his mates etc. He’d rather be at home or wants me to arrange play dates still.
Aibu to worry? I feel like he’s still quite young & settling into secondary has been a big thing for him let alone managing a hectic social life which his friends all seem to. I worry that there is an expectation that he has to be all things & it’s too overwhelming for him. He has got mates but doesn’t nescessarily want to spend all weekend with them either.

I don’t know if I am worrying too much?

You are worrying too much.
My DD is y10 and she still rarely sees school friends out of school. All she wants to do over half terms is relax.
(Maybe think of it as 'facilitating meeting up' rather than 'arranging play dates' though).
Children mature at very different rates, they all get there in the end.

ps There is a Y7 'support thread' on the Secondary board which you may find helpful.