Slightly longwinded background for context:
I gave birth to my DC around 6 weeks ago, ended up having a caesarian under GE so no spinal block, and a lot of complications that meant over 6 hours in surgery.
Came around in agony (spinal block apparently offers longer term pain relief), so put on a morphine pump at the request of the anesthetist from surgery and a registrar. All fine, lovely night changing and cuddling baby, some pain obviously but totally manageable and under control.
The same registrar and another Dr came later to remove the pump before ending their shift, and prescribed me 10-20ml of oramorph every 2-3 hours. Said to keep on top of the pain, as it was hard to get it gone but that it should be trivial to stop it coming back. Had first dose, few hours pass, all good still.
One midwife was responsible for me overnight, her shift starting soon after i came off the pump, she was administering my medication. She gave me 5ml of oramorph very infrequently - every 4-6 hours over the night, despite my frequent buzzing in absolute agony. By the morning I was in tears, groaning, high temperature and completely unable to move. She kept saying I should be mobile, when I couldn't move for pain. When my pain was being managed I was able to pick up my DC to change and feed etc, by this point I couldn't move to sip a drink despite being very thirsty. The midwife wrote in my notes saying I was failing to cope and look after my baby and my husband was having to take over instead. I just needed pain relief.
When the morning shift came, I asked whether I could have the full dose of oramorph as frequently as prescribed as my pain was completely unmanageable. I'd realised it had been a lost cause trying to get the correct dose overnight.
They said I couldn't, as my chart showed I'd had the maximum possible dose - 20ml every 2 hours. All signed off.
I insisted I'd had 5ml every 4-6 hours, nobody would believe me. I wasn't allowed any morphine, just paracetamol. I was in an astronomical amount of pain. This prompted a mental health referral. Overnight I had been given 15ml of oramorph, my chart said I'd had 120ml.
I had a mental health Dr come to pointedly ask me whether I had any drug problems as there was no way that dose would leave me in agony, I accused of having a mental breakdown and being "unable to cope" all day. I was accused of wanting extra morphine because I needed "an escape". I was fine, overjoyed other than the pain, just lacking any sleep and in need of pain relief. I didnt feel able to repeat my assertions that my chart was wrong to the mental health Dr, as it had prompted the referral and mutterings of SS involvement.
I ended up having to stay in hospital for 5 days, having been desperate to go home as they were concerned for my mental health because I was crying all day due to being in total pain. Being on the ward robbed me of any chance of sleep, my paracetamol wasn't even administered regularly so I only made it home when on day 5, the pain had naturally eased off a bit so I stopped crying and groaning.
Went home, giddy and happy with a new baby so thought no more of it and didn't want to focus on the negatives of the first few days.
But its just occurred to me, weeks later, how the midwife looked and was moving, her pinpoint pupils. She was taking my morphine and forging the chart wasn't she? It's bloody obvious to me looking back that it wasn't just an error like I'd initially thought.
WWYD? I could never prove it, could I?