This isn't normal is it? Hate talking to my family about my relationships

[thepeopleversuswork]

Do other people have this or am I weird?

I've always hated to the point of phobia talking to my family about my romantic life. If makes me feel dirty and soiled and embarrassed and just yuck. My mum passed away a few years ago but I particularly hated it with her. Would never talk to her about my relationships. It took me a year to tell her I was engaged - I only told her out of necessity. She never "officially" met any of my boyfriends (she met them but I never told her I was in relationships with them).

Now divorced and in a new(ish) relationship with someone really kind and nice. He's been really keen to meet my dad for ages and I've been putting it off and putting it off. Finally agreed to it and its happening this weekend and I am totally cacking it. Feel anxious and sick and under huge pressure and horribly judged and just yuck. I did have an abusive marriage which may have impacted this but I felt like this way before this so its not the only cause.

There's no obvious reason I can think of which would account for this: my parents aren't religious so its not a thing about sex being bad outside marriage or anything like that. They had a reasonably happy marriage before my mum died.

Just wondered if anyone else feels like this?

I used to, when I first had a relationship. This was because I was subjected to years of my mother telling me that I was not allowed a boyfriend; this was well into my teens and even when I turned 19, I felt I had to ask permission to go on a date (my first). She seemed shocked that I’d asked, which I found strange.

She gave me the impression that boys, and liking a boy, was just shameful. All very weird.

All fine now, but I still feel a bit odd sometimes. I would never tell them any details anyway.

Can you think of a reason why? Are you embarrassed or ashamed of your partner or family in some way? Have they been judgemental in the past?

I put off taking DP home to meet my family as my dad is, and was, a horrible prick. Except when he chose to be on his best behaviour!