To ask what the hell this even means?!

[PhasersTaeMalky]

My boss told someone that I "work too hard". What does that even really mean?!

You’re making everyone else look lazy, I suspect. Is it a small company?

No, no it's not. And the irony is that another boss is making everyone feel like they aren't working hard enough, me included. Hence why I am struggling to understand.

Ignore, unless your boss actually tells you this in person.

They told a member of my family, does that count?

Yes, that does make a difference! What does your family member make of it?

They think I could just about be in the realms of pushing myself too hard.

I'm not really understanding. Isn't that what a boss wants? I thought that it was expected.

What is your boss doing talking to a family member about you?

It just sounds like meaningless vaguely complimentary drivel “oh, she works too hard! ”

Context is everything.

Are you taking on tasks that are someone else's responsibility?

Boss is concerned about your work/life balance?

We are a joint workforce with joint tasks we all muck in to achieve what we need to achieve on any specific day.. So no, I'm not stealing anybody else's work.

My boss had occasion to meet my family member when they popped into my work to say hello to me. They said to my family member that I work hard, too hard. My family member said,,,,," I know"

Are you arriving early, leaving late or taking work home with you?

Are you stressed and snappy with people on the office?

It was probably meant as a compliment and perhaps recognising that you push yourself. There may be a smattering of concern there ie it's great that she works so hard and I amnawarenif my duty if care to her.... I wouldn't see this off the cuff comment as a bad thing at all. Really. Dont sweat this. They were being positive.

Well, you’re not working too hard if you’re stopping for a chit chat with your family on work time

Seriously - that was just a social nicety, meaningless compliment.

Surely you know yourself whether you’re working hard or not?

Erm honestly in my industry that phrase is occasionally used and it basically means the person is doing too many hours and too much (which to be fair is a feat in social care) but they are making too many mistakes. That they need to stop and focus on fewer things to get them right.

It's not a compliment when I've heard it used.

However it would be insane to say that to a family member and massively inappropriate but I've heard it used discussing issues in Managers meetings and once or twice it's been used in supervisions (not mine fortunately )

Sorry op that may well not be it if you're in a different industry. Or its entirely possible it was a thoughtless throwaway comment.

I’m voting throwaway. It’s up there with the patronising boss saying it’s really his* secretary who runs the department, ha ha ha.

*it’s always a he

I'm not really understanding. Isn't that what a boss wants? I thought that it was expected

Of course not, people who work themselves too hard might one day break, they might get disillusioned, they might become unhappy, or make their family unhappy with all the work and stress them - then you lose them, you want to keep the good staff, even if you're purely thinking about the business, working too hard is not great for the long term health of the company.

Depending on the type of work, it also can often mean more mistakes, so the employee is actually less productive than if they had a healthier balance.

Only employers where the job is easy to fill (low-skilled but lots of recruits) can get away with exploiting staff.

of course not, a boss does not want you to work too hard

work hard yes, and deliver

but not work too hard, that is a bit like someone that tries TOO hard

It is an unnecessary opinion to even bother yourself with. Long as you dont feel you work to hard, enjoy your work and the amount. It is none of your boss or colleagues business and if anything someone who works hard should be considered more positively than negatively. Nobody gets promotions handed to them on a plate and it sounds like your boss has never worked hard. He isnt actually allowed to comment on you in a manner that isnt professional. It's better to keep work and personal life separate. People who negatively comment on others do it to make themselves feel better about their shity situations. Keep up the good work xx

Probably just crappy small talk.

Maybe that you spend too much time at work, work late too often and he thinks you don't have a personal life at all or are overly prioritising your work to the expense of a personal life?

“It sounds like your boss has never worked hard” eh?! Where do you get that from?!

If it was in the context of a performance review or chat with other managers I’d say it means you make your work too hard for yourself ie. you work hard but not smart.

Since this was said to a family member though I’d assume it was just awkward small talk. Maybe your family member said something about how you’re always working and your boss was just agreeing.

Ok. I'm not arriving too early and leaving late (unless we are short staffed and I am asked to, in which case I do stay and help.)

I'm not making lots of mistakes and I have never had a bad performance review.

My family member didn't bring it up. it was entirely initiated by the boss.

I'm not stressed and snappy, I'm tired and a little discouraged , but so is everybody else there (including the boss) because it's not an easy job (despite appearances, there is a lot of stress.)

It probably was a throwaway comment, but it's left me somewhat confused and I hate not understanding.

Apologies.

Boss meets family member, immediately put on the spot to say something about employee that won't be misconstrued, comes out with - she works too hard doesn't she? Sheepish laugh, family member agrees. Moment over, two people in admiration of a dedicated worker, bonding moment.
That's how I'd read this.

Are you overdoing the little things? For example, at work there is a woman who often leads meetings (we all do at times). When most of us lead a meeting we just sit there and go through the agenda. This woman however, makes a PowerPoint with transitions and pictures. She basically makes something totally unnecessary that took a lot of time that no one needs AND over engineered it.

Are you going far beyond what is expected or needed?

Often though, I feel these comments are made off the cuff to mean either 1. You are a great worker and they don’t know how to say it 2. You do beyond what’s needed 3. They are concerned that you take too much on / volunteer for extra responsibilities.

Ultimately, you may need to ask if it’s bothering you.