Why is my life like this?

[Mysteriocheerios]

I'm trying to stay calm but I'm having such a shitty time of things. In August my tax credits were stopped as I dared to switch from a nursery to a childminder. The investigation is still ongoing as they lost my evidence and they only accept things by post or fax (in 2019!) I'm going to lose my Childminder if I don't pay her this week as we live in an area where they are like gold dust!
I've had to make up for this £500 loss every month by borrowing from everyone I know and maxing out my tiny credit card. Then my dad got ill so I had to fly to Switzerland to see him as he might have died but my plane was cancelled due to air traffic strikes and I lost £200 worth of hotels and train tickets.
I didn't have the ability to do overtime as my dd started school in September and was doing days like 9-11 for two weeks! I was offered a promotion and then they took it away as my boss decided that she would go with an older colleague without young children. I got a job cleaning at weekends but they found out I was working Monday to Friday and thought it would be too much (even though it was only 8 hours a week.)
Then to top it all off I got a letter stating that my appeal for a parking fine has been rejected and I now owe them £160. I had paid the correct money but it was on two separate tickets (issued one after the other) and despite sending the evidence they aren't budging, saying that valid payment has to be on one ticket.
It's my ds' birthday party tomorrow and I might have to cancel as I have nothing in my account and there are 15 kids coming. I don't do party bags but the poor kids at least deserve a squash and a cheese sandwich.
Someone tell me it gets better! I've got a debt management plan but it's taking a while to get set up so this month I paid them and my credit card companies

I think you need the CAB for the tax credits thing - they are used to sorting out scenarios like this. When you are on a tight budget it only takes one thing to fuck it all up. Who is your DMP with?

Do you have a walk in CAB in your area or can you make an appointment?

Have you literally no money for food this weekend?

You are very clearly having a shitty time of it at the moment but you have everything in place to come out at the other end. you will be fine OP, it will all come good.

I would maybe speak to citizens advice about all the plates you have spinning with different agencies and see if they can take some of the weight for you.

Chin up

Op this sounds like life had dealt you a load of shit and you’re still standing. So well done.
You must be a very resilient person . You’ve been paying what you can, despite the unfairness. You were up for promotion so you’re obviously good at what you do. You flew out to see your dad when he was sick.
You sound like a really good person struggling.
As for the cleaning, perhaps you could pick up some hours on one of the apps (bidvine or similar) where you just advertise your services and take jobs that suit. Loads of cleaning ones come up. Particularly commercial, which tend to be fairly well paid.
But hold tight and things will get better.

Tax credits is slowly being sorted. When I rang today they said my reconsideration was on the top of the pile. But it's still going to be next Friday before I get any money.
I'm on such a tight budget because I've not had my tax credits for months. One month I could live without but four months of being down £500 each month is killing me.
I have food for me and the kids but not enough to feed other children 'party food.' I don't even have enough eggs to make my ds a cake. It feels like we work so hard and there's no pay off.

Do you have any relatives coming tomorrow who you could ask to bring some squash or a cake?

If I was you I’d postpone the party, do it at a later date. You don’t need such stress right now and everyone has a breaking point

I was doing some ad-hoc cleaning but without childcare it's very hard. No one wants cleaners at weekends when I have my parents to look after the dc's.

Or do you have flour and tomato puree? Cheese?
Could you somehow make it into a pizza making party ?

there is a website called Prolific Academic where you earn money (about £7.50 per hour) doing psychology research on a website. It is not much money but you can do it from home anytime that suits you, so it might help.

Everything just feels too late. I was optimistic back in August, when I thought it was only going to be a matter of weeks. I started cleaning and getting out at every opportunity, selling stuff on FB. I'm tired now. I just want things to be easier. I'm on annual leave today, I should be with my kids. I shouldn't be on the phone to HMRC for two hours trying to beg them to pay me so I don't lose my job. Because that's the reality. My childminder will terminate my contract and I won't have anything. I can't afford to pay a months worth of fees upfront to a nursery. My credit is so bad I can't borrow anymore.

my god things have been tough, i dont know what to suggest re childminder, i guess all you can do is tell her what you've told us you're top of the pile and should have good news by end of next week, you dont have any other options do you, the party its very late in day but can only suggest you get onto any charity working in area tell them the whole story, my dad does a lot of volunteering for one well known one , and they have emergency funds, but he had a similar story couple of months back -young couple they were already being helped with school supplies, food etc and my dad found out they had to cancel a child party he was able to get it sorted for them few pizzas, squash, and sweets, all donated to him free through his network, then he came over to mine and raided my party box so he had balloons and banners, if you dont ask no one can help so give it a try, maybe if you said what area you live in others can suggest local assistance.

Do you have PayPal? You could order pizza from dominos and pay after delivery via PayPal - I know it means delaying it and more debt but at least they could have a pizza for tea? That would solve one problem.

You may also find lots of stuff reduced to clear after Halloween. Also this won’t help if you’re at zero, but if you can scrape a few quid together...

Thank you, you've all been so sweet. Faith in humanity restored definitely. I'll try a few charities but I don't really think I'm deserving as I'm a working home owner. You really never can predict your luck can you?

Oh OP

It sounds like you are doing your best under crappy circumstances. Hang on in there.

There certainly used to be a government scheme that would lend you small amount interest free with a payment plan that came out of benefits when sorted. I cannot remember what it was called but I think it was specifically aimed at situations like your tax credit one.

As for party...IF you could afford it (or may have some of it in your cupboards) Pitta pizzas to make. You'd need pitta bread, grate the cheese (just supermarket value would work) a bit of ham/other cold meats and tomato/BBQ sauce even works instead of puree for kids.

Do you have a food bank in your area? You local jobcentre may issue you with a voucher if you can pop in before they close

How things get better for you soon

Thanks everyone. I wouldn't go to a food bank as I have food in my house, it's just not party food so I don't think that's an adequate reason.
Just as I cleared up on the other thread, I'm not asking for money, just a hand hold!