To be so worried DH having partial circumcision

[PeaceandYoga]

I’m posting on this section for traffic.

DH needs a partial circumcision due to a v tight foreskin. He is not looking forward to it obviously and had read a story about a man who had had it done, found it v difficult to live with, and I think mentioned it on a letter before he committed suicide! He has put it off but it is getting to the point where he knows he needs it.

Anyway, I’m so worried because I suffer from anxiety and experienced some trauma this year which means I basically worry frequently that DH might have died if he doesn’t answer the phone or he’s asleep! “The worst” has happened to us and so it seems so logical to me that things could go wrong again.

He’s having a general anaesthetic for the procedure so I’m worrying about that mainly.

I’m also worrying about it affecting us TTC as we both really want a child and who knows how this will affect our sex life an for how long. We are not that young.

I’m just worrying the closer we get to the date.

Does anyone have any experience of this? Or reassurance?

My DP had this. It was absolutely fine and he has never once regretted it. Obviously it was painful after the operation and he was nervous about the results, but he recovered really quickly and has never had a single problem since. He is pleased that he had it done - it's really eased a lot of the discomfort he suffered before he had it done. The only change he had to make was switching from loose boxers to tighter ones that offer a bit more, er, support. Other than that it's all been fine.

Regarding the anaesthetic, the operation is very quick - he will only be asleep very briefly. I dropped my DP off at the hospital at 8am, he went for his op at 9.30 and I picked him up again at 12.30. Plus, as with any operation, they'll go through all the usual procedures first to make sure he's safe to have the anaesthetic.

I totally get why you're worried - I was too - but I promise you that it will be fine. When that story emerged about the man who took his own life, FIVE different men I follow on Twitter admitted they had had a circumcision as an adult and that they were absolutely fine and had never regretted it - they all felt the story wasn't at all balanced in the way it portrayed the experience, and I strongly doubt that the poor man who died didn't have some other mental difficulties in addition to his worries over his operation. Honestly, this is a really common operation and a very minor one.

It is a flap of skin. Very minor procedure. Millions if not billions of men are circumcised on this planet and live happy lives.

DP had a circumcision as a teenager, it has caused him no issues and he is happy he had it done. The scarring is barely noticeable. He will probably be very very sensitive on the head of the penis for a few weeks while he adjusts to it not being covered by skin. Have you had help for your anxiety OP? Because it sounds like that is a much bigger problem than the op.

Think of it from the a different perspective. Your DH will have medical checks done before the anaesthetic which mean that you will have reassurance that he is basically healthy.

The little bit of skin that is being removed is really no ornament and to him it's no use either.

Very minor, very quick and the chance of any complications are disappearing low.

It’s a minor procedure.

My main worry is you trying to conceive when you don’t seem to have your anxiety under control. Having a baby gives you a million things to worry about. You need to try and start from a good place as far as your mental health is concerned. Have you spoken to a professional?

My DP had the same procedure and for the same reason as your DH, OP.
He has no regrets and only a small scar that you would have to get up close to see
For him, the benefits massively outweighed the small chance of something going wrong.

Thank you @underground76 I’m pleased your DH was happy with the outcome

@Durgasarrow I realise it’s a minor procedure and the risks are low but I lost someone very precious recently to something that is very rare so I worry a lot now.

@nocluewhattodoo @user1480880826. I had some counselling after the loss but I see the the anxiety is ongoing so was thinking as I wrote this post that I should seek counselling again. I think it would help, although last time she just said it’s completely reasonable for me to assume DH or anyone will die as the other person died...

Thanks @Hecateh Do they do these checks immediately before the op? I’ve known people have pre-op checks in the days before an op but DH just has an appointment to go in for the procedure

Pleased to hear this @Reinga

Thank you for the replies

I realise I’m over anxious but you’d understand if you knew what I had experienced this year

I might be back on the day for a hand-hold 😝

The fact that they are having him straight in is an even bigger indicator of how minor the procedure is and how unlikely there will be any issues.

He will have, unless things have changed drastically, temp, pulse and blood pressure and a urine dip stick. These would pick up any major heart issues. The urine test would pick up (possible) diabetes and potentially certain kidney issues.

All of which would be very unusual for there to be any issues.