To stay or to go...

[Mumtum22]

I don't know what to do, my husband and I fight constantly and to be honest I don't know if we can come back from it but I have a 16 month old and my baby is only 3 weeks old, his attitude really pisses me off! I asked him to give her a bottle at 1am and he shook his head at me and took a full huff! I understand he has work but I worked full time pregnant and with a baby that didn't sleep. And also I'm here all day looking after two babies which is just as exhausting as working. He told me last week this is the unhappiest he's ever been and that fact that I had just given birth to his child this made me want to leave but he's refusing to let me take them with me. He has completely changed since our 2nd child has arrived and I don't know if I should just leave. I'm so depressed I don't even want to be here anymore.

What do you mean he's refusing to let you take them with you? Can you tell him to move out for a while so you have have some space from each other?

It sounds really tough for you.

Before your 2nd child was born, were there any issues at all? It’s a big adjustment and I wouldn’t necessarily write off the relationship just yet.

He won't leave he said he's going nowhere I can leave but the kids are staying, I feel like I can't talk to him about anything he just flies off the handle. We don't agree on anything and to be honest our 2nd baby is putting no more stress on us than having our first I think we are both just genuinely unhappy

I wonder how he expects to look after both kids by himself if he can’t even give one of them one bottle...

I’m not sure what the best course of action is when you want to separate but can’t because the kids are being used like that but hopefully someone will come along and give you some advice.

Absent abuse, I would generally recommend not making big relationship changes in the first year with a baby. It’s such a tough year and you are doing it two times in a row.