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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Trick or treat with no decorations

133 replies

DanceMonkeyDanceMonkey · 31/10/2019 22:01

Hallowe'en wasn't such a thing when my dc were young, compared to now. I have never taken them trick or treating. My road has 9 houses, and no one puts out pumpkins or decorations.

AIBU to be annoyed by someone ringing the bell? DH was embarrassed and gave them money, but I feel that we should not have to partake if we choose not to.

OP posts:

Seahorseshoe · 01/11/2019 06:23

My kids are grown, my DS loved Halloween growing up, preferred it to Christmas. I still decorate and put a pumpkin out, so trick or treaters know they are welcome. We had about 25 last night. I just think it's a nice childhood memory.

Gosh, in my youth, we used to make a guy for the bonfire and knock on doors for "penny for the guy" - we didn't have Halloween like we do now. Bonfire night was a big thing in the 70's. We'd have a big house party and my dad would build a huge bonfire in the garden. Mum would make burgers, hot dogs and hot chocolate and all the adults would be drunk 🥴 - perfect when lighting fireworks 🤔😯.

zsazsajuju · 01/11/2019 06:31

When I was a kid we just went to every house and decorations wasn’t a thing. I would say yabu yes. It’s one night. Unless you are absolutely bombarded all you need to do is buy a bag of sweets and listen to some kids jokes

JustAnotherMammi · 01/11/2019 06:43

We only knock on doors with decorations and lights in.

JustAnotherMammi · 01/11/2019 06:45

Some people have signs on doors saying no trick or treaters

lowlandLucky · 01/11/2019 07:00

In my village the children will only knock on your door if porch/outside light is on. Works very well

sashh · 01/11/2019 07:05

The first halloween I was here I put a pumpkin out and it was stolen! The teenager who had taken it was sent to bring it back, I didn't find out why it had reappeared until I spoke to the neighbour.

I'd had some problems with teens but not after they'd had sweets.

I have a couple of skulls and a pumpkin that are tea light holders and they go outside the door.

My first callers were teenage boys last night, in their very un halloweeny hoodies, but I had some smaller children in costume some accompanied by teenagers or dads. It always seems to be dads with the little ones round here.

Not far away is a small group of shops, in the two weeks before halloween the shops have signs saying they will welcome T or Ters, I think they do tea for th adults.

These days there should be an app to tell people which houses to approach.

BiBiBirdie · 01/11/2019 07:09

Our village is quite in to it but there are unwritten but heavily followed rules
The pub has the first big party for kids on the Sunday before, hour and a half of games and they all get fed and leave with a bag to put their sweets in
On the day, houses saying yes decorate in the afternoon so those driving home can see you don't mind. Those not partake either don't decorate or there are signs posted on the village online Next Door group.
If you're going out you can leave the bucket of sweets on the doorstep - we did last night and it still had sweets in when we got back as kids know to take 1 each.
We never have problems, they're always very polite and everyone really enjoys it.
No one dares knock at houses not joining in.

emilybrontescorsett · 01/11/2019 07:16

Only knock on decorated houses.
It's not wise to encourage kids to be knocking on random houses.
When my kids were little and I was out trick or treating with them, we only went to known houses which were decorated. I've also left a tray of sweets on the doorstep and there were still sweets left when we returned.
All those saying just don't answer the door, would you not mind people knocking on your door when you don't want to answer cos I would.

footballmum · 01/11/2019 07:23

Well this thread has been a revelation! I’m always happy to have trick or treaters. My kids are too old for it now but I still buy sweets. But for the last 3 years we’ve had none. I’ve never decorated our house-it genuinely never occurred to me! But now I realise that’s why we’ve had no trick or treaters! Next year I’ll make a bit more effort

emilybrontescorsett · 01/11/2019 07:29

Can I also mention "Carol singers" here.
My pet hate is total strangers knocking on my door, then singing we wish you a merry Christmas and standing there expecting money.
No Carol singing is singing several carols and then you can knock on the door.
Pisses me off.

Pandainmyporridge · 01/11/2019 07:38

Now I open the door and ask why they think it is a good idea to knock on a complete stranger's door, begging...
Please say you don't really do that!

onanothertrain · 01/11/2019 07:43

I've never had guisers in the 10 years I've been in my house. I bought sweets the first 4 years, ended up eating them myself and then stopped bothering. I didn't know about the decorated house rule until a couple of years ago but it seems to be followed here. There's not many young kids on my street though.

Ionacat · 01/11/2019 07:47

Definitely only decorated houses or a pumpkin out round here. Last night was the first time in a long time we didn’t get anyone knocking despite this.
I managed to stop three lots last year who were randomly knocking on everyone’s door from disturbing several vulnerable neighbours including someone with Alzheimer’s and the family that had a clear sign up saying sorry no trick or treaters. It may just be one night, but like all of these things you don’t have to join in and if being forced to can cause distress then it isn’t fair and they need some way of showing that they aren’t participating. Even the knocking on the door can cause distress to some people and it is really important to recognise that.

BeardedMum · 01/11/2019 07:54

We had a mad rush between 6 and 7:30 and then it went quiet. It’s mainly primary school children. My children are too old now, but I remember how much fun they had so don’t mind opening the door for a few hours and giving out sweets. No one ever knocks on my door the rest of the year. If you don’t want to participate and still get a few knocks just don’t open the door.

bigbluebus · 01/11/2019 08:04

I haven't decorated for the last few years but do put the outside light on and I get loads of children visiting. This year i hung a Happy Halloween sign from the light and probably still got the same number of visitors - some I knew and others I didn't- although it's hard to tell when they are heavily disguised. I do worry that they will visit houses that don't want them ie elderly neighbour and on this occasion new ndns who only moved in yesterday and probably weren't prepared (no children), but figured that the message would soin get around about which houses gave treats and which ones not to bother with.

Chocolatemouse84 · 01/11/2019 08:30

We went trick or treating with the kids... Decorated houses only and people seemed happy to see us, many had dressed up themselves or much younger children to answer the door. We went early and were home for 7.

I put a tub of sweets at the bottom of my drive with pumpkins and decorations for people to take as we wouldn't be in. That stopped people knocking later on as well, it was half full when we got back and when I took it in at half 8,it was empty so I brought the decorations in as well.

whatthehelldowecare · 01/11/2019 08:32

@BackforGood what a massive fun sponge you are...

GhooOOoultheCat · 01/11/2019 08:38

Couldn't you just get one of those signs that say 'Sorry, no trick or treaters'? My nan has one and never has a problem.

OtraCosaMariposa · 01/11/2019 08:40

We had no decorations, no pumpkin no anything.Two of my kids are too old for Halloween and the other one was away out at an activity all evening.

We had two groups of children who are not known to us ring the bell anyway. Didn't answer.

katewhinesalot · 01/11/2019 08:42

I got through about 120 sweets/lollies last night. Most of the kids were in small groups having been to mini parties previously. That's what we used to do when mine were small. Decorated houses only though.

They only get one sweet each though. It would cost a fortune to do bags.

BackforGood · 01/11/2019 09:46

I knew some people wouldn't like my post

No I'm not a fun sponge. I am really concerned for the safety of little ones being given the message it is a good idea to approach strangers and ask them for sweets.

I am equally concerned for my neighbours who are elderly and physically disabled and who really worry if someone knocks their door once it's gone dark. I am concerned for my other friends and neighbours , one of whom has dementia and is completely confused at the concept of opening the front door to either small dc he doesn't know or teens dressed so they scare him. I'm also concerned for the family I learned of recently who have been through trauma I'm not going to share on here, who don't want teens in scary masks or children with fake blood / wounds on their head appearing at their door at night - when you've experienced children being harmed in that way, it just isn't funny. (Those are just 3 families I was thinking of last night).

I just don't think it should be encouraged to go and knock doors when you don't know who is behind that door.

Teach your children to have some consideration for other - you just don't know what people are going through - even if you don't want to teach them to risk assess situations to learn to keep themselves safe.

Going to parties that are pre-arranged. - Fine
Going to friends / neighbours you've checked before if they re happy with it - fine.
Going to houses that have opted in by decorating their house / displaying a pumpkin - knock your socks off.

Knocking on doors where you have no idea who lives there, and they have clearly not opted in - not on.

whatthehelldowecare · 01/11/2019 09:50

@BackforGood sorry but I 100% stand by my fun sponge assessment.

Confusedbeetle · 01/11/2019 10:16

The whole thing is outrageous. Put a sign on your door. No Trick or Trick.
Everyone else consider what message yo are teaching your children

BackforGood · 01/11/2019 10:18

That's fine @whatthehelldowecare We're all adults here and I can agree to disagree.

I'm just glad my dc have grown up to consider the feeling of those who are more vulnerable in society.

TheGoogleMum · 01/11/2019 10:23

We dont decorate ever as we aren't bothered about Halloween (maybe when DD is older). Normally don't get and trick or treaters but did get 1 this year (no porch. Outside light was on as DH was out to help him find his keys when he gets home, I was also expecting my parents to pop round so couldn't risk ignoring door!). I did get a just in case bag of sweets luckily. I was a bit surprised though as I thought the protocol was decorated houses only

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