AIBU to ask if anyone's got a child like this?

[meanmummy2]

When she doesn't get her way, I am:

1. Mean and horrible
2. She doesn't want to live with me
3. I don't buy her things
4. I don't give her food and sweets
5. I dont care about her and I don't want to listen to her.
6. I only love DS7 and DS3, but not her.
7. We never go anywhere

Despite being waited on hand and foot everyday, well fed and given lots of snacks. Goes to ballet, swimming and parks/play dates in the weekends, lots of toys.

All this because she wanted to watch TV when we got home at 8pm, and I said no! She's 6 btw.

Has anyone got a child like this and how do you deal with it? It's worrying and hurtful because if nobody knew the backstory, it would be a safeguarding issue if she went and told the teacher all her lies. She's very manipulative and knows how to hurt me

Middle child behaviour. My sister was the same. Watch out she doesn't start picking on DS2 when he's a little older.

Yep my 7 year old DD is like this. It’s normal, I definitely remember acting that way at that age myself.

I kissed my ds5 on his cheek the other day and he said ''Right that's it I'm not going to school today!!" he is so strong and stubborn and I have to constantly repeat myself especially when he is playing god damn games on the phone to get him to listen but he is also the most sensitive boy so there's 2 sides to him, I also think being tired has a massive affect on them and how they feel we treat them

Totally normal but you need to start weaning her off the behaviour. Each time she does that ignore her. When she has calmed down ask her how she thinks those words made you feel. Talk about kindness and about thinking of other people’s feelings even when you are angry. She will stop it at some point. It’s pretty common though- don’t take it personally.

One of the threats from my little one when he didn’t get his way was that he would join the army when he turns 16 and I would never see him again. I remember a time when he accused me of never buying anything. I put all his favourite toys in a bin bag. He asked what I was doing. I said I was taking all the toys back as apparently we have stolen goods in our house so I needed to take them back to the shops. I don’t think he accused me of never buying him anything ever again after that.

They’re little and like to push buttons and test boundaries. It can be hurtful sometimes what comes out of their mouths. Remember they don’t know or think (nor do they have to) of sacrifices or hard work we put in in order to make them happy or to spoil them with toys/days out etc.

Agree with pp, completely normal and any teacher will have heard that kind of thing before!

Just to add, 6 year old emotions are very immediate. It's not as if she has sat down and rationally worked out all the times you have done things she likes and all the times you did things she didn't like, compared it to her siblings and friends and concluded that you are a terrible parent! If she's cross/upset/tired etc she's not thinking of ballet trips or snacks and yabu to expect her to remember them!

Think of it as "I am upset right now and it feels like this has always and will always be my mental state because I don't have an adult's emotional control or understanding of the passage of time!"

Of course you can set a boundary that she shouldn't be rude and shout at you, or help her to develop by reminding her of fun things you do and that everyone has to compromise/do things they don't like sometimes. But if she's too overwhelmed or you are both likely to get drawn into an argument I would just ignore and eye roll

She sounds very normal! My 5 year old's favourite line of righteous indignation is "Well, I am not going to be your child any more!"

Or they’ll tell you their other parent is better than you and then do reverse to the other parent! Kids, hey??

@meanmummy2 @GrumpyHoonMain

How do you punish her when she’s rude to you?

I do hope "not"!