To be embarrassed DS won’t say thank you?

[Greedytiger]

DS turned 3 last week. He is incredibly chatty and confident at home and around other children, but is very very shy and wary of adults. Even family members he really struggles with and he will hide behind me and not talk to them.

I’m really struggling when out and about with him because he won’t say thank you to an adult. Tonight trick or treating I obviously said it for him but got some very rude looks when he didn’t say it himself. He won’t say it to shop assistants etc and if an adult (even one he knows reasonably well) talks to him he puts his hands over his face.

At home he is incredibly polite, always says please and thank you, I just wish he would do it with other people so they could see what a lovely natured boy he is.

Any advice on how I encourage him to talk to people? Or do I just leave him to it and hope he grows out of it?

I had a very shy DS1. He’s better now but not the life and soul of a party. We had a rule that he had to say hello, goodbye and thank you. That’s it. And answer any questions asked of him but I would help. He didn’t have to make any conversation etc. That took the pressure off. And no never say the ‘he’s shy’ bit. You can say ‘he’s having a quiet day today.’

Thanks everyone. He does know some signs as he was a late talker and so we used them quite a lot. Haven’t bothered in ages though so I will try and encourage it for please and thank you.

He is very tall and so looks about 4/5 which I think doesn’t help with peoples judgement.

Sorry quick question. I keep hearing ds ? What does DS Mean? Thanks

Dear/darling son. It’s how people are always refer to on Mumsnet. DD, DH etc.

OP my 3.5 is exactly the same, so chatty and polite at home but doesn't acknowledge anybody outside the house (although he warms up eventually). We went to his grandparents yesterday and he refused to say one word to MiL, even though she has looked after him for 3 days a week since he was 1 years old!! It's bizarre but I try not to worry about it. We also went trick or treating yesterday and we couldn't even get him to say the words "trick or treat" let alone "thank you"😂

Let's both hope that this shall pass!

Mine also a late talker. I found reading about selective mutism really informative.