Dh rarely visited his family since leaving his hometown 30 years ago .
I was introduced to his parents who appeared chaotic and had history of stealing , burgalry , systematic benefit fraud . Prison .
They appeared wary of someone - me - of a different background and often asked questions like .. so what’s your parents house like , what car does your dad drive , bet you don’t come from a council estate .. to which I replied best I could ..
detached / Audi / mini / no I don’t .
That was then used against me .. get her type of thing . There were also insults from his mother about my personal appearance .
Over the years I kept trying to go but felt more and more anxious . Also , when we had d c they came to us as it seemed better on home turf .
Other family members too were working and claiming benefit with 5 dc . This was a systematic thing .
They said once to my dh that they simply wouldn’t work for his wages .
Anyway , one of the family members who in his youth commited significant crime and benefit fraud and has the many dc has said he wants to see dh again after all this time .
They are very different to us - I can do different - but some things I struggle with - putting the past fraud and crime aside .. they seem very into having so many kids , fly abroad , a lot of ‘ show ‘ on face book were as we are as green as we can be , grow our own veg , eat simply - veggie husband - vegan me ( which I will not mention unless we eat out n need to check menu )
Am scared of them staying with us as am anxious I may be judged all over again for being different .
I admit I have some anxiety about the past crimes - I know they won’t do any thing to us .. am just quite anxious about these strangers whereas usually I am very hospitable , gregarious , generous and love opening my house .
I don’t want to make things difficult by being tense ..
but am not a good actor .
Help ?