AIBU to ask if you've met your Ex's new partner?

[Letsmeetngreet]

Just that really. How did it go? Did you invite her round to yours or meet somewhere else?

@Lovemenorca I'm bringing my kids up to have manners, even if my ex and his new wife have none. We give thank you gifts if we are a house guest, and birthday and Christmas gifts if we are to see the person in the day. I'm teaching my children something, not giving anything of any value to a horrible woman I don't know. They don't she her any more now anyway so it's a moot point, but I will continue to bring them up to be classier than that side of the family until they leave my home.

Any adult “horrible” to my children is a bigger issue than “manners”.

Not really. I think she's scared of me because she was the OW and is a lot younger than me and ex basically does anything I ask for fear of rocking the boat (he is very weak and pathetic). I don't ask for anything much but he falls over himself to be accommodating with changes to child care etc which must be very frustrating for her. I've invited her to a few things like the kids birthday parties but he always makes up an excuse why she can't come. I don't want to meet her particularly, as long as the kids are ok with her then I don't give a toss really and it's not like meeting her would change anything.

Fortunately, for me most of our so called friends have barely spoken to me since the affair came out. A few loyal ones but not many.

It was of course the best thing etc, everyone happy, except my DCS and me for a while. I was encouraged to be a big person and let it all go!! i got over the affair bit but not the shit done to my DCS.

She played the victim very well, was scared of me etc etc

Ex left her and amazingly some of our mutual friends have said she is hard done by!! ( I spat my wine on hearing that one!).

I have no wish to see the malignant child abusing cow ( she did a lot of bad to my DCS) and would be happy to dance on her grave! Sadly as I am 12 years older than her it is more likely to be the other way round!!

No.2 : is just normal and nice, I have no beef, we talk go for a drink on occasions and we all go out for meals with the DCS and SDCs etc. This is the way adults should behave.

Since No2 came on the scene - life is so much calmer.
Sadly my DCS have to see No1 twice a year at their siblings b day and pre Xmas.
Eldest used to make potions when he was younger to kill the witch - that might give you an idea on how horrible she was to them

I speak to my partner's ex a lot, but I have never met his DS's mum (she lives an hour away and DSS gets the train to go and see her as he's 16, so no real need for contact).

I found it really awkward meeting his ex for the first time, as even though he'd been single for a year before we even met, I know from talking to him that she didn't want to break up, and she chased after him for a long time (only given up in the past 6 months really, so a significant amount of our relationship of texts/phonecalls/turning up at the door saying she wanted to see DSS).

So it's complicated, but sort of sorted now, and we can chat. The only time it's really awkward is when my partner is here too, as he just doesn't know what to say to her! So ironically it's better when it's just me and her, if anything.

Yes! First time me, he snd she met up for a coffee snd chat and it went from there. I prefer her to him being honest and we do have chats when I see her. Shes great to ky kids so no reason for us not to be friendly.

When XH had a new partner I met her at their house when dropping off or picking up the DCs one time. We also went out for dinner on the DCs’ birthdays - him and his GF, me and my DP and all the kids. Was fine.

I met my DP’s ex at her insistence at his house one day when I went round for dinner. She’s not my type of person but we get on fine.

DP has invited me, my DCs and their dad round for Sunday lunch tomorrow as CH is visiting from abroad and staying at my house while I’m in a hotel for the weekend, so DP thought it would be nice to invite us all over! Getting on with each other makes it easy for the DCs, they don’t have to feel torn loyalties and can spend significant dates with both parents and/or partners with no animosity.

There was infidelity on DP’s ex’s part but he doesn’t seem too fussed about it . Not sure I’d be quite so magnanimous if my ex had cheated and I had to spend time with the OW.

*XH is visiting

My first husband's new ( third, I was the first) wife was a "pinkie" (care assistant) on the maternity ward when I had no3 son. She bounced over, all perky and wide awake and asked "where's the baby" at 6a.m. when I was on the ward and he was in icbu. I had no idea who she was, barely knew she existed, and she had to tell me who she was.
Was a tad disconcerting to say the least...
His first girlfriend after we split, I was talking to him in a nightclub once, about our DS, and she came barrelling over, have me the Evils and said "I'm his girlfriend, who are you?" I just waved my left hand at her (wearing my ring still cos I wanted to ward off drunks and we'd only been separated a little while) and said "I'm his wife" That was a weirdly enjoyable moment