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Original poster

Hate being a manager this week

26 replies

Onlytodaythisname · 31/10/2019 07:02

Just a vent, really, and hoping for wisdom from those who've been in the same position.

I'm happy to move into leadership roles at work but sometimes being a manager is just so grim. Like this week.

When you're a regular worker, you're just plugging along and assuming that others are, like you, doing their best.

When you're a manager you're sitting there explaining to a grown man that he can't just sneak away from his desk and take a nap in the closet for three hours. I only found out when the secretary admitted it to me. And then have him sit there and play it all reasonable like "Well I wasn't feeling well that day". (And yes we did the whole "If you're unwell and need support you can always come to us etc.") He's not hitting targets and evidently this has been happening for months.

Of course I have the tools and the support of upper management to deal with this and I am (warning, PIP). But it's just that disheartening feeling of having a colleague being disingenuous.

And there was me like a chump pointing out over the last few months: "Yeah you're still not hitting targets, how can we streamline your work?"

And please please can we not have a bunch of speculative armchair diagnoses. I appreciate that he could have all manner of issues and difficulties but we're a progressive office and I'm a Nice Lady and it's on him to tell us and say what support he needs. Not sneak off and ask our secretary to cover for him.

OP posts:
AmberDino · 31/10/2019 07:19

I have similar issues - work in a "flexible" workplace. Cue people turning up at 11am and leaving at 3pm...whilst their teammates come in at 9am and work till 3am to get the work done.

Meanwhile, not wanting to sound like a dick but asking people to come in earlier... definitely easier not being a manager.

Your colleague's three hour naps did make me laugh though Halloween Grin

BlueJava · 31/10/2019 07:24

I know what you mean! 3 hour naps though - OMG! What a cheek.

Mollpop · 31/10/2019 07:35

You have my sympathy. There are a lot of positives to line managing but you always get the self absorbed dickheads. Over 80% of my time is spent managing one person and 20% on the other 10.
Make sure your PIP's watertight. Is he ever off sick?

Personally, I'd class the three hour sleep as gross misconduct, take witness statements from the secretary and anyone else who knew and issue a written warning.

AmazingAardvark · 31/10/2019 07:39

Sympathy here OP. I hate being a manager and my team aren’t even all that difficult. In my case management above me are complete loons, which doesn’t help.
There are rewarding aspects to it though and hopefully once this situation is resolved you’ll feel more positive about it again!

AJPTaylor · 31/10/2019 07:44

Jesus. I never had that one. Had plenty of others though. I have a whole section on my team leader training that I do about how the people you lead really aren't like you! I had one member of staff openly tell me how she had sussed the Bradford factor (readily available on the staff intranet) and I would never catch her out and that her score would always be on the right side and that she would take what she was entitled to Shock.
I took delight in her face when I wrote this all down, asked her to sign the minutes and reminded her about the behavuiors she was being monitored on.

RaymondReddington · 31/10/2019 07:55

Sorry you’re going it through it this week. On the bright side, tomorrow is Friday Grin

I’ve been a manager for years. It is ridiculous what some adults think they can do and then not realise that there are consequences. My examples include:

Hmm throwing scrap metal into a skip they can’t see, blindly “hoping” it reaches the skip and not the pedestrian walkway.

Confused squaring up to an individual who is a foot shorter and 4 stone lighter than the other person, and then saying they felt threatened when shorter/lighter person called them a knob from across the factory (or some other light hearted name)

Hmm smoking in a highly flammable section of our workplace and stating they didn’t know how the cigarette got in their hand.

Confused person submitting a 12 page grievance which literally came down to them not receiving a return to work interview by their manager and being asked how they were. It was resolved within seconds when I asked how they were

Don’t even get me started on office staff and their woes and worries about: office temperature, food at desk, kitchen cleaning, flexible working. I want to shout - YOU ARE ADULTS, SORT IT OUT YOURSELVES! Wink

Calic0 · 31/10/2019 08:00

I manage a team across two sites and I’ve got one who I am convinced doesn’t turn up on a regular basis! Another who is crap at her job but as soon as you mention performance management develops some form of condition. It’s not just you and not just your team, some people are just workshy twats!

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 31/10/2019 08:05

3hr nap must equal disciplinary? Why not? This is someone with a secretary?? Ie senior mgt? At very least I would have him off to occupational health for a check up

EBearhug · 31/10/2019 08:10

I'd class the three hour sleep as gross misconduct, take witness statements from the secretary and anyone else who knew and issue a written warning.

Yes. If it's been going on for months, I 'd want to know why the secretary hadn't raised it sooner - has he been pressuring her in some way, or has she been colluding in it willingly?

Peony99 · 31/10/2019 08:33

I manage one like that.

We've had a fairly busy period. Not insane, though, and we're all paid more than enough to mean that we shouldn't quibble about working after 5pm.

One bloke keeps turning up at 10am because he 'feels under the weather after being busy'.

I've suggested going to the doctor but he admits he's not properly ill, just 'needs a rest'.

FFS the rest of the team are pulling their weight, as am I at 7 months pregnant.

PumpkinPie2016 · 31/10/2019 08:41

Sympathy here too OP.

Most of the time, I enjoy being in leadership but at times it can be draining.

I feel out of a large team that most are great but there are two in particular who take up so much time and energy! They are also the type who won't accept any solutions offered!

It's tough at times!

TheGoatIsHere · 31/10/2019 09:13

People management is one of the reasons I left permanent employment 20 years ago and became a freelance contractor. Not had to manage anyone or do a performance review in 20 years - bliss.

StayClassySally · 31/10/2019 09:23

What the fuck! How is that not a case for instant dismissal?

adaline · 31/10/2019 09:26

Sympathy here too!

I'm struggling at the moment with staff not doing their job and getting stroppy when effectively told to grow up and do as they're told!

I also have an ineffective manager above me with a short temper and therefore everyone comes to me with their complaints as they don't like speaking to him!

Argh - and I've only been back off annual leave for a day!

Hollycatberry · 31/10/2019 09:29

People are unbelievable at work. I agree with the sentiment that 80% of your time can be spent on 1 or 2 people at the detriment of everyone else.
I am a deputy manager so to speak, so luckily don't have the hassle of the 121s and performance management but do get a glimpse into the madness. We had one bloke who arrived at work 9am, saw the senior managers were in a meeting and snuck off to the gym for an hour. I reported that as he clearly did it because he saw the opportunity rather than a flexi working thing. He was really lazy as well.
I've another who plays on his phone openly in front of me, but puts it down when my (male) manager comes back.
I do wonder whether some male employees really resent reporting into female managers as well and don't give the respect they would to a male manager.

thecatsthecats · 31/10/2019 09:40

You have my sympathy. It really sucks that so many career paths expect management as part of development.

I have the shit position of having earned a senior position, and been put in charge of managing a man who:

  • used to be my manager
  • bullied staff previously (not me - I was one of his favourites)
  • swore at the CEO
  • had hour long shouting rants at his previous manager
  • was promoted repeatedly by said manager to 'encourage' him - but has barely ever shown aptitude or deep talent, let alone cooperative, inspiring behaviour fitting to his role

Now after years of him being mishandled and treated with kid gloves this fucknugget is my responsibility!

Fortunately our new CEO really has his number and backs me to the hilt, but it still doesn't affect the knot in my stomach.

adaline · 31/10/2019 09:40

I do wonder whether some male employees really resent reporting into female managers as well and don't give the respect they would to a male manager.

I've definitely found this to be the case. I have one male employee who goes crying to my (male) senior manager whenever I have to speak to him about anything!

He absolutely hates when I pull him up over poor behaviour, poor performance or indeed anything at all Hmm

Hollycatberry · 31/10/2019 09:56

I have one male employee who goes crying to my (male) senior manager whenever I have to speak to him about anything

Jesus, how childish. There's a tonne of misogyny out there by the sort of men that say things like 'I'm not being told what to do by her'. Yet are happy to respect another man telling them what to do or that their work isn't good enough. I note that a lot of the horror stories on this thread are about men too.

AnybodyWantAChip · 31/10/2019 10:14

Keep an eye on his time sheet - maybe he's claiming for his overnight sleeping too!

MitziK · 31/10/2019 13:50

I doubt the secretary is 'colluding' with him. She's more likely thinking he's a complete knob but if she says anything, he'll make her life a misery because managers always get away with taking the piss. Especially if he's also her line manager.

I wouldn't grass up the person I work for either because of that. You still have to work for them after they've got away with it.

RosesAndLilies · 31/10/2019 14:25

Treat everyone fairly
Know your team & be approachable. Be able to recognise those who need support versus those taking the #%%#
Document everything
Ensure performance management/disciplinary procedures are followed correctly
Remember that managing up/out can be very time consuming but it's worth it for the end result

Original poster
Onlytodaythisname · 31/10/2019 17:45

Thanks for the sympathy. I know what to do and thankfully have sane upper management.

Most of the time I enjoy the leadership element but yeah, as someone mentioned above, it's draining to have to deal with someone who's essentially acting like a six-year-old.

OP posts:
adaline · 01/11/2019 18:29

Just bumping this to have a whinge!

Does anyone else find it really difficult when your department is generally not happy? I'm a retail manager and we're not doing very well (as a business) at the moment and there's a lot of micromanaging and complaining coming from head office as a result (Aimed at the whole company not just our team) and as a result I have an unhappy team of staff who complain constantly!

Add into that the shit weather and I just don't want to go to work at the moment - it just makes me feel shit!

HappyHarlot · 01/11/2019 18:44

I recently moved from a management job. I didn't enjoy it. People are my least favourite species at the best of times.

user1471453601 · 01/11/2019 18:46

Are you my DD? If so, hi DD, didn't know you were on this site!

If not,op, you have my deepest sympathies. I always say to dd, as a manager no one ever comes to you to tell you everything is great and going to plan. They only ever come to you with the problems. The good ones also come with potential solutions.

The ones that cause the problems (who thinks it's ok to sleep for three hours during a working day?) they are the ones to watch.

The pareto rule applies. 20% of your staff will cause you 80% of your problems