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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Are instead of our

25 replies

Billiboo · 31/10/2019 03:13

Does this drive anyone else mad? People using ‘are’ instead of ‘our’?

‘We took are Emily to the beach today’ - what?!

How hard can it be?

OP posts:

shearwater · 31/10/2019 03:31

In speech or writing?

Why would someone's accent annoy you so much?

Original poster

Billiboo · 31/10/2019 03:36

In writing @shearwater. No ones accent bothers me in the slightest

OP posts:

shearwater · 31/10/2019 03:51

I wouldn't be bothered about what someome has written online. In formal writing it could be annoying, but more so for the person who can't write in Standard English, I would have thought.

Topseyt · 31/10/2019 03:58

Yes, drives me nuts too.

SuperMeerkat · 31/10/2019 04:22

I don’t like ‘our Emily’ anyway so YANBU. Are you Northern @Billiboo It sounds like some from Corrie.

SuperMeerkat · 31/10/2019 04:22

*something

shearwater · 31/10/2019 04:29

Are you Northern?

Gosh, how dreadful to be whispers Northern.

siacolouredthesmallone · 31/10/2019 04:41

@SuperMeerkat please tell me you are not so lacking in self-awareness that you didn't just re-read your post in horror and think "Fuck....I thought I was just thinking my idiotic prejudices in my head but it seems I as accidentally typing at the same time! God I look like a dick!! How can I get that shit removed before too many folk read it??"

TheClaws · 31/10/2019 04:55

Isn’t this simply regional difference? This should be preserved, not ridiculed. Do you want everyone to be vanilla? Personally, I love hearing different expressions and pronunciations - this is what makes us just one part of the jigsaw puzzle that is the human race.

Henrysmycat · 31/10/2019 07:01

Some people never paid attention in school.
This belongs to the Spag Bowl, “would/could/should of” and “is Parking aloud here?” Wall of Fame.

ProfYaffle · 31/10/2019 07:09

I'm whispers Northern. I remember a teacher a primary school pointing this out and asking us all to remember that 'our' was correct.

After he explained that it was down to our accent we were all really shocked - hadn't realised we had an accent at all before that.

Butternutsqoosh · 31/10/2019 07:28

I get what you mean as in "look at are lovely pumpkins we picked today" Grrrrr 🎃 I have one friend who uses are when spelling out all the time and I hate looking at it!

Spam88 · 31/10/2019 07:59

My DHs northern (gasp!) family do this. It amuses me, like it's so ingrained in them to say 'our' before people's names that they don't even register what it is it's supposed to mean.

Justapatchofgrass · 31/10/2019 08:27

Yes, Lets ban all regional dialects. RP only from now on.

They are not saying are, they are saying our but with a dialect.

SafetyAdvice0FeedWhenAgitated · 31/10/2019 08:27

Well, ourn't you having interesting thoughts about grammar at 3AM😁

FairyBatman · 31/10/2019 08:32

I’m northern but don’t worry my whippet is firmly shut in with t’pidgeons.

In speech it’s very common up here to pronounce our as ‘are’ although to many non-northerners there’s no difference, if you’re tuned in to the accent you can hear the difference. In writing it’s just irritating!

bellinisurge · 31/10/2019 08:38

I'm a northerner. I don't care if people say "our [insert name]. They can even write it. It's writing "are" instead of "are" that's the problem. And it's not really a problem. Some people are shit at spelling and grammar.

SallyCinnamon3009 · 31/10/2019 08:39

Drives me mental was saying this yesterday! Have to sit on my hands to stop myself correcting it!

It's almost as annoying as people saying pacifically

Ellisandra · 31/10/2019 08:41

Nobody in the history of the world ever, has sat down to type on Facebook and thought to themselves “now I know the correct word here is the possessive pronoun ‘our’, but you know what? I’m just going to stick in the verb ‘are’ instead”.

When someone uses ‘are’ for ‘our’ they are either accidentally mixing up two homonyms (in many accents) or they do not realise that they made the wrong choice.

I never ever look at that and feel critical of the person.
It takes a particular kind of snobby arsehole to do so, frankly @Billiboo

I might think that the education that person received was below standard. Or that it was a good standard for most but it wasn’t something that person grasped. But I would not feel personally critical of them.

As to the question “how hard can it be?”

Well, aren’t you the lucky one @Billiboo that you don’t know how genuinely hard it can be, for some people?

KitNCaboodle · 31/10/2019 08:42

I’m a southerner and a few of my southern friends do this too. I think the example the OP gave is a northern saying and so it’s being jumped on, when really it’s about grammar and not about north/south.

I agree. Our/are confusion is becoming more and more prevalent, as well as loose/lose, your/you’re. It actually drives me a little bit bananas.

MikeUniformMike · 31/10/2019 08:44

It's just wrong. In my accent they don't sound the same.

Mollpop · 31/10/2019 08:46

I've never known anyone to do this

SallyCinnamon3009 · 31/10/2019 08:47

Just to add I am northern and do t mind it one bit verbally it's when it's written as "taking are car to the garage" that I can't stand

boredorboard · 31/10/2019 08:50

Sadly some people (wherever they live) just don't know the difference.

The other one I often see on here is "I seen that" instead of "I saw that". Is this a regional dialect thing? Honest question from a SE England resident. It grates every time I read it

MzHz · 31/10/2019 09:15

I love the “our kid” etc thing, it’s something so intimate. We lack that in the south.

There isn’t an excuse for writing are instead of our

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