To not go out for friends birthday

[ConfusedAndStressed95]

It's my friends birthday in Leeds and he's asked a load of us to go out drinking/clubbing with him to celebrate. Not my sort of thing but it's his birthday so his choice.
But I'm really really anxious about it. I've never been clubbing really where we live there is limited options, I've never been to this city and I don't know what to wear or what to expect. I'd be travelling there and back with at least one person I'm friends with but I don't know anyone else who's going and I've no idea what I'm supposed to wear.
I would like to see my friend and spend time with him but the idea of going is filling me with dread. I don't do make up, fancy hair, heels or clothes and I've no idea what I'm going to do. But I think I should go because he'd do the same for me. But I don't want to stick out like a sore thumb.
Disclaimer, I have high functioning autism so this sort of thing is a bit of a minefield for me.

What clothes do you usually wear?

Post on the mumsnet style talk forum. They will love this challenge! Set yourself a budget and a timeframe. It’s possible to dress up to go out but still follow your own style. Get this sorted ASAP so you don’t have the anxiety ruining the build up to your trip.
Have fun.

@Jennifer2r, t shirt and jeans, checked shirt with a vest top and leggings, a nice dressy top with a jacket/cardi/blazer and leggings or a jumper dress with leggings.

I don't own heels, I can walk in them though so I could buy some and I'd need to buy a handbag because I don't own one. I'm not prepared to buy a load of makeup I won't use again but I could buy mascara and natural lipstick if I needed to but I don't like concealer or anything all over my face.

@outherealone, awesome will do. I really think I should go because he's a good friend and I think it's important to say yes to opportunities when I can but it's a massive amount of stress.

You absolutely don't need heels, I go out all the time in Leeds and Manchester and I've never worn heels in my life. Boots, pumps, trainers, are all fine.

I'd go with leggings or jeans and a nice dressy top or a jumper dress. Feel free to pm me photos.

I go out a lot, and I will say there will always be plenty of women more dressed up than you, with better hair and matchy matchy outfits. They're not looking at you or thinking about you. Go and be there for your friend on their birthday.

You also don't need make up, I promise it won't make a difference. I don't wear make up. Maybe borrow a little bag or buy a cheap one from primark or asda.

Its helpful to think what's the key purpose of your night? Keep reminding yourself.

1. Be their for your friend
2. Have fun

Your aims definitely don't include impressing random people, making it onto a list of Leeds best dressed.

That’s what I want to do @Jennifer2r. I’m not concerned really about the people I don’t know but I’m concerned I’ll look the odd one out when I’m with the group. Just as I don’t really know a lot of them and I’m incredibly awkward. I don’t have any black or suitable shoes do it’s not really a massive pain buying a pair or shoes. Not sure at all about the makeup thing but eyeliner is easy enough to apply. Not sure how I feel about lipstick or anything else. Plus my hair has one style and one style only but I think I’m at least good enough at pretending to be confident that it won’t matter in the long term really.

These are the tops I’d wear and a jumper dress. The tops I’d either wear with a coral cardigan or black blazer and black leggings. I wear one diamond and onyx ring on my right hand but I think if I’m wearing something low I ought to wear a necklace of some sort so may buy one somewhere. Plus a handbag and blister plasters. Plus alcohol to drink before I go so I’m at least somewhat relaxed before getting the train.

That jumper dress with tights and a pair of black shoes is going to work in most places tbh. Little black bag. If your aim is to not 'stand out'.

My aim is to get in and just enjoy it as much as I can. But I don’t really want to draw too much attention. What colour tights would work best with it? I’ve also got these jumpers. The first one is in purple though.

I live in Leeds op. You are going to be boiling in a jumper dress in a nightclub op! However just be yourself. Wear what you feel comfortable in as you will have a much better night. There will be people in all sorts of outfits.

@minesagin37, I've found a red top in my wardrobe that could work but it's very low cut. I'm probably going to take a jumper with me regardless though because we're traveling from York and I'll freeze on the way back. Most likely the jumper in the picture above with the zip. I don't mind as I'll be able to hook it over a handbag.

Good choice. Have a great night.

Talking of low cut sometimes those little lace top vests work well under low cut tops and add contrast.

I agree with the poster who said NOT the jumper dress. You will be far too hot. Layers are your friend so the top and blazer would be better. Have a lovely time

I wore the red top, leggings and ankle boots with chunky heels. I did take a jumper with me though as we had an hours travel each way so I didn't want to freeze.

Yay, op. Well done. I hope you enjoyed it.

Thanks @FarTooMuchWashing, it was fun enough but not something I want to do regularly. It really isn’t my thing at all but I’m glad I went and my friend was happy I’d made the effort knowing it’s not something I enjoy.