To want support from workplace. I cant cope with this situation any longer - long sorry!

[LivinLaVidaLoki]

I work in a fairly specialist area. We recently underwent a restructure and I have a new line manager.
I have been in post for 18 months. In the 18 months I've been there I'm really proud that I've made some really good progress in a lot of areas, and am making excellent strides to improve others, this has also been recognised by lots of senior management.
He has previously fulfilled a similar role to what he has now but in a different sector so whilst some of the skills are transferable, he has no context or knowledge about the sector and doesnt feel he needs to learn.
He has taken the work I've done and replaced it with procedures and systems that dont reflect the services and completely disregards any input I have, as he knows best. Hes done all of this work completely on his own and just presented it as "this is what we are doing now so just do it".
The main problem is, we have done this before (the dept, not me, it was just before I started) and it didn't work.
So now I can feel all the progress I've made just being blown away, it's all already starting to go wrong but he won't budge. He is on a temporary contract so when it's all completely blown up, I'm going to be the one picking up the pieces and starting again.
Now as if that's not complicated enough, he has mental health problems and recently told me this means he can't manage me. I raised this with his manager as I was worried about him and she said shes supporting him all she can.
In the meantime, I've had no guidance or supervisions, no one to ones or anything.
We had a new starter and I had to sort her induction plans and work plan etc as he couldn't and he didnt even come in on her first day.
There are also numerous things that he is supposed to be doing but hasn't or won't so I'm having to do those too.
His decision making on things I need him to sign off is erratic and not consistent and pretty much just depends on how he feels that day.
I am exhausted. I've not slept all week as working this way and trying to manage this whole situation is so stressful I cannot switch off. I'm so shattered I've been too tired to do anything fun with my son after work.
I've raised how this is was affecting me a few weeks ago with his manager and her response was that hes a man so he thinks differently but now the whole situation has deteriorated and I feel I've nowhere to turn.
Due to my complete lack of sleep I'm contemplating taking tomorrow off as leave, getting some rest and trying to put together a coherent plan, but then I think should I just go in and get it out the way, but then I think I cant face it. I'm too fucking tired and I've not the energy.

I think you need to request a meeting with your manager & HR: Your main concern being a) the new procedures that were tried before & didn't work & b) the impact of his health on your workload. Otherwise it sounds like your manager is just going to ride out the storm til his contract ends, by which time you'll be on your knees.

Is "he" senior management? I can't understand who this guy is. Is he acting up in a temporary role as your manager?

tbh, the lack of reliability sounds like ordinary corporate life to me.
The overwork, stuff getting dumped on your lap, I'd focus on reducing that.
It's nice that you care so much about your job being done right.

@Iljkk he's a line manager.

OP is there someone more senior you can speak to above the person you have already approached?

Is your role one that has accountability for the welfare of others, I.e. service users? If the answer to that is no, I.e. if this is a private sector sort of job where the goals of the organisation are to make money - then I advise you to take your hands off the wheel and radically rethink how much headspace you're giving this job. The private sector is sisyphean by its very nature. It is normal to reinvent the wheel every year or two. Smile, nod, breathe, and then go home to your child. None of it matters. Your life is finite: do not waste it being concerned with this fuckery, let it burn to the ground if necessary.

If the answer is yes, then document the impact on your served community, and take it over the next boss's head. Keep going until you reach the top. If nothing happens from there, then either push through as above or quit.

No matter what, do not let this job eat you alive. Take sick leave if you must but get your head straight for the sake of your child.

Source: lived experience I'm afraid.

^He has taken the work I've done and replaced it with procedures and systems that dont reflect the services and completely disregards any input I have, as he knows best. Hes done all of this work completely on his own and just presented it as "this is what we are doing now so just do it".
The main problem is, we have done this before (the dept, not me, it was just before I started) and it didn't work.^

Have you told him this, and if so, what was the reaction? I would tell him straight what you have said here - that I've been working really hard to do x and y for the last year and a half and that he can't just come in not knowing shit and repeat past failures then fuck off again leaving you in the shit.

What are the implications to the business if your procedures aren’t followed? Eg losing clients, error rates, cost factors. Your managers manager sounds like a wet blanket. Approach HR to discuss the impact on your work and health. I hope they’re better than this woman, who did a “you know what men are like”. And ffs his mental health is not your problem.

Ultimately you may need to present it to someone, who will listen. Ie senior management. It sounds as if your mental health won’t take much more so if you’re thinking about leaving the job or teetering on needing to go off sick because of it, ultimately you don’t have much to lose.

Wow @rvby. I’ve written what you’ve written in comparison to mine. I’m in awe. Deffo think not giving a shit is a good idea!!

rvby gives excellent advice. I would suggest, if you haven’t already, starting to look for a new job. Both your manager and his manager are treating you poorly (I know his manager is probably in a difficult situation and unable to tell you the truth but what the hell kind of excuse is “He’s a man” for poor job performance?).

If you’re stuck there and feel you need to cover your ass a bit a weekly email to his manager with a report on your work “In liu of supervision” -what you’ve done, what your priorities are, what you intend to do next week, what problems have come up, what you need guidance on to be more effective, what you deserve recognition for, etc.- might give you a paper trail down the line. But it’s not going to get better until he’s gone, if then, so moving on, even internally, is probably a better bet.

I think you either do what rvby says, decide it isn't worth the effort, disengage and start looking for another job.

Or decided actually that you do really care about this job, get angry, assertive and fight for things to be done better.

If it’s not your job to manage a new starter; don’t. You can sympathise with her that it’s a real shame her manager didn’t come in that day, but you don’t need to take over his role as manager. She would then need to tell HR or a more senior manager that she has a problem.
If your manager isn’t doing his job, don’t cover for him. Find someone to report your results to instead (his manager?) and say what impact his lack of management is having.
Don’t stress, it’s only work, don’t take it home.

If this dude eventually leaves/gets managed out, would you want to step into his role?

If so, keep covering your arse and stick it through.

If not, fuck that. Stop doing anything that's not in your job description and actively look for another job. You're getting paid way less than him (assumedly) and are taking on massively more of the workload.

Thanks for the replies.
The flip flop decision making is an issue as the work we do has an impact on peoples lives and he often flip flops on the same thing. I cant give an actual example but for instance if I go to him with "I'm ready to give johnny some blue sweets can you sign it off" he will say "actually the procedure I've written says we need to give johnny red sweets". I ask if hes sure he says to do it then the next day "have you given johnny his blue sweets".
I have advised him that the stuff he is doing has been done before and not worked so made a few suggestions to help him (as I say he doesnt understand the service) and his response to that was to completely cut me out until the very end of the process (even though hes my line manager we are supposed to be working together with each other and our partners to do this piece of work).
The thing is, up to now, I loved my job. Its fulfilling and while it can be hard at times its rewarding and I feel like I'm doing something that makes a difference. To be honest I've no interest in moving up into his job when hes gone. I just want to do what I do and do it well. Also that's not an option anyway as his stint in our dept is temporary and I dont think there are plans to keep the post (the whole setup is weird).
I thought about it last night and I'm going to email the head of service. Put it all down in writing, dates incidents and the effect its having on my health. Explain that I've previously raised it with his manager and things are just getting worse. Then see what she comes back with.
evenmorefuriousvexation he is three pay grades above me.

shear every day I fight so hard to get the right thing done, that's why I'm now utterly shattered.

every day I fight so hard to get the right thing done, that's why I'm now utterly shattered.
Why do you need to? I don't want to sound harsh but I was in this position fairly recently because my line manager changed from someone that knew the industry very well to someone who doesn't. It was pretty stressful, but I have since decided that's the way they want it to be and perhaps it's their new strategic direction and they want a fresh perspective so I stopped caring so much rather than getting stressed.

In the nicest possible way perhaps you have to stop caring so much - it's not worth it and they won't lose sleep over you. Perhaps it's time to move on to somewhere else.

he has mental health problems and recently told me this means he can't manage me

Really? I wonder what his diagnosis is. Misogyny, perhaps, or is there some other disorder of the mind that renders him unable to deal with competent, confident women?

He sounds bloody awful, OP.

bluejava I fight because what we do has an impact on the lives of others. If we don't get it right its others that will end up paying the price.

I’ve chosen to step back from giving a shit, and it’s done wonders for my mental health and well-being. I still do an excellent job but have stopped arguing with management about what the customer wants or needs. It’s above my pay grade. I do my work, go home, and enjoy my family and hobbies.

take some time off, let the changes he made fail

Your decision to email the head of service is the right one. CC in HR and your union official. Absolutely stop doing his work. He is coasting while you actually suffer because of his arrogance and incompetence and probable laziness.

Also...your previously excellent reputation will be taking a dive because of this prick.

Not the NHS by any chance is it? Sounds scarily familiar! Make sure you keep evidence, email trails, documentation etc of the flip flopping on decisions. Document whenever he has not been available to do his job or just failed to do it. Basically cover your own arse in case he decides to turn this back on you - I’ve seen that happen before!

Sounds horrendous.
I think you need a meeting, with more than one person present. And notes taken. Ask Manager above line manger? For a meeting and to include HR?

Realistically though, even then, they aren't going to change, are they?

I feel sympathy for anyone with mental health problems but they shouldn’t be a reason for making your life at work harder. I’d document everything on email and when the shit hits the fan you have proof that the changes were in your opinion wrong.

As for excusing his behaviour because he’s a man - that’s shit. I’m sure a lot of us have worked with people who are experts at looking great for a short time as long as they’re getting to call the shots. If he’s on a short term contract and no one is prepared to manage him properly of course he’ll feel like the big I am. Keep written records and protect yourself from the fall out. No job is worth your sanity.

Yes, stop covering for him.