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AIBU?

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Original poster

When a girl plays with Barbie...

60 replies

humbugbug · 31/10/2019 00:00

Anyone else seen this advert showing a little girl pretending to be a professor. I was never really into dolls, but can definitely say that Barbie and her unattainably bizarre proportions only ever made me feel inadequate.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 31/10/2019 00:02

Well at least Barbies job prospects have improved

2toe · 31/10/2019 00:33

We look at Barbie in a different way, she’s obviously very intelligent with all those careers, loves animals, takes care of her sisters, has diverse friends, she owns many houses, cars, a plane, a camper van, boat, she owns a few businesses and happily lives alone but enjoys spending time with Ken.
Barbie is an independent, intelligent, caring single woman and is absolutely a sister doing it for herself!

TyneTeas · 31/10/2019 00:48

Has much/anything changed since this?

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7920962.stm

user1473878824 · 31/10/2019 00:50

To be honest are we all still playing into this idea that none of us parent our children enough that if they have a Barbie that’s all they think they can be?

TyneTeas · 31/10/2019 01:04

It doesn't help though really

ILearnedItFromABook · 31/10/2019 01:22

I enjoyed playing with Barbies as a child (in the 80s). As an adult, I'm (obviously?) nowhere near her proportions, but I never felt inadequate because of that.

Also, my dolls were just dolls (in a variety of skin tones and hair/eye colours)-- no careers assigned by the manufacturers. (I think that may have come after I grew out of dolls, or maybe the "career Baries" were more expensive...) I don't remember whether or not I thought much about what my dolls' careers were. I think I tended to imagine them out having adventures and doing fun things rather than working, for the most part. (Back in the days when I believed that being adult would be one long party!) They may have been doctors/nurses or teachers, on occasion...

Anyway, I don't really see the harm in a Barbie. What you teach them is much more important than whether or not they play with Barbie dolls.

Everafter1 · 31/10/2019 01:31

I loved Barbie's when I was little.
I can't say I felt inadequate as I was just a child and looked at my barbies as "grown ups". Wasn't into baby dolls & playing house so barbie was more relatable.
They brought me a lot of happy times through imagination, escapism. They all had different roles, some were nice, some assholes and I gave some punky skin heads & pierced their noses with earrings 😂 ... the nostalgia.

Seen one in a shop recently & thought "awk where's her great big chebs went" 😂 it's all changing.

fallfallfall · 31/10/2019 01:34

I loved dressing her up, she had lovely fun clothing and accessories. No, never felt inadequate, it never occurred to me that her proportions were ideal. No more so than wanting to be as talented as Nadia komenichi.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 31/10/2019 01:41

No cant say barbie (or sindy for that matter) ever made me feel inadequate. She was just a doll to me.

I dont ever really recall mine having careers either... they just had really complicated love triangles instead.

Bluerussian · 31/10/2019 01:41

I love that advert, I'm glad it's being used again this year because I was so taken with it last year. It's very positive, gives a whole new slant to playing with those dolls.

Elbowedout · 31/10/2019 01:46

I was horrified when my first DD started to ask for Barbies as I had very idealistic plans regarding what toys I would "allow". However I had reckoned without the outside world. There were Barbies at her friends' houses, at nursery, even at her paternal grandparents' house and she desperately wanted her own.

Against my better judgement I caved in. She ended up with at least half a dozen that all lived in a massive wooden dolls' house that my DH made. She enjoyed playing make believe and despite my fears nothing bad really happened. She is now a very capable and feisty young woman who is making quite a success of her chosen career so far. Whilst I still loathe those dolls, I don't think her Barbie phase caused any lasting damage. She grew up with plenty of strong female role models of all shapes, sizes and colours. The real women in her life influenced her a lot more than the plastic ones. I would like to see more realistically proportioned dolls, but ultimately I think real world influences are far more important.

TyneTeas · 31/10/2019 01:47

What is the boy equivalent aspirational toy?

isabellerossignol · 31/10/2019 01:53

I loved Barbie when I was wee, and I can't say she ever made me feel inadequate. I don't think I found her aspirational as I always knew she was stupidly unrealistic (my mum had been very reluctant to allow the dolls).

I'll not lie though, I did breathe a sigh of relief when my own daughter had zero interest in her.

Fastandfree · 31/10/2019 05:56

I loved my barbies, they never made me feel inadequate. Even at 7yo I knew they were toys and never wanted to look like them. My 4yo is just starting to play with barbies, itll be a while until shes really into them. We do watch barbie on tv, barbie is super clever, so kind and a lovely sister on there, happy for my dd to watch it

StinkGhoul · 31/10/2019 06:13

That advert has been around for a while and gets brought out every year, and makes me cross every time.

I guess barbie teaches girls they can be anything besides short / realistically proportioned 🤷‍♀️

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 31/10/2019 06:21

Most toys are unrealistic proportioned. They are toys.

Despite her body shaped, Barbie can be a great feminist role model. I cringed a bit when my DDs got their first Barbie dvd. But... In every film she solves a problem, has a different career and saved the day without a man's help. She's been a superhero, a secret agent, a sports star, a space traveller and a fantastic big sister.

chippychip1 · 31/10/2019 06:30

As a child I adored Barbie & played with her for years. Was not remotely interested in playing with baby dolls or other toys. Barbie never made me feel inadequate, I never compared myself to her. I just loved dressing her, I did end up working in fashion for many years!

Howzaboutye · 31/10/2019 06:32

Actually, Barbie has biceps now, and no thigh gap. Yes she's still too tall, but actually not too skinny anymore.

Judgybitch · 31/10/2019 06:39

I recommend the barbie episode of 'the toys that made us' which documents her history. She was originally based on a prostitute doll from Denmark ( think it was denmark) there were very limited toys for girls at the time mostly baby dolls. Barbie was a 3d replacement for the paper cut out fashion drawings so she is originally a fashion doll. This is what is used to explain her weird proportions as she is designed to look good in her bulky scales down clothes.

So she was designed to be aspirational but was rather of it's day.

I personally never liked dolls of any kind (find them weird) but it has given me some perspective and now I wouldn't necessary be as resistant to my children having them now. As long as there was other options too.

Userzzzzz · 31/10/2019 06:44

mt 3 year old loves her barbie and just sees it as another doll. She’s loved dolls since she was a baby really and I think she’ll play with them for years. Her Barbie is a mermaid. I doubt she’s going to feel inadequate because she doesn’t have a tail.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 31/10/2019 06:44

I loved playing with dolls as a child! I would use them to act out scenes from books like secret seven. Never once really thought about her appearance and had a mix of barbies (and budget versions of) and action men they were just little actors to me

FaithInfinity · 31/10/2019 06:49

I gave DD my old Sindy house two years ago. We had all sorts including the furniture and cars. She loves it! DD loves science so we bought her a scientist Barbie and lab! Turns out Barbie has changed shape so much the new one can’t fit in the old clothes. It’s imaginative play. I can’t get too worked up about it all!

icecreamsundae32 · 31/10/2019 06:51

@TyneTeas I'd say boy equivalents are all the superhero figures. My son has all the marvel and guardians of galaxy figures. Sure he'd love to be a superhero but he knows they aren't real and he plays imaginatively for hours with them!

I had barbies and I don't ever remember thinking I need to look like barbie or that is how women should look... she was just a doll I played imaginatively with.

SmileCheese · 31/10/2019 06:58

I would argue that if barbie ever made a child feel inadequate that it wasn't the barbie doll doing that it was the child's home life or other experiences. The barbie was just another addition to the messages the child was getting about their looks etc from others and a convenient place to lay the blame for not feeling good enough.

For 99% of children myself included, a barbie doll was simply a toy which you could use to act out realistic and fantasy situations and develop a greater imagination.

Ziraphale · 31/10/2019 06:58

I absolutely loved Barbie as a kid and I'm really impressed with the direction she's gone in. I'd have no problem with my daughter having Barbie dolls when she's older.

Barbie Dreamhouse Adventures is a staple cartoon in our house, she loves it and I find it has quite nice family values and promotes girls in STEM, female friendship and girls supporting each other.