Hi ladies(and gents)
Might be a bit long but I can’t go anywhere else for advice. I appreciate anyone reading and giving me any advice. My DH and I had an argument some weeks ago and he went to stay with his brother. I thought it was for the best so we could both calm down. While he’s been there he’s been to see the kids a few times but always seemed busy, too busy to help out, too busy to pick the 3DC up from school or do anything really. Anyway we were texting and he wants to come home, I want him to come home because I love him with all my heart and I have severe mental and physical disabilities so it’s been rough for me the past few weeks. But it turns out that while at his brothers, he’s found himself a job, cash in hand. Now due to my disabilities I’m on benefits, while I do physio therapy and group therapy for my problems. The thing is DH is refusing to leave the job and says he will only come home if he keeps the job. Well I’m adamant that I will not commit benefit fraud under any circumstances and his side wage is not enough to pay rent etc, so he won’t come home. He says I’m being paranoid and stupid and we won’t get caught, well that’s ok for him to say, the claim is in my name and I could go to prison but he hasn’t taken that into account at all, in fact, it hurts me so much that he would risk my freedom just to keep a job. I’ve asked him to get a legitimate job but he won’t. I’ve asked him to wait until I’ve had my mental/physical health sorted so we can both work and still he says no, he’s keeping this job. It’s a cash in hand job so he’s obviously not paying tax either and honestly I’m tempted to snitch on him myself. I feel like asking to come home and keep his job and then snitching on him myself but I’m scared I’ll still get into trouble and he may find out I snitched. I have told him that while he has the job we can’t be together and he said ok, and stayed at his brothers. Am I being unreasonable? I just don’t know what to do, in fact I’m so angry I can’t even speak to him at the moment. He says he loves me but I’m starting to think if he did he would never risk me going to prison or even a criminal record for benefit fraud and he would never choose a side job over the mother of his children. I just don’t know what to do because I love him but he’s not backing down. He had to leave his last legitimate job because of my health problems and I didn’t even want to claim benefits at all, so the last thing I’d ever do is commit fraud, that’s just not an option for me at all. Ladies help me please.