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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU for not telling my DH he is going bald...

15 replies

2girls3dogs · 30/10/2019 18:01

Going bald is literally my DH’s worst nightmare. I cut his hair regularly and so I get up close and personal. Over the past year it has got thinner at the back of his head and his hairline at the front is receding slightly. There’s not doubt in my mind that he will eventually go bald.

It’s only a matter of time before he knows surely? I’m surprised he doesn’t know already - but he actually doesn’t know. He’s started conversations over the years and as recent as last week like ‘if I start going bald I’m going to get hair implants’ etc. His Dad is totally bald as is one of his brothers. I’d like to point out that I don’t care, but he does really care and that’s what’s bothering me. I feel like I know a big secret and I just can’t bring myself to tell him as he’ll be devastated! I’m hoping over more time he’ll just get used to the idea?

OP posts:

19lottie82 · 30/10/2019 18:03

Of course YANBU, what would be the point of telling him?

Ghikknv · 30/10/2019 18:04

YANBU. Just pretend you hadn’t noticed if he does and calls you out on it.

blaaake · 30/10/2019 18:25

Can he afford a hair transplant? If not don't tell him. If he can, there's nothing he can do yet anyway if it's only just starting to thin. So don't tell him. YANBU

MichonnesBBF · 30/10/2019 18:35

It took my husband along time to accept he was going bald, if I tried to mention it he would deny it and say "I'm not it's a double crown,"

His hair was his pride and joy would spend time getting it just right and I must admit he suited having hair.

One day I came in and it was gone number 2 all over, it was a shock I asked him why? and he replied "I'm starting to look a fool styling my hair at the front when there is nothing at the back".

He was right and the bald look now really suits him, hopefully your partner will accept it with time (his own time)

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 30/10/2019 18:37

I have exactly this with my best friend.

However I noticed he was thinning 15 years ago, I told him in passing and he freaked out! I back tracked.

He hasn't thinned any more since, it's just stayed the same.

It is in his genes though.

Hont1986 · 30/10/2019 18:49

I think you should tell him asap in case he wants to start taking medicine for it.

TonTonMacoute · 30/10/2019 18:52

Oh no account tell him unless he asks for your opinion.

666onmyhead · 30/10/2019 19:00

Regaine for Christmas ( from Santa)

PepsiCat33 · 30/10/2019 19:12

My DH is losing his hair. He gets very upset about it frequently. I never ever say anything in agreement - I just say 'well I like your hair' and tell him not to worry. Theres nothing he can do and it already upsets him so I don't see the point in adding to it by agreeing with him or telling him! Dont mention it if he doesn't. He probably already knows despite what he says and doesn't want to think about it. I liken it to me going grey and not being able to do anything about it - I'd hate it and certainly wouldn't want it pointed out to me by my husband or anyone else!

EKGEMS · 30/10/2019 21:23

I kept my mouth shut about my husband then I had to tell him on vacay he was sunburnt on his bald spot and he replied "Didn't know I had one!"

Original poster

2girls3dogs · 30/10/2019 23:21

Thank you for your replies. I will stay quiet until or if he mentions it. Like you say, deep down he may know and me saying so will not help.

OP posts:

pigsDOfly · 30/10/2019 23:43

How can someone not know they are going bald?

Does he not notice that hair is coming out on his comb or that his hair just feels thinner when he washes it?

If he's that much in denial just let him get on with it? He probably also think he still looks like he did when he was 19.

Hont1986 · 31/10/2019 11:41

The current anti-baldness medicine works by stopping/slowing hair loss, it doesn't really re-grow hair that has already been lost (in rare cases it does but it's short, 'wispy' hair). If his worst fear is going bald, you really need to tell him now while he has the opportunity to do something about it.

HowlsMovingBungalow · 31/10/2019 11:42

I'm sure he knows about his own head/hairloss.

Hont1986 · 31/10/2019 11:45

He really might not have noticed, the only time a lot of men see the back of their head is when they are shown their haircut by the barber, and in this case his wife is cutting his hair for him, so she might not do that.

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