I know I'm not but just want it confirming :) regarding ex and mortgage

[girlfromthemoon]

So me and an ex bought a house about 14 years ago, we broke up after approx a year and he moved out and I took on the mortgage for a few years, then I moved out and he moved in and took over the mortgage (there was negative equity in the house and neither of us could get a new mortgage in our own name)

He has lived there and been paying the mortgage longer than me overall by a few years.

I contacted him recently and said it was about time we sorted it out, he is married now and I am wanting to look at a Morgage alone in the next year or so.

As far as I'm concerned I am more than happy for any equity to be shared fairly ie 70% him 30% me to reflect his longer time there

But he's being a bit of a dick about it, he hasn't said this but I can tell he thinks I'm being cheeky asking for any equity as he has lived there for a while now

He wants to sell it too so it's not like I'm forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do

I'm not bu to feel entitled to some equity am I?! I just want it to be fair for us both

Also, he can't do anything without my agreement can he? And what would the law say regarding this if we've both paid in different amounts?

He's a fairly decent guy but money always did turn him into a bit of a knob so I'm concerned he's going to make it difficult or try and screw me over somehow

I know how much is left on the mortgage and roughly what it would go for as one next door sold recently, I know this is a rough guide but it's an idea at least

The reason we didn't have a deposit is because we did a deal with the builders where they paid your deposit and you paid them back after a certain amount of years, I have roughly calculated that after fees and paying the builders back there will be roughly 20 grand equity

Sorry to drip feed but I didn't think it was relevant to the point

He could not afford to pay it on his own when we first split, if I hadn't taken it on we would have had to sell at a loss

It was mutually agreed when he moved in that we would do that, I could have remained there but was happy to leave also

I have been paying rent (higher than the mortgage) since I left

Also not sure if it's relevant but he moved into his mums for a while when he left so wasn't actually paying any rent

Maybe I will see about legal advice, I don't want to spur the waters before I need to but it would be good to know where I stand legally

Interestingly when I rang the mortgage company to check what the current balance was she told me it was in arrears, I didn't ask by how much as the line went dead, so potentially it seems for however long, neither of us have been paying the mortgage

I will find out how much is owed when I can but even though it is in my name and the debt is mine too it feels a bit wrong to go behind his back!

I'm not too worried regarding the impact on my credit rating because it's already through the floor but if he's struggling to pay it I need to know and we need to be sorting it out!!

You are not going behind his back if the mortgage is jointly in your name, it is responsible to do die diligence. You may owe rather than be entitled to equity. Yanbu imo legally, morally I’m not so sure even though you did him a massive favour and put yourself at risk for remaining on the mortgage

You've made a fair offer. If he gets dickish then revert to 50/50

@girlfromthemoon OMG the mortgage is in arrears. You need to get on top of this immediately. You will lose your house and any equity is already being swallowed up by the arrears.

You are not going behind his back,he has gone behind yours by not paying the mortgage and not telling you!!

I fear this is going to be a very difficult situation and the sooner you sort it the better.

Ha no wonder he wants to keep all the money. There's probably going to be barely any, bet he hasn't been paying for ages.

Would everyone still be paying 50:50 if he'd paid off the mortgage? It's one thing to regard his interest payments as the equivalent of rent, but if he's actually been reducing the debt they are both liable for, that should earn him some consideration, morally.

Perhaps the mortgage is in arrears because since discussions about selling started he's realised 50% of every mortgage payment is going to go into OP's pocket...

@PettyContractor doubtful seen as we only started talking about it less than a week ago

And I have explicitly said to him that I don't expect 50% but the feel it is fair to get the percentage I have paid into it

As I have already stated and people have mentioned it was in negative equity, if I hadn't taken it on when he first moved out we would have ended up selling it there and then and both being left with a debt so I don't think it's fair that I should end up with nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️