To wonder why there are no consequences?

[PumpkinP]

My ex doesn’t pay any child maintenance for our 4 children. He hasn’t paid in around 6/7 years. He doesn’t work or claim any benefits apparently .There seems to be no consequences for not paying. Aibu to think that a nrp shouldn’t be allowed to get away without paying? It just feels like an insult to be honest.

Yanbu at all
Yet single mothers - the ones who take on the responsibility of raising the children on the whole - are hated.

No job and no benefits? So how does he survive then? Is that just what he's telling you? You could still try to claim and see what they can find on him?

I agree wholeheartedly with you. My ex didn't pay any maintenance for first 2 years of my DD life. He was working but self employed so they couldn't catch up with him. Must be employed now as the past 18 months I've been getting maintenance, it's sporadic though. Some months I get it and some I don't.
He doesn't see my DD and since the last year his family (mum and sister) haven't contacted me to see her either.
It's pants

No unfortunately it’s what cms have told me. That he doesn’t work or claim benefits.

YANBU I really don't know why they're not held to account really. It really pisses me off that society in general points the finger at the woman, and I say woman because single dad's largely are praised for bringing up their children alone. I've never heard of a man being asked 'why didn't you plan better?' like women are. The majority of single parents are women, which means the majority of men do the walking away and not taking responsibility for their own actions. Men know as well as women that sex might lead to a child and children cost money and time. They make that choice to walk away, yet the one left behind gets the blame.
I got behind with my council tax a few years ago, they were sharp enough to be no tolerance and send bailiffs and take it out of my wages, the exact same needs to happen to absent parents who won't pay. Use the same process they do to recover council tax. And the same penalties too. One year non payment and tough tits, out of your wages, benefits or belongings it comes, continue to refuse or avoid and prison.
And it should be 50% of the responsibility too, if childcare is needed then 50% from each parent, whether they do it themselves or pay someone to.
It's so wrong that they're not held responsible, financially, morally or practically, but the real shitter is the one picking up the pieces ends up with the blame too.

YANBU OP. @Gottagetout has said what I wanted to but better

YANBU reform is overdue

I believe that, unless there is a safeguarding reason not to do so, then parents should split the time with their children 50:50. This would then eliminate the need for most cases of child maintenance. Both parents should have to take responsibility for having brought a child into the world.

Obviously there would have to be some leeway in the system for babies up to a certain age who are, say, breastfeeding.

We can't bleat on about sexual equality when, a lot of the time, women expect to be the parent with residence and be able to be a SAHP if they wish.

If most parents have their children 50:50 then each parent would work to pay their part in supporting their child/children and each would pay childcare if needed for when they were working.

Yanbu. But I am not sure in situations like yours, how they could enforce it?

I do wish society put as much shame on to these men as they do single, female, parents.

It seems because a man comes up with a load of excuses, as to why he doesnt pay, people just believe every word he says.

Unfortunately he doesn’t see them at all because he doesn’t want to so 50:50 wouldn’t work. (Apparently I tricked him into having all 4 also ) I’m just sick of it tbh, I have to struggle along trying to buy uniform, coats, school shoes, without anything from him. There should be some penalty for not paying.

Yanbu. But I am not sure in situations like yours, how they could enforce it?

I’m not sure but they manage to enforce other debts, if you weren’t paying council tax you wouldn’t just be able to get away with it.

YANBU. CMS has more powers available to them but they pretty much choose not to use them.

I would quite happily see more rigorous punishment for feckless fathers (and lets face it, the majority of people who don’t pay maintenance are fathers).

YANBU. My own father never paid a penny. Not one.
He was self employed and making a mint, too. Nice house, and new wives kids were well looked after.
It needs to be enforceable, somehow.

Child support needs to be both income and asset/lifestyle based.

It should be enforced with confiscation of driving licences, passports and also with prison.

There should be harsh consequences for any parent that doesn’t support their child/ children whether resident or not. Plenty of both sadly.

Wouldn’t take much to implement and there would be numerous ways to do so.

How old are your children, OP?

YANBU