To wish I could sleep through the pain of dB passing away and wake up again

[Monty27]

I don't think I'm dealing with the loss of dB. I wish it was a really bad nightmare from which I can wake up and breathe a sigh of relief.
I'm not suicidal at all. But in a lot of pain because he didn't want to leave us. But cancer took him. He wasn't afraid his thoughts were for us his family.
At least he passed away knowing he was loved.
He was stunning. Miss you bro.

I'm sorry OP. I haven't got a brother but I'm grieving for someone and grief is a bastard.

It's hard to know what to say and find the right words. At the moment I'm trying hard to live my life for the sake of the person I'm grieving for. It's easier said than done but I'm hoping in the long run it'll yield something positive

I’m very sorry to read this . I can sense your pain in your words . My dad and nephew have both died suddenly within the last 3 months so I have some understanding of what you’re going through .
Take care

I don’t know how I’d cope with the passing of one of my sisters, therefore can offer you no advice personally. However my mum received counselling from a bereavement charity called Crus following a breakdown after the sudden loss of her Dad. Perhaps professional help would help- lord knows I’d need it.

Sending a hand hold. We lost my DB a number of years ago and the pain is something else. We weren't able to say goodbye as he died suddenly in his sleep with no prior warning. How long ago did you lose your DB? I would like to say that it gets easier but I think the correct description would be less raw.

Thank you for your empathy ppl. It's hard. Knowing how he coped through it puts me ín humility. If only I could find his strength and dignity. He amazing. Nn déar bro. you're always in.my.thougjts.♥️

I feel for you. I lost my partner and true soul mate a bit over a year ago.

The worst for me has always been those few moments when you wake up and then suddenly remember they are gone. It's like it happens afresh every single day. I have been a poor sleeper for many years but this has destroyed any form of sleep pattern for me; I hated waking and the realisation so much that I was staying up all night and then cat-napping.

You won't 'forget' and neither will you 'get over it' but you will learn to manage your days and find some sort of peace.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm really sorry op. I lost my sister in 2016, and all I can say is it's hard. Give yourself time, you will be a mess for a while and that's OK. Cry when you need to, but have fun too - remind yourself that that's what your brother wanted, he didn't want you to stop living your life. There won't be a day goes by that you don't think about him, but you'll get more used to it, and it won't make you cry every time like it does right now.

Im so sorry. I have no words to help at all. But I can relate.
Be kind to yourself. I'm guessing by sounds of him, that is what he would have wanted.
Don't grieve me, sis, celebrate me...

My big brother died in a climbing accident. It was so fast - and nearly a decade on, it's still painful. I know you are in a fog right now, but I suggest you seek help. It took me years but now I live for the both of us. I make sure I do. I miss him every day. But you deserve to be here and live everyday xx

I'm so very sorry you're going through this.

You made sure your brother knew he was loved and cherished, and that's an amazing gift you gave. Never underestimate how much that would have comforted him.

I hope your memories of happy times together soon outnumber the terribly painful ones, and remember all emotions, even the negative ones, are perfectly normal and valid. Go at your own pace.
Grief is very, very individual.

Losing my lovely brother is something that I absolutely dread.

Sending you strength

Sorry you’re going through such a hard time.

Have you got support? Are you able to access further counselling should you need it?

Thank you everyone. It's comforting to know how much people care and also that I'm not alone in the grief.
I'm sorry for you all that have lost.
Peace to all. And that's from my heart.

My dear friend who is having a terrible time with grief has said that Julia Samuel's book "Grief Works" is amazing. She also gives incredible talks, if you can attend one.

Also, this pod cast helped, though the humour can be very dark. It's comedians talking about their grief. But it helps shine a light on all the different emotions death brings:

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/griefcast-with-cariad-lloyd/id1178572854?i=1000397852036

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Yesterday was the anniversary of my brother's death. He was just 19 and it was very sudden. The pain was palpable. It felt like up until that time I'd lived in a bubble. I longed for the time before he died. Our world changed that day and it took a long time to accept a new 'normal.' It's now 18 years. It does get easier to bear and I can smile at his memory, although I will feel his loss forever.

Hi Monty it sounds as though you had a lovely relationship with your brother and were both blessed.

@57Mummyoflittledragon. I was blessed.. he was an amazing person. To everyone. His loss has felt hard for all of us. Going back to home town next week to catch up with the family. Including his DC's and their DC's.
Thanks again everyone ♥️

That sounds lovely.

I'm so sorry to not have got back to you all following my original post.
I did go back and viewed his stunning headstone
Everything about him was stunning. I sobbed with his eldest son holding me.
I had written him a letter thanking him for being wonderful.
Since then Christmas and his birthday in January has passed.
His family are coping probably the same as me. There's a new grandchild since as well from his only daughter. He would have been so happy. I don't know how his children cope.
Anyway I just want to give you all a hug and hoping you're all doing as well as you can.