Hiding debt

[Mumof3babygirls]

I recently found a letter that had been sent to my partner. It was a debt company wanting money, it was a debt from a previous relationship. I confronted him and it’s been paid however I can’t understand why he didn’t tell me abt it! He was short of money in September, I helped him out which I often do but I didn’t know that was the reason why! I have MASSIVE trust issues due to being cheated on during a 20 year relationship and this has started alarm bells ringing... is he hiding other things from me!! So we’ve had a argument. He thinks I’m being unreasonable am I?

They're two separate things, the money issue and the possibility of "anything else". If there's no evidence of this, you're being U to suspect him. The money is another matter. If it was a previous debt, then it's not really any of your business provided it's not affecting you. But if you're subsidising him, it IS affecting you. You need to stop handing out money. He needs to stand on his own 2 feet.

I’m not really subsidising him. He’s moved into my house,my ex pays the mortgage on it atm. I just don’t understand why he didn’t just say abt the letter. He says I would have over reacted! I guess that’s a possibility but we’re meant to be a couple just feel like he should have shared it with me. Maybe I am over reacting Thankyou for replying x

Of course his living arrangements are being subsidised by you/your ex if he’s living in your house and your ex is paying the mortgage. When you helped him out in September, did that correlate with the old debt payments or make up for funds he’d spent on that? Again if so you’re subsidising him so I would say that gives you a right to know and therefore you wouldn’t be overreacting to him hiding it from you.