To expect posters to return to their thread?

[Joeler]

I'm relatively new to MN so I'm just asking about etiquette really. Since I've joined I've noticed that lots of posters,ask for advice on matters and then don't return to the thread to answer questions,or to thank people for taking the time to offer their opinion. I understand that people may have an emergency,but a line on the thread saying " thanks for the replies,I'll update you all shortly" or words to that effect would n't go a miss.I'm thinking it's just common courtesy. What do others think?

Yes
Although, sometimes people make up endings.
That's sometimes fun

It depends on the thread and the time frame

What I think happens much, much more often is that an OP posts a thread about something really sensitive and within 4-6 hours a minority of people have started with the "any update OP?" and get quite unpleasant as if a poster's struggles are their own reality TV.

Okay,I'll try that.I feel myself getting heavily invested in posts and when they don't return I wonder how it all worked out.Making up my own ending will give me some closure at least!

Could be a hand grenade. See how many replies they can get just one one or two posts. For shits and giggles like.

Im reletively new to MN but ive learnt the following -

• when posters dont get the replies they're after they tend to not go back
• im pretty sure some posters post absolute rubbish for attention

Up to a point. I think if an OP is distressed and posters have invested time and energy reading a long thread and thought carefully about their answers and an OP disappears off into the blue its a bit discourteous.

But there are plenty of things that take priority over MN: people are off looking after small children/going to work and life gets in the way.

Also sometimes MN threads can turn into a proper soap opera and people rubberneck a bit. I can imagine if I'd posted in a state of distress about something and got kicked by a bunch of strangers I might want to retreat into my shell and not have to respond individually with a blow by blow account of the death of my marriage or a long fight with a family member.

YANBU but some threads take off with hundreds of posts. If you hit certain themes & times of day the rabble really do get roused, and there's just no appeasing them. I can understand why an OP might get overwhelmed 7 or 8 pages in and quite frankly not want to RTFT, especially if there's a lot of trolling & bitchiness.

Bucking that trend was someone earlier today who came back after 18 months or so after leaving her husband. She came back to thank mn for support and advice received and to give an update and general encouragement to those in similar circs. It was so unusual and really lovely.
I do understand though that some ops are in such difficulty that coming back to update may be the furthest thing from their mind.
It’s more the ‘mysteries’ where lack of resolution can be annoying. Eg a poster who asked for help with what something meant on her calendar for the next day - 20 pages later of us trying to decipher etc and no word from her ! Arghhh !

I agree with CAG12

I think some posters get feedback they just don't want to hear, even though they were the one asking for advise. Case in point, the woman who wrote about her selfish, cyclist, twat of a boyfriend who bitched and moaned that she didn't have dinner waiting for him at his home when he was done peddling around all day with his friends. She is on the cusp of moving in with him, and evvvveryone told her to dump the fuckwit because he will only get worse. No response from the op. Denial is a powerful thing.

Well thanks for all your replies. I'll be less inclined to dismiss the OP as ill mannered from now on.It does tend to happen more on the sensitive topics,so perhaps they are feeling overwhelmed with their circumstances. I think sometimes when you have a problem it takes a while to digest the responses too,and perhaps come to terms with a given situation.

Yanbu this bugs me too 😑

I don't find it unreasonable on AIBU posts because honestly some people have been histerics on here, and most of the time is not the OP. So idk.
But on TTC posts it does bother me that you have a 20 page long thead IF someone is preggers, and they don't update! And you always get that one post at the end, 2 years later. "So, where you pregnant?!...."
Does my head in.