Acceptable level of child contact?

[westendgirlx]

Could I have people's views on this, please? What is the acceptable amount of contact for a fourteen and a half year old girl with her father who lives 150 miles away?

I moved to be with my new husband and my daughter lives with us. We've been here three years and she's settled and has just started her GCSEs.

Her dad lives in the town we used to live in with his new wife.

I have been driving her up and down for contact with her father for several years. Always me because her dad doesn't drive and neither does his new wife!

He used to give us child maintenance but now he pays nothing because he has lost his job.

I've been trying to get my daughter to decide for herself how often she would like to visit now she's getting older but she's finding that very difficult.

Her father and I have never really agreed on how much contact he should have. We have discussed it time and time again. There's no perfect solution.

What do you guys think??

The man needs a driver's licence at some stage,, if not for his daughter then maybe for potential future kids, hospital runs, employment, daughter going to university etc

Nobody needs a driving license unless they have a driving job.

Most adults who have the funds and ability to drive do so (especially men I think). So there’s likely a good reason why he doesn’t already drive.

Plus if it was part of the discussions when the OP moved then it’s not on him to change when she made it part of their agreement when she moved

Actually facilitating contact doesn’t mean OP has to drive. At 14 her dd is quite capable of taking a bus / coach or train. Facilitating contact could just mean paying for the ticket and driving her to the nearest station.

He didn’t drive when OP was with him so she knew the deal.

And he didn't take steps to prevent her moving so he knew it also....

Presumably because OP said she’d be facilitating contact. Which she’s now trying to stop doing.

At 15 public transport should be an option.