AIBU to feel fed up about this?

[Brexitfairy]

Think I may be being a bit unreasonable and probably a bit entitled but I’d be interested to the opinions of others....

I work in a small team and our company has very strict rules about how many people can be on leave at any one time which is perfectly reasonable. Leave is agreed on a first come first served basis.

There are a few of us with school aged children and naturally we aim to use our leave in the school holidays. Generally this seems to work because those without children or with grown up kids don’t want the school holidays because it’s expensive to travel
Anyway, 2 colleagues have already put in requests for some leave next year-both for the same week which is a half term and neither of them have kids. Because our boss has also booked that week off it means nobody else can have leave that week including all the team members who have school aged children.

One of them wants the leave to go on a holiday with a friend who lives in a different country (so isn’t confined by the same academic year and whatever)
The other wants to do a course that week related to their hobby

Both are completely totally reasonable reasons to take the leave that they’re entitled to.....

But I can’t help feeling a bit fed up about it because it means there will be a few of us who wanted to be off that will miss a week with their kids

I know it’s just one of those things and probably a one off, but would be interested to know thoughts! In hindsight I should have organised my leave further in advance perhaps but we’re talking about a year away and I hadn’t thought that far ahead yet-more fool me!

So yeh, AIBU to feel a bit fed up?

Yes.

Like you said, first come first served

I can understand you being a bit annoyed. It’s no ones fault though which you clearly recognise. Allow yourself today to have a sulk and then let it go x

As I suspected, will know better next time

Bloody kids

You're not being unreasonable. It's perfectly understandable. But as you say, they got there first. Maybe they didn't even know it would be half term.

Unfortunately YABU , I doubt your colleague can dictate when the course is being held and the date may be the only time your other colleague’s friend can have time off. It is a pain when you have children but you have no idea of what is happening in other people’s lives that mean they take annual leave during school holidays.

YANBU to feel a bit sad that by you are going to miss a half term with your kids.

YABU if you are feeling resentful to your colleagues for booking time off according to the company procedure. Their holiday time, ambitions, commitments matter too.

You are being unreasonable being annoyed about it. Deep down, you expect you and other parents to get priority and that’s not fair.

Yep YABU.

Having children isn’t a queue jump for holidays. Everyone is entitled to book as they need. If those weeks were very important you needed to be on the ball and book as soon as you knew the dates.

I agree I’m afraid - first come first serve.
I’ve read lots of threads extensively debating ‘should those with kids gets priority during school holidays’ and it always comes back to the same thing - discrimination.

-To offer priority to those with children would be discrimination against those without

• It ALWAYS ends up in a fight about whether ‘men and women would equally get priority (after all children don’t need both parents off during holidays) and then that starts another fight over gender discrimination.
• Then it’s suggested that single parents should take ultimate priority.

-Followed by an avalanche of ‘I’m not a single parents but DH works away/is disabled...so prioritising single parents would discriminate against me!

• Then someone mentions Christmas/Easter (as these also fall within school holidays) and whether this would discriminate against religious childless employees!

Before you know it a simple ‘shouldn’t we have priority during school holidays?’ Has opened a WHOLE CAN OF DISCRIMINATORY WORMS 😂

So yes I see what you mean and YANBU to think it and mutter a bit to yourself - but YWBVU to act on it or say anything

YABU. Everyone is entitled to what annual leave they like.

Different schools have different weeks off. Before I had kids I didn’t even know when half term was and it wouldn’t have occurred to me to consider it. They might not have kids but maybe they have a DH who’s a teacher and can only be off at half term, for example. Or maybe it’s a family trip during half term when nieces and nephews are off.

I mean, obviously nobody wants to open a whole can of discriminatory worms! 🤣

To clarify, I wouldn’t say anything to either of my colleagues because as I said we’re all entitled to use our leave and I recognise that

I think feeling fed up about it is probably less of believing that parents take priority and more of realising I’ve made a rookie error by not bagging the school holidays as soon as I knew about them 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP I put both DC (different schools) holidays/Inset days etc into my phone Calendar as soon as I get them and book my years work accordingly (self employed) im usually checking the schools’ websites from mid August to see if they’ve uploaded any dates yet. It’s a good habit to get into.